


The Best One Yet!

by EllieBear



Series: The Gracie Mars Chronicles [1]
Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Divorce, Family, Holidays, Lovecember 2020, Meddling Kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 60,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27871209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieBear/pseuds/EllieBear
Summary: Hi! I'm Gracie Mars. I only have twelve days to make sure my mom, Veronica, doesn't marry the wrong man (ugh!), and reunite her with the right man...my dad, Logan. With the help of my brother, Phin, I need to work fast to make sure the Worst Christmas Ever turns into the Best One Yet!(A LoVe Christmas Fairy Tale.)
Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars
Series: The Gracie Mars Chronicles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149854
Comments: 652
Kudos: 227
Collections: Lovecember Holiday Edition





	1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, my mom and dad were madly in love. 

So madly in love that they threw caution to the wind (as my mom puts it) and conceived my brother and me. She calls it a "happy shock" when she found out she was pregnant. My dad calls it the "best thing that ever happened to him." Grandpa Keith just said he was glad they snuck off and got married before they told him they were going to have us. Grandpa insists that he wasn't mad, per se, but since Mom and Dad were only 18 years old, he was more than a bit surprised by it. 

Their wedding was beautiful. Dad only has one picture from it, taken by my Uncle Dick on his cell phone. It was fuzzy when they printed it, but it shows my dad in khakis and a nice green shirt, and my mom in a long blue summer dress the colour of the ocean, and they're on the beach near a lifeguard tower, and there's a judge in a suit and my Aunty Mac and Uncle Wallace, and the sun is setting, and it's the most romantic thing ever. Mom's holding a bouquet of lilies. Dad said that it was for their friend who died — Lilly — who she named me after, and they're both smiling, and mom is crying she's so happy, and it's all just perfect. Dad keeps the picture in his side table drawer, and when we come to stay with him, I take it out and put it in my drawer until we leave so I can look at it. He said it was okay. If Mom has a copy, I've never found it. And trust me...I've looked through all the drawers in her bedroom and picked the lock to her office at home and still couldn't find it.

Six months after they got married, my brother Phin and I were born. They knew we would be twins, and Mom said she got to name me — Grace Lillian Mars. Poor Phineus Zacharias Mars was named by my father and Uncle Dick. Mom said she nearly divorced Dad right then when she saw the birth certificate. Dad said anyone could have a name like ‘Logan’...it was a truly unique soul that could carry the name Phineus. Mom said it was the first sign that he wasn't ready for us. 

But if you know Phin, then you know that he lives up to his name. He's brilliant and dorky and sweet and funny, and all the boys want to be his friend, and all the girls whisper about him. He cares about people and is always the first to help, and sometimes I wish I could be more like him, but I'm still happy being me even if I don't have as many friends. I'm still as smart as him, if not smarter some days. He has a mop of sandy brownish-blond hair, and when he smiles, he looks like Dad with his dimples. Every once in a while, Mom accidentally calls him "Logan", and Phin and I laugh at her mistake. 

Dad says that I look like a slightly shorter version of the most beautiful girl he ever met and smiles this wobbly looking smile at me. My mom was just a bit older than me when they were introduced at a soccer game after Dad moved to Neptune. Grandpa showed me a picture of her in her green and white uniform, her hair in pigtails, grinning at the camera. She smiled a lot back then. She doesn't smile much anymore. I think that has to do with us and her job as a District Attorney. She says she's  _ stressed _ a lot. I wish she wasn't. 

When we were two years old, my mom left Neptune alone with us to go to school in New York and never came back. She said she needed to pursue her dream of becoming a lawyer, and she couldn't let anything stand in her way. She said she would rather have two children, not three, while she was going to school. She said she needed to focus. I don't remember much about that time. All I remember was that everyone was sad.

Dad paid for a nanny for us and a nice apartment close to Columbia University. When their divorce was finalized, he came out once a year to take us back to Neptune for the summer, and we came out to California at Christmas with Mom. She would visit Grandpa during the holidays, and we would stay with Dad, and then we all fly home together a few days after New Year's Eve.

Every year, I ask Dad why he doesn't just move to New York so we could see him more. And every time, he says the same thing:

"Your mother needs her space."

When we were little, we didn't know what that meant. Now that I'm ten-going-on-eleven, I know more. It's a kind way of saying Mom doesn't play well with others. After the incident between Mom and Doreen Shultz's mom at the PTA Carnival Fundraiser, I figured that out. My mom likes things to go her way. She also doesn't like when people get in her way when she has a plan. Doreen still won't look at me when I wave to her in the halls at school.

There's a lot I see now that I'm older. I can see the sadness in Dad's eyes now that I didn’t notice when we were younger. He's usually fun and happy all Christmas long, but when Mom arrives to collect us for the airport, he hugs us and nods in this way that makes him look like a robot. Mom acts the same way in front of him, then she cries on the plane (even though she thinks she's hiding it from us.) I imagine that Dad does the same in his big house, all alone. When we were little, Phin would kick and scream and cry, and Mom would have to pull him away from Dad and carry him to Grandpa's car. He's never been as good at keeping his tears inside like I am. It's because I'm five minutes older and more mature.

Dad once told us that he didn't have a very good childhood, which is why he wanted to make sure he had as much fun with us as possible. My Grandma Lynn died in an accident. Dad didn't tell us how our Grandpa Aaron died, but the way he told us, Phin and I knew better than to ask. Sometimes, at Christmas, Grandpa Keith will hug Dad a little too long, and it will look like Dad is going to cry. But we don't say anything about it.

Every year, we go over to Grandpa Keith's on Christmas Eve to have dinner and open gifts. Mom and Dad are nice to each other, but they don't talk much. Dad sits across the room from Mom, and when we leave for the night, he gives her a kiss on the cheek, and they talk about when she will pick us up. It's nice. Mom once said they agreed not to argue in front of us, and they wouldn't say mean things about each other to us either. Christmas is the one time they put their differences aside, and we are all a big, happy family for one night.

This year is going to be different, though. Really different. 

While we were away at Dad's this summer, Mom started dating a guy. She's never dated a guy! Or if she had, we never met him. But a week after we came back, we all went out for dinner, and she introduced us to Stosh Piznarski. Stosh. It almost made Phineas' name sound normal. 

He told us to call him "Piz" like we're one of his buddies, but I call him Stosh because every time, I see his eye twitch a bit when he tries to smile, and I know it bugs him. 

The day after we met Stosh, we talked to Dad after school on Skype, and I wanted to tell him about this guy, but when I tried, my heart hurt, so I kept quiet. Phin couldn't either. Maybe we both just hoped Stosh would disappear. 

Nope.

He didn't disappear.

In fact, he proposed. Over dinner at a restaurant last week. It wasn't even romantic like the top of the Empire State Building or anything. He put the ring in her champagne glass.

Ugh.

And now he's coming with us for Christmas. To meet Grandpa. To meet my dad. To "celebrate the season with his new family."

Barf!

But I told Phin when we were packing, there was no way in heck that we were going to have him as our "new dad." No way. He’s boring and weird, and Mom did this fake laugh with him around, and he did creepy things like hold her hand at the dinner table while she's trying to eat. Who does that?! Plus, he likes anchovies on his pizza, which my best friend, Stella, says is a sure sign of a serial killer. But Stella also keeps referring to my dad as a "hottie" and insists that I need to invite him to her bat mitzvah in a few years, so I try not to talk about it too much with her.

No, what needs to happen is my mom needs to get married again, but not to Stosh. She needs to marry my dad again. And this Christmas, I'm going to make that happen. This is going to be the very best Christmas of my entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

We've been in Neptune one whole hour, and it's a disaster already. Instead of Grandpa picking us up at the airport, Stosh insisted we rent a car, and he would drive us to dad's house, which is just so not cool. At all. Grandpa hugs and a goofy sign welcoming us home at the airport is our thing. It's how we start Christmas. This is not.

The entire flight, I racked my brain to come up with a plan to get Mom and Dad back together, but nothing came to me. If we were twins separated at birth, I would have had a whole movie to tell me how to trap my parents into falling in love again. But I just have to wing it myself.

Now, Phin and I are sitting in the back seat, trying not to get sick from the gross smell of carpet shampoo and feet, watching the city go by. Phin hasn't said a word since we landed, and I know it's because he's anxious about seeing Dad. He gets this way sometimes. Just goes silent. He said once that when we get dropped off, his brain starts a countdown timer to the moment we have to leave, and it makes him sad.

"Wow. So you lived in this neighbourhood?"

Stosh is slowing to look at the mansions, and I roll my eyes, knowing he can't see me.

"No. When Logan and I were together, we had a little house near Hearst College. His family's home burnt down when we were teens, and he built a new house on the property after we divorced."

"I was wondering. Looks too bourgeoisie for you."

If I roll my eyes any harder, they may fall out of my skull. Stosh is wearing green khakis and a beige Polo shirt under a brown tweed sport coat like he's trying to be hip and tossed together, but he looks kinda ‘schleppy’ (as Stella would say.) You'd think that if you were meeting your future wife's ex-husband, you would at least try and look good. But not Stosh. 

"It's definitely more Logan's style than mine," Mom murmurs and looks back out the window.

I can see her reflection in the rearview mirror through my window, and for a second, I think I see a small smile cross her face.

"What was our house like back then, Mom?" 

My head snaps towards Phin. He almost never asks questions about the past. That's my job. Being the nosy one is my  _ thing. _

She sighs and runs her fingers through her wavy hair, and I hold my breath, waiting on her answer. 

"It was cute." She glances over her shoulder and gives us a thin smile. "It had old plaster walls and oak trim everywhere. Your bedroom was on the second floor, and there was just enough room for two cribs and a changing table in it. There was a porch and an apple tree and a short white picket fence around it." Mom stops, and a genuine smile spreads across her face. "Sometimes, when it was too hot inside the house, your father and I would take you outside and put you on a blanket to play in the shade while we sat on the grass and studied."

Phin smiles a giant grin, and I wonder why because all my insides hurt from that story.

"That sounds awesome, Mom."

Mom gives him a little nod and turns her eyes back to the road, but doesn't say any more.

Behind us, a car guns its engine, and Stosh frowns into the rearview mirror.

"Some jerk in a Lamborghini is revving his engine behind me."

There's a loud screeching of tires, and I look out Phin's window, seeing the red sports car pull into the lane beside us and gasp.

"DADDY!" we both scream in unison.

Dad tosses us a salute before gunning it, easily passing our car and bolting down the street towards his house.

"Catch him!" Phin yells excitedly, pointing towards Stosh.

"Absolutely not!" Mom snaps, folding her arms over her chest. "We are not risking our necks because your father thinks he's being funny."

"Your mother is right. That move was just reckless."

Phin and I look at each other and sigh, slouching into our seats. Ugh. As we drive up to the open gates to the mansion, I legit wonder if I can do myself a permanent injury from all the eye-rolling that will happen if I spend too much time with Stosh. 

Stosh follows the driveway, and I see Dad jump out of his car and wave to us excitedly. He's in a dark blue suit with a white shirt, his collar open a few buttons like he was just at some business meeting. His hair has messy spikes, and he has the biggest smile with the deepest dimples, and I'm so happy I could leap right out of the car. 

The minute we stop, I throw myself out of the back seat and run towards him.

"Daddy!!!"

"Gracie-bug! Phin-zin!"

His arms open wide, and I dive into him. He's like a brick wall, and I squish my nose against him, and it hurts, but it hurts more when Phin lands against me. Dad closes his arms around us both and tightens his hug.

"My heart has returned," he murmurs, kissing our heads.

"I missed you, Dad," Phin says behind me.

"I missed you!" I gasp into Dad's chest, and he laughs and releases us.

We pile out of his arms, and he crouches down slightly to look us in the eye. 

"Guess what I did?"

"What?!"

"I made the foyer into a giant climbing wall."

"What!!!"

"What?!"

I turn and see Mom standing outside the car while Stosh unloads our bags from the trunk. Her hands are on her hips, her mouth open in shock. She's in a pair of tight black pants, high leather boots, and her favourite soft black leather jacket, and when Dad looks over at her, his breath does this little hiccup thing that it always does when he sees her.

"Don't worry, Veronica. I also installed an automatic belay system. And we have helmets. The kids will be fine." Dad stands and straightens his suit. "Uncle Dick and I made it all the way up to the skylight. We could see the stars."

"Cool!" Phin takes off, up the front steps to the big black doors and disappears into the house in a flash.

"Wait for me!" I scream and run after him.

Bursting through the doors, I catch up with Phin, frozen in the middle of the room, mouth open in shock as he looks up to the skylight above. 

Dad's house is a two-story marvel. It was actually featured in Architectural Digest. The foyer is a huge open space that looks like a tall rectangular box that goes even higher than the second floor and has windows at the top. On the right side, there's a glass and metal staircase that goes to the second floor, where our bedrooms and Dad's bedroom are. Three long arms come off from each section of the rectangle -- the guest rooms, the kitchen and dining room and living room, and the entertainment wing. He has an arcade with old games like Ms. Pacman and Asteroids, a theatre with a popcorn machine, and a gaming room for him and Uncle Dick to goof around in.

And now there's a climbing wall.

The colourful climbing rocks are scattered around the entire wall space, and two harnesses hang down near the middle of the room where there was once a glass table. He's taken us rock climbing at an indoor gym before. But this is next level awesome. 

"Isn't it great!" 

Dad clasps my shoulders from behind, and I smile.

"It's so cool, Dad. I love it."

Phin wanders to the harness and gives it a little tug. Dad comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I know you really took to it this summer, Phin. Hope we can do this together for many years to come. Just have to promise me you won't go on this without me around, okay?"

"Okay, Dad. I promise."

"Oh my God…."

I spin around and see Mom come through the door with my suitcases. Stosh is carrying Phin's. 

"See totally safe, Vee!" Dad stretches out his long arms and laughs. "I just put away the mats when we're not using them."

Mom puts down the suitcase and my backpack and sighs in that way that I know she's trying not to be angry, but she is inside.

"Oh! Sorry...just a sec…" Walking towards them, Dad pulls out his wallet and quickly peels out some cash. Holding it out to Stosh, he grins. "I know Uber doesn't do cash, but here's a little something extra for getting my kids home safe and sound."

He continues to hold the money at arm's length, and I snicker at the twisted face Stosh makes at Dad's hand.

Mom reaches out and gently pushes Dad's hand down. "He's not the Uber driver. He came with me."

"Sorry. What?"

Everyone freezes. It's like watching some horrible event in slow motion that I'm unable to stop. I look at Phin, and he looks at me, and we both watch in horror as my mom sighs and says.

"Logan, this is Stosh Piznarski. My fiance."

That's when I see it cross my dad's face. Confusion. Then shock. Then the briefest flash of pain as he steps back, a big fake smile on his face.

"Oh. Well. Then this is a holiday  _ and _ a celebration."

Turning, Dad quickly walks past us both towards the kitchen wing. Raising his hand in the air, he makes this random waving gesture, and I'm not sure if he wants us to follow or he's just lost his mind.

"Champagne! I think we all need champagne!"

As he disappears, I'm still stuck to my spot in shock.

"When I imagined how this would play out, this is not how it happened." I hear Mom say as I wait for Dad to return.

"You didn't know he would act this way, Veronica. It's fine."

"I should have called him and told him, but it just didn't feel right. I thought if I could just talk to him in person…"

Dad suddenly comes back down the hall with a bottle and some champagne glasses, that weird fake smile still plastered on his lips.

"I was saving this for New Year's Eve, but what the hell…." He breezes past me and offers the glasses to Mom and Stosh, and they take them, looking confused.

"I thought you don't drink around the kids," Mom says, and my eyes go wide in shock. 

It's true. He doesn't. Ever. How did I never notice until now?

Dad glances over his shoulder at us, then looks back at Mom. 

"I'll make an exception for the  _ happy _ couple."

"You don't have to do this, Logan."

"Pft. Yes, I do." He rips the foil off the top and starts unwrapping the metal thing on the cork. "So...Stosh...how'd you come to land my beautiful ex-wife? Game of cards? Church perhaps? Tinder?"

When he pops the cork, it echoes, and I cringe. The whole room feels stuffy and awkward, and I want to leave so badly but can't.

"Actually, we met through work," Mom says, pressing her lips together in the way she does when she wants us to be quiet. "Piz is a segment producer for NPR, and we met about a story about the criminal justice system in New York."

"Piz?" 

Dad smirks and then presses his lips together, and I just know he's trying not to laugh while he pours their drinks.

"I go by Piz. Short for Piznarski..." 

"But I call him Stosh," I interject. 

All the adults look at me with varying reactions on their faces. Dad looks amused. Mom and Stosh do not.

"What?" I shrug. "It's his name."

"Gracie does have a point." Dad chuckles and finishes filling his own glass.

"I brought Piz with me so he could get to know our family better." 

Mom's voice rises, and her cheeks flush. She's definitely about to lose it with us.

"It hasn't been  _ our _ family in many years, Veronica. But I'm glad you wanted me to meet the new person in the kids' lives. Congratulations on the impending nuptials…."

Dad raises his glass to them and takes a long sip. Stosh is frowning, and Mom looks like she may murder Dad, which is not how things were supposed to go at all! This needs to stop. 

Dad is looking Stosh square in the eye, and side by side, there is just no contest about which one is more handsome and smart and funny and...and...

And that's when it hits me.

A plan.

"Mom's right!" I exclaim.

All eyes turn to me, and suddenly I feel all hot and clammy. Wringing my hands, I step forward.

"I want us all to get along. That's why I think we need to spend as much time together as possible. All of us."

I walk over to Dad and put my hand on his arm. He's still holding the champagne bottle and glass and looks sort of lost.

"Dad, I want us to include Stosh and Mom in  _ everything _ we do this holiday. So we can really, really get to know each other. Please. I don't want to be like my friends who have divorced parents that get remarried, and everyone hates each other." 

Boy, I was laying it on thick.

Phin appears on the other side of Dad, and I am shook by the sight of him and his puppy dog eyes. My twin sense tingles, and I know from the twinkle in his eye that he gets exactly what I'm doing and wants to join in.

"She's right, Dad." Phin sighs a little too dramatically. "I feel the same way. I don't want it to be weird when we all celebrate Christmas together."

For a second, Dad looks down at us, confused, but then he shrugs and takes another sip of his champagne. 

"One big happy family it is, then."

Mom comes over to me and puts her hand on my shoulder, and this is officially the closest she's been to dad in almost a full year.

"We will  _ all _ work very hard to make that happen, Gracie. I promise."

My tummy tickles. It's all just so simple. 

"We can start right away," Dad says. "I talked to Grandpa a few days ago, and he wants to make our annual Christmas trip to the San Diego Zoo tomorrow. We can all go."

"Oh...well...Veronica...I thought we were going to have some time together..." Stosh coughs, steps closer to mom, and puts his hand on her arm. "...alone."

A sharp look crosses her face, and I hold back my excitement. It's already happening. She's mad. And not at Dad. 

"I said I wanted to show you around my hometown, Piz. The zoo is one of the places I used to go with  _ my _ father." She sneaks a glance at Dad and takes a sip of champagne. "And it's a special place for him and the kids now. It'll be fun. You'll see."

I look up at Dad and wrinkle my nose. If Mom is the "fun one," life with Stosh would be even more boring than I imagined. Dad frowns at me in that way that tells me I should stop making faces, and I turn back to Mom.

"Yeah, Piz! It'll be fun!" Phin exclaims a little enthusiastically, and I want to tell him to chill.

"It's settled then," Mom states and downs her champagne in one long gulp.

"It's settled," Dad concurs.

"I can't wait!" I say.

And it's true. I really, honestly can't wait.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems that I have no real posting schedule for this so you may want to subscribe to this fic to get notices. lol Thanks to all who have left comments and kudos. It is always appreciated. ❤


	3. Chapter 3

I gotta admit, sometimes going out with my dad is weird. 

We're standing by the giant lion sculpture at the gates to the zoo, waiting for Grandpa and Mom and Stosh to arrive, and while we wait, rando moms with kids keep smiling at Dad. And it isn't the first time this has happened. Sometimes, they'll even flirt with him! When we came last summer, some lady kept ‘bumping into us’ all over the zoo with her kids. She said she went to school with Dad and Mom and was so sorry to hear they divorced. Mary? Monica? Madison? Something like that. It was strange. 

When we're walking with Mom in the city, creepy men just tell her to smile more, and she swears at them and whips out her taser from her purse. I'm not allowed to repeat what she says.

It doesn't help that he dressed so much nicer than he normally does for the zoo. Usually, he wears blue jeans and a t-shirt. Today, he's in a green plaid shirt, his soft brown leather jacket, and black jeans and I really kinda hope it's because Mom is coming with us.

When I see Grandpa walking from the parking lot, I let go of Dad's hand and run towards him. Phin laps me, and by the time I reach him, he's already being hugged by Grandpa. I hug Grandpa's side instead, instead of plowing Phin into Grandpa like he shoved me into Dad yesterday.

"My two favourite grandchildren! How wonderful to see you!!"

We step back, and Grandpa puts one hand on each of our heads, sizing us up. He does this every time.

"Eh. Almost as tall as me but still a ways to go. Looks like you'll have your dad's height gene."

"But their mother's eyes," Dad says from behind us, and I turn to see him looking past us towards Mom. 

She's standing a little ways away, holding Stosh's hand, and I notice that she blushes a bit and lowers her head to look away. She's wearing jeans, Converse sneakers, and her black leather jacket and she looks so rocking awesome. Stosh in his limp forest green sweater, tight grey jeans with the cuffs rolled over his black boots, and the same sport coat he wore yesterday. If he's trying to pull off New York Hipster, he clearly needs some help.

Grandpa steps past us and opens his arms to give Dad a big hug, and Dad looks so happy. Grandpa is a hugger. It's his thing.

"How you keeping, son? Did that deal you're working on go through?"

Grandpa steps back, and Dad rubs the back of his neck, grinning at Grandpa.

"Yeah, it did. Got the call while we were driving here. I'm pretty excited."

I turn to Stosh and plaster on my best sweet and innocent grin. "Did Mom tell you what my dad does?"

Stosh arches his eyebrow and chuckles nervously, looking over at Mom.

"She said he's in business investment. Technology in particular."

"I am, but in the past few years, it's kind of segued into more philanthropic pursuits," Dad explains. "I had a penchant for investing in small startups, and they paid off over the years. Allowed me to branch out."

"Dad just made a deal with Boys and Girls Clubs to have coding and technology classes in their after school programs all over California," I add and then drop my voice to a whisper and lean closer to Stosh and Mom. "His friend, Mr. Gates, is helping."

Mom looks up at Dad, and her mouth curls into a smile. "I didn't realize you were pursuing that avenue with your career. I mean, the kids never mentioned it."

Dad coughs and looks towards the ground as if embarrassed, and Phin comes over and takes his hand. "We just didn't think you'd be interested in it, that's all."

Mom frowns at us. I take her hand, moving in between her and Stosh. "It's okay, Mom. It's just part of us all learning how to be one big happy family together."

When we talked about it last night, Phin and I formulated a plan for the holidays — come up with ways for us all to be together, get in between Mom and Stosh as much as possible, hype all the great things Dad does, show her what a good parent he is, and, with some luck, get a chance to show her that Stosh is a doofus.

Simple, right?

"I guess it is," Mom says and smiles down at me.

"We should get going," Grandpa states. "I want to get to the Treetop Cafe before the lunch rush, which means we gotta get a move on."

Dad reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and produces a folded piece of paper. "I picked up tickets for everyone who is not on our membership online this morning. We can bypass the line."

He hands over the tickets to Mom, and she drops Stosh's hand to take them from Dad. For a very brief second, they pause, both holding the tickets, and I wonder if they can, like, feel each other's energy through the paper, like The Force or something. But then Dad lets go and runs his fingers through his hair in that way he has when he doesn't know quite what to do with himself.

"Thank you. It was very nice of you to pick these up for us."

"No problem." Dad nods. "Glad to have you along." He looks over at Stosh and nods again, and smiles. "Both of you. I look forward to getting to know you, Piz."

Jeepers, when Dad said he would make an effort, he wasn't kidding. Part of me kinda wishes he would be a jerk to Stosh. But he's not. And it's a bit of a bummer.

Squeezing Mom's hand, I give her a tug to start walking as Dad takes Phin's hand and starts towards the entrance. Grandpa is walking next to him, and they begin to talk, and I kinda wish I was up at the front with them, but it's nice to just walk with Mom right now since it's been a while since we've been to any zoo together. 

She's never been the kinda mom who volunteers for every school event, like Janine's mom, or leaves note in our lunch boxes like Felicity's, but I know she loves us more than anything. She just shows it differently than Dad. It's quieter. When I'm sick, she sleeps on the floor of my room in case I need anything at night. And when I wanted to be a rainbow unicorn princess for Halloween a few years ago, she helped me dye my hair six different colours. And she's always home for dinner and to tuck us into bed, even if she has to work until after midnight in her office at home. On weekends she drives us to all our activities, like soccer and swimming, and cheers for us in the stands.

Maybe that's why I don't think she should marry Stosh. Since he came into her life, there has been no difference. She hasn't been happier or sadder as she goes about her life with us. She just  _ is _ . It's as if loving him has barely made a dent in her existence. And she doesn't deserve that — to just settle for some second-rate schmuck. She loves us so much that she deserves to be loved as well, not just by us, but by someone who makes her so happy she can barely contain herself. And the only man I know who can do that is Dad.

And that's why...this needs to work.

We get through the gates, and I look up at her while we're walking towards Monkey Trail and Stosh is on the other side of her, talking about something about the New York City Zoo. Still, Mom is staring straight ahead, and I can see that she's sad but trying to hide it because her eyes are a bit watery, and her teeth are clenched tight like she looks when we leave Neptune. Then I realize that she's looking straight at Dad and Phin, holding hands while they walk, and Grandpa's hand is on Dad's shoulder, and they're laughing about something.

"What's so funny?" I call out.

Grandpa turns and jerks his chin at me. "The fact that your Dad still makes you wear bright colours to the zoo. Just don't get lost with the flamingos."

We stop near the flamingo enclosure, and I look down at my bright pink hoodie underneath my jean jacket. Phin turns so we can see his flaming orange t-shirt under his leather jacket. Dad always buys us new clothes in the summer for our two-month stay and steers us towards 'fun' colours. At home, we mainly wear our school uniforms, so our wardrobe isn't all that fun.

Dad leans against the railing to the enclosure and laughs. "It's a tradition. We come to the zoo; we wear colours that make them easy to spot if they run off."

Mom frowns and squeezes my hand a little tighter. "They've run off before?"

Dad shrugs. "A couple of times. When they were younger. Thankfully I'm faster than them, and Keith is sly."

"I cut Phin off at the pass once when he was five. The staff weren't too happy about me crossing the lawn, but it needed to be done." Grandpa chuckles and rubs his bald head.

"It was a piece of advice your dad gave me when the kids were small, Vee. Dress 'em bright, so you keep track of 'em."

Mom drops my hand and crosses her arms. "Or just don't lose them in the first place."

Dad opens his mouth to say something but clamps it shut instead, his jaw twitching.

"I told him that because of a certain little girl I once knew, who used to love  _ exploring _ the zoo all by herself." Grandpa puffs up his chest and grins. "A little girl named Veronica Mars, who loved the animals so much that walking with her mommy and daddy was too slow for her. She needed to run. And run she did."

Mom lets out a little squeak of surprise, and a smile stretches across Dad's face. 

Grandpa steps closer to her, and he reaches out for her hand. For a second, I'm not sure she'll take it, but when she does, her face softens.

"We can't always control what our kids do, Veronica," Grandpa says so quietly that I almost can't hear him. "But we still love them and want to keep them safe. That's all."

Now I'm super confused because it seems like he's talking about the zoo and Mom running off when she was little, but the way Mom nods, and her lip quivers, I think that maybe I missed something and he's not talking about the zoo at all anymore.

"Think the monkeys will fling their poop at us?" Phin pipes up, and we all look over at him standing there next to Dad.

Dad snorts when he laughs and rubs Phin's head. "Only if we're lucky, Phin-zin."

"You know, apparently they will only do that when they're mad or bored," Stosh pipes up, and we all turn. Truth be told, I kinda forgot he was with us for a second. "They probably do it in zoos because they're trapped in such inhumane quarters."

My whole family looks at each other in various stages of shock. Even Mom. It's one thing to be boring. It's another thing to be anti-zoo. My family are zoo people. That's  _ our _ thing. If there is a zoo or aquarium within the borders of the state we live in, we have been there, seen that. You might as well tell us you don't like ice cream and call it a day.

"Not a fan of zoos, I take it," Dad says with a weird smile on his face, and I notice he's looking at Mom, who is frowning at Stosh.

Clearing his throat, Stosh looks Mom in the eye. "I do have a moral objection to the caging of wild animals, yes. I produced a segment for NPR on how zoos give children unrealistic expectations that animals should entertain them and makes them more likely to perpetuate harmful beliefs about our relationship with animals."

"Interesting," Dad says with a smirk. "Well, too late to refund your ticket. Might as well make the best of it."

Now we're all looking at Mom, but instead of saying anything, she goes oddly quiet. Did she know he felt like this? I mean, if I were to have a boyfriend, liking zoos and roller coasters would definitely be at the top of my list of qualities I would look for.

"I didn't know you felt this way," she murmurs. "You could have said something before we left."

Stosh puts his hand around her waist and pats her lower back, grinning. "Now, you know. I'll play you the segment back at the house. Maybe it'll change your mind on allowing your kids to visit in the future."

Did...did he just offer parenting advice to my mom? This could get ugly.

Mom straightens and pushes back her shoulders, and I hope beyond hope that this is where it all ends.

“Sometimes, you’ll find, Piz, that parenting is about the compromise. My children like going to the zoo.  _ I like _ going to the zoo with them.” She takes a sharp breath and arches her eyebrow, and I feel like this may be it. “When we get married, you can choose to be a part of that or not.”

Awkward silence spreads over our group, and I silently pray that Stosh will just turn around and leave. But he doesn’t. He just continues to stand there and stare at Mom in shock.

"Well, I, for one, enjoy my relationship with wild animals." Dad finally breaks the silence, eyes lit up like he's up to something mischievous, and he licks his lips before speaking. "Especially bobcats. They're my favourite."

He turns from us, and Mom gasps and blushes, then clamps her mouth shut. Taking Phin's hand, he waves for us to follow.

"No time to dawdle. Let's go, gang."

For a second, we watch Grandpa, Dad, and Phin walk away. Mom seems frozen to her spot, and I'm so confused. What do Bobcats have to do with anything? Of all the animals, why would  Dad pick that one?

"Are you okay, Mom?"

I can hear her swallow, and she takes a sharp breath before grasping my hand.

"I'm fine. Just fine."

As we walk, Mom's eyes are fixed on the back of Dad's head, and Stosh fills the silence with more prattling about another one of his documentaries about the illegal elephant ivory trade. She tosses him a few "uh-huh" and "interesting," but she's not listening any more than I am.

She's ignoring him. She now knows he doesn't like one of the things she absolutely loves. Plus, whatever Dad said to her seems to have had some impact because she can't keep her eyes off him.

This seems to be going better than I could have hoped.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to put in a note last time to give a shout-out of thanks to Irma66 for some fun brainstorming from personal experience on the zoo visit.
> 
> And props to Catty8 for tossing around some character stuff for Uncle Dick. I could write a whole side fic about it. lol

It was too cold for the outdoor pool today, so we chose to host the pool party in the indoor one. Because what's a Christmas in California without a swim the day before Christmas Eve??? Sometimes, we get lucky and we can do it outdoors, running from the warm pool to the hot tub where the parents usually hang out. But this year, it's inside.

I just have to make sure I don't get distracted. Grandpa's girlfriend, Alicia, is coming over this year with Uncle Wallace and Aunty Jackie. Their son, Michael is a little older than us, and their other son, Chance, is a few years younger and we always love when they come over. Aunty Mac and Aunty Janet are coming with their son, Jacob, who is still pretty little. And Uncle Dick is supposed to show up too and he is a major distraction. Grandpa is bringing Mom and Stosh after they go out and buy swimsuits. Usually Mom says home and works when Grandpa comes over for the party, but this year, we insisted she come.

Phin and I have to keep our focus on the plan. Everything went fine enough yesterday at the zoo, and everyone was pleasant, but by the end, you could tell that Mom was done with all the togetherness. Stosh kept spitting out random facts and Dad kept trying to be nice to him, while tossing out these weird little things that kept making Mom blush. And Grandpa just kept shaking his head and laughing at nothing. It was definitely strange but it seemed to work.

I'm sitting in my favorite blue bathing suit—the sport one that matches my eyes—reading my book on a lounge chair near the pool when Dad walks in with a tray of cheese and crackers. He's dressed in his bright orange board shorts and t-shirt and when he sees me frown at him he frowns back at me from across the pool.

"Why are you giving me that look?" he asks as he puts the platter down on a side table.

I bookmark my page and drop my book on the lounger, sitting up cross legged.

"Don't you have something else you could wear?"

His head jerks back and he makes this face at me that I can't quite place.

"Like what? It's a pool party."

I shrug and grab my ankles, rocking myself back and forth a bit. "I dunno. Maybe something that, you know, shows off your muscles or something."

Dad cringes and points at me. "First, let me just say, my _daughter_ asking me to show off my abs is officially the most horrific thing I have ever had said said to me. And that says a lot because I hang out with your Uncle Dick."

Blushing, I huff and cross my arms and his laugh echoes in the pool room as he walks along the tiled floor towards me.

When he gets to me, he moves my book before sitting at the edge of the lounger. He lets out a long sigh and reaches out to touch my arm.

"Does this have anything to do with wanting us to spend more time around your mother and Piz?"

I ball a little tighter and shrug, averting my eyes from his. 

He sighs again and runs his fingers through his hair. "I was wondering. Can we talk about what you _really_ hoped to achieve with all of this _family togetherness_?"

I shrug again and sigh. "I dunno. I guess I was hoping that she would realize that she should get back together with you and not...him."

Dad covers his face with his palms and groans before quickly regrouping and turning to face me again.

"Gracie, that's not going to happen."

"Why not?" I unball and sit cross legged again, closer to Dad. "She's not happy with him. I mean, she isn't happy or sad she's just...blah." Dad smirks at this and I keep going. "He's boring and a know-it-all and I don't know why she would say yes to him when she could be in love with someone like...well…you!"

Dad's eyes drop and he blushes, and my heart is racing now because I'm so excited and scared at what he's going to say.

"While I appreciate the love behind that statement, I have to reiterate, Gracie, that it won't happen," he says quietly. 

"Why not? Why can't it happen? You obviously care about each other and you care about us and…"

"Gracie, caring about someone doesn't mean that there is romantic love between two people." Dad sighs and I can see the sadness in his eyes.

"But what if there could be something still there and it's hidden and you just need to find out before she marries that...man!"

"Because there isn't, Gracie!" Dad snaps and I jump a bit, my heart rising in my throat.

Reaching over he takes my hand and sighs again, like he's trying to control his anger.

"I didn't mean to raise my voice, sweetheart, but you need to know that it's not going to happen." He takes a sharp breath and squeezes my hand. "Your mother, in fact, hates me. She just hides it well."

"What? How do you know?" I gasp.

Dad looks physically pained and I think he's going to just up and leave but he doesn't. Instead, he pulls his leg up onto the lounger to get closer to me.

"When you guys were little, it was hard for us. We were young and going to school and trying to build a marriage and it was just...rough," Dad says quietly. "Adding to that was the fact that growing up, neither of us had good role models for what a good marriage looked like. Veronica's mom left her family and my dad was...well...just not very nice to my mother or me. Your mom once said she would never get married and yet here we were, just out of high school, and married with kids. It wasn't exactly what she had planned."

Ugh. My stomach hurts already. _Not_ according to plan is not a thing my mom is good at.

"It was during our third year of college when it all really fell apart. You guys were teething and keeping us up all night and we had exams and your mom was worried about moving over the summer —she wanted her marks to be perfect on her transcripts from Hearst because we were poised to transfer to NYU in the fall to complete our undergrad degrees and put down roots while you were both little, so she could eventually go to Columbia for her law degree. We were fighting all the time about the stupidest things like groceries and cleaning the house..." Dad pauses and drops my hand.

"Then I really screwed up. I had my final exam, and I thought your mom was done with hers, so I took off for a night of partying with Uncle Dick, to celebrate surviving the year. Well, somewhere in the bar hopping, I lost my cell phone, ended up passed out on some guy's couch, and didn't make it home the next morning. Unfortunately, I didn't know...or didn't remember...that I was supposed to take care of you guys while your mom had her final exam that morning."

I cringe. Oh God. I don't want to hear what happened next, but I also do. All I can imagine is Mom's head literally exploding with anger.

"When she realized I wasn't showing up, she tried to find someone to watch you both, but couldn't. Grandpa was out of town on a case and your aunty and uncle had exams too. So she took you both to her exam. She got to answer one question before you both started crying and she was asked to leave."

Now I really want to barf. I'm suddenly sorry for everything because the look of pain on Dad's face makes none of this plan worth it.

"I staggered home that afternoon to find her packing. She screamed at me that I had destroyed everything she ever wanted in life and that she hated everything about us. That's when I started yelling at her about how she treated me like a nanny and not a husband, how she criticized everything I did, from the way I fed you to the way I gave you baths and I needed to escape from it all—including her—for one night."

He runs his fingers through his hair, shaking his head as if defeated by someone or something I can't see.

"She stayed with Grandpa for a week and managed to finesse another exam from the professor. I saw you and your brother a couple of times, but it was with Grandpa, not her, around. Then, she called me and told me she wanted to go to New York alone the next week to look for an apartment. I said great, I'll watch the kids while she went and had some time for herself. And that was when she told me, she was taking you both with her. She said she needed _space to think_. I thought she would come back, but she never did. A week after that, she said she was staying there, with you both, and she didn't want me to join her. That she would rather be mother to two children and go to school than take care of two kids and a 'child-like husband' too. That's when I lost my head…"

He swallows and I see the tears in his eyes and I want to hug him but I'm afraid if I do that he'll just fall apart.

"I started yelling at her...well...things that weren't very nice. Things I regret saying to this day. She hung up on me and that was that. A week after, I was served with divorce papers."

My lip is shaking and I'm trying not to cry, but I can't help it and suddenly Dad's big arms are around me, pulling me close to him.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this, Gracie, but you need to know...from the moment you and Phin were born, I always knew how to love you both, but I never figured out how to love your mother. And I've made peace with the fact that she never knew how to love me either. So if Piz knows how to do it, then he deserves her, because I tried my best and failed. I failed her and I failed you and Phin."

"You could never fail me, Daddy. Ever!" I pull away from him and sit on my knees, wiping the tears from my eyes. 

The doorbell rings through the house and Phin hollers down the hallway from the foyer. "I'll get it!!!"

Dad wipes his eyes and stands, offering me his hand and when I grab it, he pulls me to my feet in one quick motion. 

"I love you very much, Gracie, and I'm so grateful for the time we do have together. But can you promise me you're going to lay off this matchmaking nonsense today? Please?"

Pressing my lips together, I nod. "Fine."

He gathers me into a big hug, pulling me off my feet as I press into his chest and I scream, kicking my legs in protest.

"Good. And tell your brother to lay off too."

"Fine!" I gasp and he chuckles, releasing me back onto my feet.

"Just be gentle with your brother when you inevitably tell him about what happened between your mother and I." He kisses my forehead and lowers his voice to a concerned whisper. "He's sensitive to these things which is one of the reasons we haven't talked much about the divorce, until now. He's not as tough as you are."

I give him a serious nod. "I'll be gentle, Daddy. I promise."

"Look who's here!"

We turn around to see Grandpa, Mom, and Stosh standing beside Phin in the arched entryway to the pool room. Mom's mouth is agape as she looks around the big glass room. From here, you can see outside to the patio and the other pool and the hot tub is just out the door, so you can still hang out while people are swimming inside. Sometimes I forget that Mom usually doesn't come past the foyer when she drops us off.

"Wow. This is incredible," Mom says and walks over to a chaise lounge near them and drops her purse on top.

Dad straightens and coughs, plastering on a great smile as he walks around to greet them.

"Thanks. Comes in handy at 2 a.m. when I can't sleep. I just do twenty laps and go back to bed."

Stosh jerks his head towards the windows. "You built two pools?"

"Technically I only built one. The outdoor one was salvaged from when the house burnt down. But I figured an indoor one was more practical when the kids were younger." Dad points to the paper shopping bag in Stosh's hand. "If you want, you can change in any of the guest rooms in the hall you just came down."

"Great. Thanks." Stosh nods to Mom. "Shall we?"

Mom waves her hand and smiles. "You go. I just left on the one I bought when I tried it on in the changing room."

She begins to unbutton her blouse and Piz frowns. He opens his mouth to say something, but Phin grabs his hand and pulls him away before he can.

"Come on! I'll show you to a room!"

"I should change too." Grandpa smiles. "Be right back." And then he disappears too, leaving Mom and Dad alone on the other side of the pool.

I start to walk around toward them and Mom continues to talk to Dad as she undresses, her eyes staying on Dad's as she does.

"Thank you for inviting us. I always take the kids to swim lessons but I rarely join them in the pool."

She pulls off her black silk blouse to reveal a bright aquamarine string bikini top and I come to a stop, in shock. Her bathing suit at home is a sensible black sport Speedo. This is not sensible. At all. In fact, it's downright tiny.

"Um. No problem." Dad coughs and shifts from one foot to another as Mom pops the top button of her jeans. "It'll be nice to have everyone together."

"It will. Usually I go over to Wallace and Jackie's house on my own during the holidays…" She pauses as she shimmies her pants down. They drop to the ground and she steps out of them. She looks up at Dad for a second and smiles before looking down to double knot the string ties on her hip. "...so this is great."

Oh. My. God.

My mother bought a string bikini. And she's wearing it IN FRONT OF MY DAD!

I mean, I'm not a prude. There are girls we always see at the beach in the summer that are parading around in bikinis that I someday hope to wear.

BUT THIS IS MY MOM!

And it’s not that she looks bad. In fact, she looks amazing! She’s always telling us to be proud of who we are and to have confidence in ourselves and the way she’s looking right now, it’s like she has more confidence in her pinky while standing there with barely any clothes on than I’ve ever seen in anyone at any time in my entire freaking life!

Phin strolls back into the room and comes to a screeching stop when he sees Mom, standing in front of Dad, LITERALLY ALMOST NAKED!

I refocus on Dad who seems to not be able to look away from Mom either, his eyes are wide like saucers.

“Glad...you could...come.” He gives his head a shake and dodges past her, then Phin on his way down the hallway. “Gotta get things...ready...be back…”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Mom smirks to herself for a second. Then, she bends down and scoops up her pants, tossing them on the lounger. She catches my eye as she stands and smiles.

“Hey, sweetheart. How’s your day going?”

I’m so confused right now. I thought she hated him? I thought he was mad at her? What happened to everything Dad just said?!!!

“Um. Okay. Nice suit, Mom.” I reply, still kinda in shock. 

Phin just wrinkles his nose at her and walks past on his way to the cheese tray. Apparently he was emotionally unprepared for Mom’s outfit.

“Thanks. My best friend, Lilly, and I used to wear bikinis when we were younger. Guess I'm still a Cali girl at heart.” She looks down at herself and presses her hands to her soft, rounded belly, covering the tiny zig zaggy marks that fade into her pale skin. “I mean, that was before I had twins, but I saw it in the store and it just felt right.” She tosses a glance over her shoulder and chuckles. “I think I shocked your father.”

When she turns back I can see her eyes lit up bright with happiness and the smile on her face is so genuine and warm that my heart does little flips. I can’t help but walk over to her and give her a big hug.

“You look amazing, Mom. Really.”

She kisses my forehead just as Stosh and Grandpa appear back in the doorway. Mom lets go of me and spins around, her arms spread wide and Stosh’s mouth drops open.

“Whatdayathink?” she asks and does a little twirl.

“I think you forgot some of it back at the store.” Grandpa chuckles and walks past us on the way towards Phin.

"I was asking Piz, old man," Mom replies and rolls her eyes.

"You look...wow…" Stosh comes over and wraps his arm around her and plants a kiss on her cheek. "But isn't that a bit too...revealing...you know...with the kids around."

"I LOVE IT!" I pipe up. Looking Stosh up and down, I wrinkle my nose at his blue plaid swim trunks. "Mom taught us never to be ashamed of our bodies. And she looks rocking awesome."

"I never said that she didn't," Stosh states, his hands going on his chubby waist. "I just think that maybe…"

"Woah! Ronniekins!" I look up to see Uncle Dick standing in the doorway in shocking pink trunks and one of his band t-shirts. He shakes his hand in front of his body like he's been burnt. "Looking like one hot-mama! Owww!"

Mom puts her hands on her hips and smirks. "Ah, Dick. Glad to see some people never change."

Uncle Dick walks around us, wrinkles his nose at Mom and clasps his hands together. "Oh, Ronnie. What's it been? Eight years or nine since you hopped on your broom and…"

"Dick!" 

Dad's voice snaps all of us to attention. He walks in with two bowls of chips and veers right to put them on an empty side table near some chairs.

"Play nice," he grumbles and points at his BFF as he walks back to the scene. "Or I'm kicking you out. I don't want you making trouble with the kids around."

Wait? Uncle Dick doesn't like Mom? How did I never pick up on that either?

"Kids!" Uncle Dick flashes a big smile to Phin and me. "What's shaking, my little homies?"

He struts past Mom and comes up to me, pulling me off my feet for a bear hug. "Missed you, Peanut."

"Missed you too, Uncle D."

Phin walks up to Uncle Dick as he sets me down and they fist bump, making an explosion with their hands in the air.

Dad comes up behind him and grasps his shoulders. "Hey. I want you to meet someone." Pointing him back towards Mom, Dad nods. "This is Stosh Piznarski. Veronica's fiance."

Uncle D snorts a loud laugh and frowns. "Seriously?"

"Dude…" 

Dad cringes as Mom stares daggers at Uncle D. Thankfully, she doesn't have her taser on her.

"Nah, man, I'm just yanking your chain." Offering his hand, Uncle D tosses his shaggy blond surfer hair from his eyes. "Dick Casablancas. Nice to meet you."

For a second, Stosh's eyes go wide before he thrusts his hand out to shake Uncle D's.

"You're not Dick Casablancas from 'Citizen Dick' are you?"

An involuntary groan rises from Dad and Mom shakes her head slightly, as if trying to make this moment not happen.

"Yeah! That's me! You like our music?"

"Like it?!" Stosh stammers. "I love it!"

"Oh no," I hear Grandpa mutter behind us.

Now, here's the thing….Uncle Dick started his surf-rock-punk band back in college and the only reason they had any success is because Uncle D is filthy rich. It's widely known that his band, on a regular basis, makes all the yearly "Worst Of" lists—an award he flaunts with pride. Every once in a while, he'll try and play us something and Dad threatens to have him arrested for child endangerment. He stole the name Citizen Dick from a movie called ‘Singles’ by Cameron Crowe, and when Mr. Crowe went to sue Uncle D, he realized that getting royalties from the name was a lost cause, so he dropped the lawsuit and let him keep it.

In case I haven't made myself clear, _no one_ likes his music.

Except apparently, Stosh.

"I...I saw you in New York when I was in college. Your music is so unique it defies any labels," Stosh gushes. "It's like nothing else out there, and has been for some time. I mean, anyone can be the next Dylan or Petty. There is nothing before you like this."

Uncle D puffs up his chest and grins, jerking his thumb at Stosh.

"Hey! Ronnie! This guy's got good taste! Glad you finally settled for a decent one."

Dad bumps the back of Uncle D's head with his palm and Uncle D yelps in mock pain.

"Okay! Decent one since you, bro! Settle down!!"

"You know, I'd love to talk to you about your last album," Stosh says and gestures towards the empty chairs at the other end of the pool.

"Yeah! Sure!" Uncle D says and wraps his arm around Stosh's shoulder as they walk. "Did you know, I used a theremin for the first time on that one?"

As we watch them walk away, Mom steps closer to Dad and shakes her head.

"You won't let him play any music today will you?"

"God no!" Dad laughs. "I don't want the glass in this room to shatter when he starts singing."

Mom snickers, glancing up at Dad as she shakes her head. For a second, they hold each other's gaze before Mom looks away, blushing.

As she starts to walk back to the lounge chair, Dad follows a step.

"Hey, Veronica…"

"Yeah?" She turns and frowns and my heart flutters because they're so close.

He's about to say something and then he stops and glances over at me watching and I hold my breath, just waiting to see what he says.

But then he presses his lips together and takes a step back, bowing slightly as he retreats. "Glad you could make it today."

He doesn't even wait for an answer as he walks past her and away down the hall, his long legs moving him quickly. And for a second, Mom watches before slowly turning to me, a tight smile on her face.

"Why don't we take a dip? Okay?"

She doesn't even wait for my answer, walking quickly to the edge of the pool, raising her arms above her head, and diving in. I see her cut smoothly through the water, her strong legs kicking as she swims underwater to the other side.

And that's when I wish for the ability to read minds. Because clearly, I'm missing something. Something I don't quite understand. Yet.  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Through the glass, I can see Mom and Stosh laughing with Aunty Jackie and Uncle Wallace in the hot tub and I can't help but be disappointed that he's fitting in with my family. Of course, Uncle D thinks he's awesome because he likes his terrible music, and Dad is still doing his best job of being friendly to the guy, and the real problem is my family is just way too nice. 

I managed to sneak off with Phin for a few minutes today and tell him that Dad was on to us and to lay off the plan. He agreed, but only because I promised we would talk about it more, later tonight. I’m not looking forward to telling him what Dad told me about why he and Mom broke up, but maybe talking about it will help me understand it better. Because frankly, I’m still processing it in the back of my head.

All day, I’ve been watching Stosh putting his arm around Mom's waist while they talked to people and every time I saw it, I wanted to push him in the deep end of the pool. The thing is, she doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable about it. She even touched his shoulder a few times when she laughed at something he said.

And then there is Dad. Every time I see him, he’s always looking at Mom, no matter where she is in the room, but he’s barely talked to her. In fact, from what I could see, I think he’s avoided her altogether, preferring the company of Aunty Mac and Aunty Janet today, playing with Joshua, or coming back and forth to refill snacks or set out the pizza when it was delivered. He didn't even come in the pool today — leaving that as territory for Mom to hang out with all of us kids.

I have to admit that I've been a bit distracted, though, so I could have missed something between Mom and Dad. I kinda have a crush on Michael, and today, every time we've been in the pool together, my stomach keeps doing flip-flops, which I know is dumb because he's almost like family, but like Mom once said, hormones are a strange thing. Even now, while we splash around with the kick-boards near the diving board, I'm trying not to look directly into his eyes. And he just keeps smiling and laughing and my insides kind of gurgle a bit every time.

Dad and Uncle D wave at me from the edge of the pool. They just finished setting up the volleyball net across the middle of the pool for our annual game. Actually "game" is the wrong word. Free-for-all-gang-up on Dad and Uncle D is more what it is. Every year, they stay in the deep end and all us kids (and some grown-ups) pummel them with beach balls and they slap them back to us while we scream and dodge them. When we were little, it wasn't very aggressive, but as Michael got older, he and Uncle Wallace started to go on the attack. Now it's an all-out war.

"Phin! Gracie! Assemble your side! I'm going to grab the inflated beach balls from the guest room."

Dad smirks in that same mischievous way that Phin sometimes smiles and nods at us, and I wonder what he's up to as he leaves. Swimming under the net, I paddle to the shallow end, smiling at Aunty Mac and Aunty Janet sitting near the edge of the pool with Jacob.

"You guys joining us this year?"

Aunty Mac looks down at Jacob, playing with some boats in the water, and laughs. "No. We'll keep a safe distance this year."

"Yeah. Good call." I laugh and keep walking to the outside doors. I stick my head outside and catch Uncle Wallace's eye. "Hey! Dad's ready to have his butt kicked in volleyball."

Uncle Wallace claps his hands and rubs them together. "Yes! I wait for this moment all year."

"What moment?" Stosh asks as Wallace excitedly climbs out of the hot tub with Aunty Jackie close behind.

"It's the grand finale to our day," I state. "We all get in the pool and play a vicious game of volleyball. Everyone against Dad and Uncle D."

Mom frowns as she climbs out of the hot tub. "I don't like the sound of that."

I can't help but roll my eyes, and Uncle Wallace chuckles at me as he passes by.

"Mommmm. It's fine. Usually, it's Uncle D who gets the most hurt because we all gang up on him. Even Dad turns on him, eventually."

"Well…" Mom smirks as she heads inside. "That I can get behind."

Stosh follows her in and they walk to the edge of the shallow end, looking at all the kids (and Uncle Wallace) in the water, anxiously awaiting Dad's return.

“You should join us,” I say to Stosh as he comes to stand beside Mom.

“Oh, I don’t know….”

“Come on, Piz! Join us!” Uncle D calls out. “But stay on the kids’ side. It’ll be safer.”

For a second, he balks and Mom touches his arm. “Go and have fun.”

Stosh shrugs and gives her a quick peck on the cheek, smiling. “Why not. Sure, I’m in.”

As he walks down the steps to the shallow end, Uncle Wallace greets him with a slap on the back and points him in the direction of his position in the line up. I see Aunty Jackie take up her position as official “ball catcher” on the side of the pool closest to the hallway and she waves at Michael and Chance from the edge.

"You joining our team, Mom?" 

Mom looks over at me, then down at her swimsuit and chuckles.

"Let me just say that, from experience, I know, string bikinis and volleyball don't mix." I frown and she laughs, dropping her hand on my shoulder. "But you have fun."

"All right! Are we ready?" Dad's voice booms from the entryway.

When I see him, I gasp. Apparently, he decided to take my advice from this morning, because he's standing there in very, very, VERY small, tight, blue swim trunks. He looks like one of those chiseled marble statues we see when we go to the art gallery, and he’s smirking at me and Mom like he has the best secret in the world. He has a mesh sack filled with colorful inflated beach balls slung over his shoulder. I look up at Mom to see her mouth drop open slightly, and she's breathing so hard that I can hear it.

Wait? Did he do this because I suggested it, or is this because Mom showed up in her little bikini? Once again, time seems to stop as I look between my parents in confusion. What the heck were they doing????

"You'd better jump in, Gracie, or you're going to miss out." Dad laughs and drops the huge bag in front of himself.

"Okay….Dad…" I call back and take one last look at Mom before shuffling across the wet tiles to the pool. 

As I walk down the stairs into the water, Dad starts flinging, hard, over-inflated rainbow-coloured balls at us and Chance lets out a scream of excitement. He must have over twenty balls in there and if our other games weren’t anarchy before, the sheer number of projectiles is going to make it war games. I get into position in front of the net just as he tosses the last one in and flings the bag to the side. 

Looking up, Dad points over at Mom. “Veronica! You take that side of the pool, across from Jackie. If any balls come out, toss them back in.”

“Okay!” Mom calls as she scurries into position, a huge smile on her face.

"Just like high school, Ronnie!" Uncle D laughs. "A whole bunch of balls flying at your face, for old times’ sake."

I...I don't know what that means but Mom throws Uncle D a look of pure hatred as he laughs even louder.

Dad just watches her move as she places herself near the very edge by the grown-up end of the pool, before he yells and gestures at Uncle D. “Out of the way!”

With that, Dad launches himself across the tiles and Uncle D moves just in time as Dad cannon-balls straight into the middle of the deep end. We all scream as the giant splash hits us, but Mom’s scream is the loudest from the side of the pool.

“Every year!” Phin laughs near me and we wipe our faces in time to see Dad surface, a giant grin on his face.

I grab a beach ball as it floats to me in anticipation of the start and see Mom move back slightly from the edge, laughing as she watches Dad shake himself like a dog.

He grabs a beach ball and lifts it above his head and bellows "GO!" and suddenly I can't think, I can just hit and toss and throw and splash and laugh and scream and get whacked with a hard ball and laugh and scream more and the whole room is just filled with fun and water and it's the happiest day again. There are arms and legs flying and Michael lands right in front of me in the water and my heart skips and I laugh and hit another ball at Uncle D over the net and he hits it back, hard, and I duck and it whips past me and I hear a scream.

We all stop to see Stosh holding his nose, cringing and groaning. 

"Stop!" Dad yells and everyone pauses as Mom scurries over.

"Are you okay?" she calls to him and he nods.

When he takes his hand from his nose, there's some blood and I feel gross at the sight.

"Come on, Piz," Grandpa says from the steps. "I'm the official medic for this game. Let's go get you some tissues and check if it's broken."

Mom glances at me, and then Dad, and then back at Stosh, as if she doesn't know what to do, but then begins to follow him and Grandpa. But Grandpa waves her back.

"You stay with the family. Have fun. I'll take care of him."

Stopping, Mom looks down at her bikini and blushes. "Not really the suit for this…"

"Come on, Mom," Phin calls out. "If you don't join us, then Dad and Uncle D will kick our butts."

And that's when Mom's eyes light up with glee. See, the thing is, she's competitive. VERY competitive. Like, one year, there was a challenge at school to see which family could sell the most bake sale cookies at Parent Teacher night and she stayed up ALL NIGHT making her secret recipe snickerdoodles so our family could win.

Walking down the steps, her eyes narrow right at Dad and he smirks at her. "You think you can best me, Mars?"

She grabs a ball in the water and walks right to the opposite side of the net from Dad and scowls. "Damn straight I will, Echolls."

And the way they look at each other….

Oh... 

Wow...

With that, Mom tosses the ball in the air and spikes it directly at Dad and he blocks it, sending it flying at Uncle D who spikes it back at us.

"GAME ON!" Uncle D proclaims and the assault of beach balls begins again.

And it's all a blur again as the balls hit me and I dodge and I hit some back and there's screaming and Chance laughing and Uncle Wallace grunting from being hit, and Aunty Jackie throws balls to us from the sidelines and Aunty Janet jumps into the pool near me, laughing, and now we have even more help but it doesn't matter because Dad and Uncle D are just pummeling us because they're so much bigger and faster and stronger than us all.

"Aaaaaaggghhhhhh!"

Everything stops when Mom's scream echos and I spin to look at her, in the shallow end up to her neck, her arms wrapped around herself and her cheeks flushed redder than I've ever seen them and I don't get it, but Dad and Uncle Dick are gawking at her until Dad smiles a huge grin and says…

"Nice beach balls, Veronica."

Wait? What does that mean????

And that's when they erupt with laughter. Even Uncle Wallace and Aunty Jackie start laughing as Mom blushes more and wriggles around under the water and I finally realize….

...oh my God….

...Mom lost her bikini top!!!

I run through the water to her and stand in front, blocking Dad and Uncle D's view and she clenches her teeth as she adjusts everything just right.

"Thanks, sweetheart," she mutters as she stands, all put together again.

Quickly grabbing an actual beach ball near us, she throws it in the air and spikes it at Dad, hard, and in the distraction of him and Uncle D laughing and high fiving she hits him in the side of the face. Hard. So hard that when he turns, one half of his face is red. But he doesn't seem to care because he smiles at her in this way that makes him look like a devil and points at her.

"Oh, you're making something of this?"

"Oh yeah, I am!" she snarks and I step aside as Dad picks up the ball, raises it over his head…

"Veronica!" Grandpa calls from the doorway, gesturing and we all stop watching Dad to look at him. "Piz would like to go."

Uuggggghhhhh. 

Noooooooooo!

Mom frowns for a second and I see her raise her hand and touch her tiny engagement ring. With a nod to him, she turns to me and opens her arms and I walk into them, and she gives me a kiss on the forehead. Phin comes over and she gives him a quick hug and a kiss too.

"Do you  _ have _ to go?" Phin asks quietly and she nods.

"I should. I'll see you tomorrow at Christmas dinner, okay?"

Phin nods sadly and he reaches under the water to take my hand as we watch her say her goodbyes quickly, while wading out of the water towards Grandpa.

My heart hurts so badly that I want to cry. To heck with Stosh and his nose. To heck with him needing to go home. Why did he have to come into our lives anyway when it was clear that Mom and Dad still like to be around each other, and have fun together, and they should be the ones getting married, not her and Stosh. I hate him so much and I hate that Mom wanted to bring his stupid face here and break Dad's heart.

She says something to Grandpa and then goes over to gather her things. Finally looking at Dad, she looks sad.

"Thank you for the lovely day, Logan," she says in a voice like she's thanking a waiter for more water. "It was fun."

"Thanks for coming by, Veronica," he replies. "I know the kids enjoyed it."

Then something crazy happens. For a second it looks like Mom may cry. But she doesn't. Instead she turns and practically runs away, holding her clothes close to her body. Grandpa turns and walks after her and Alicia follows him.

And Dad just stares at her the way he looks at us when we leave, like he was losing us forever. 

Uncle D comes up behind him and grabs his shoulders and whispers something to him and Dad smirks, turns around and smacks Uncle D playfully.

"Shut up." He chuckles and walks back to the middle of the pool, grabbing a ball as he moves. 

"Game on!" 

Uncle D yells and suddenly I can't think about anything anymore as a beach ball whips towards me. 

And it's all a blur again.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

I lay in the dark, thinking about the pool party today. How much fun we all had playing volleyball in the pool. How much taller and cuter Michael is this year. How adorable Grandpa and Alicia are together. How Mom nearly cried when she left.

There’s the inevitable soft knocking on my door before Phin just lets himself in and I sit up and turn on my side-table light. The one thing Dad is strict on is having us in bed at a decent time, thanks to years of experience with jet-lagged kids. But he tends to overlook the fact that Phin and I will stay up for at least an hour after, talking together. The good thing about being a twin is that I was born with my best friend.

Phin crawls up the bed, in his Christmas red plaid pajamas and sits cross-legged near me.

“So, are you gonna tell me why we ditched the plan today?”

“Because Dad asked me to.” I sigh. “He knows.”

“Really? How?”

“I think his first clue was the fact that we laid on the one big happy family pitch a little too thick.” I roll my eyes and cross my arms.

“Yeah, but, it must have worked because look how Mom dressed to go swimming."

"And look at how DAD dressed to play volleyball." I giggle.

Smacking his forehead with his palm, Phin shakes his head. "Ugh. She could have at least warned us she was showing up in her underwear. That was strange."

“She just wanted to look good! What's wrong with that?”

“Well, she did. I mean, she’s only 29 years old so like, it’s not like a grandma in a thong or anything.”

I stick out my tongue and make a gagging sound and Phin laughs at me. I mean, he’s been to the beach as much as I have, and we’ve seen a lot of wacky bathing suits on a lot of strange people. 

"Do you think she bought that suit so she could impress Dad?"

Phin shrugs. "I mean, I think so. It didn't really seem like the kind of thing Piz would _approve_ of, you know?"

"True. And she didn't change into it in one of the bedrooms and just show up in it. It's like...she used it as an excuse to take off her clothes...in front of Dad!"

We both cringe. I mean, while Mom has always been really protective of what we watch on TV, Dad's standards are a little more...relaxed. Last year, we watched _Love, Actually_ at Christmas and the first scene has a whole bunch of sex (which we later promised we would never, ever tell Mom he accidentally showed us) so we know that the quickest way to sex, is being naked. 

The thing is, Mom told us about sex when we were both seven years old, so we know how we were born and lord knows Stella talks incessantly about what her _first time_ will be like, thanks to the romance novels she steals from her much older sister. And today, Mom and Dad were both almost completely naked together. On purpose.

“But then, why did she and Dad avoid each other, like, almost the entire time she was here? If she did that _for_ him, then why not actually try and be around him, if she wanted his attention?”

Phin shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe it’s like Annie flicking me in the back of the head in math class all the time. I mean, I know she likes me, but it ends up just making me mad. And then when I confront her, she just giggles and walks away.”

“That actually sounds about right.” I smirk. “But it doesn’t line up with what Dad told me just before all this happened.”

“Why? What did he tell you?”

I pause and wrinkle my nose, trying to gather myself to break the news to him.

“Dad says that Mom hates him, but she’s very good at hiding it.”

Phin’s mouth drops open for a second before he clamps it shut, and it twitches just like Dad’s as he looks at me with hard eyes.

“That’s not true. It can’t be.”

"Look, Dad finally told me about why they broke up." With a sigh, I lean forward and take my brother’s hand. "Dad said that when we were little he screwed up in a big way. He got drunk and forgot he needed to take care of us and Mom missed an important exam in college. She freaked out on him and they argued and she left with us. Then she decided to go to New York with us alone because she didn’t think Dad was mature enough to be, well, a dad or a husband."

I pause and gauge how Phin is taking this, but he just sits there in silence so I continue.

"I guess Dad was so upset that when she called to tell him that she was staying with us in New York without him, he said some really not nice things to her. He didn't tell me what he said, but whatever it was, she decided to divorce him after that."

Phin's face scrunches like he's trying not to cry and to his credit, he holds off.

"He also said that he never knew _how_ to love Mom and that if Stosh knew how, then he deserves to marry her."

"I...I don't believe it," Phin mutters and pulls his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his legs. "She can't hate him."

"What if it's true though? What if that's the reason they never see each other, except at Christmas?" I sigh. "They only talk through email about us, and up until this year, they've been nice to each other in front of us, but who knows…"

"They can't hate each other!" Phin erupts and my stomach flips.

"Phin! Keep it down or Dad's going to come in!" I hiss.

"Sorry. But I don't believe you." He huffs and lowers his voice. "If she hated him, then we wouldn't see him at all, like Stephen's parents. His mom has 100% custody and he literally never, ever, sees his dad EVER! Mom didn't do that so it's not true."

I frown and look at the door, hoping Dad didn't hear Phin's outburst.

"Okay, you may have a point," I grumble. "But if she loved him, then why did she leave and take us?"

Phin shrugs. "If Dad loved her, why didn't he come after her?"

My eyes go wide. I never even thought to ask that. I was just so shocked by the story, that I never bothered. Our whole lives, our parents have been kind of matter-of-fact about our family. They weren't together. It was an absolute. A lot of our friends had parents who were divorced, so it wasn't really questioned, it just _was_. So all of this is new to process.

"I...I don't know?"

Pressing his head to his knees, Phin sighs and rocks slightly before looking back up at me with a pained expression. 

"Maybe _he_ doesn't love _her_."

"What?!" I gasp. "How could you say that?"

Phin shrugs and continues to rock a bit. "She took us away from him. Not gonna lie, knowing she did it like this makes me kinda mad at her right now. Imagine how Dad felt?"

I remembered what Dad had said. _That's when I lost my head…_

"I...I never thought of it like that."

We're silent for a minute and I can see the brooding behind Phin's eyes. 

"What if she just wants to be with Piz because she's lonely?" Phin whispers. 

"But she has us."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Yeah. But not all the time. And it’s not the same, you know. He's a grown-up for her to talk to and do stuff with..."

I wrinkle my nose at the thought of Mom and Stosh on a date. The dinner we had with them when she introduced us was awkward enough. They were both all nervous and she got giggly after two glasses of wine. And then he kissed her good night in front of us and just….blah…

"I mean, I guess."

"Then what's wrong with that?"

"Phin! What's wrong with you?"

"Whatdayamean? I'm just saying that if she's happy then maybe we were wrong."

"We weren't wrong!" I snap. "I know that she must love Dad and he must love her!"

"No you don't!" he yells and scoots to the end of the bed. "You don't know that!"

"They have to! Because if they don't love each other than how could they love us?" 

I'm breathing heavy, and Phin is giving me a look of shock and horror, and that's when I hear the little knock on the door.

It creaks as it opens and Dad peeks inside, eyes wide.

"Everything okay in here?"

Phin tosses me a _look_ and storms to the door, yanking it open the rest of the way and stomping past Dad on his way back to his room. There are heavy footsteps and I hear the door slam.

Dad drags his palm over his stubbly face and groans.

"I take it you talked to your brother?"

I nod and he gestures to me to come with him so I drag myself out from under the covers and shuffle towards him, my eyes avoiding his.

"Come on. Let's clear things up once and for all."

Dad takes my hand and we walk over to Phin's door. He knocks and waits until Phin mumbles something like come in before opening it.

Phin is just a lump under his blue striped blanket and Dad walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, trying carefully not to sit on Phin's feet as he does. He gestures for me to sit too, and I choose to sit a little closer to his pillows.

"Phin? What's wrong?"

"Everything." He sniffles from under the covers and Dad signs.

"Well, when I passed by the door, I heard someone question very loudly my love for you both. And your mother's for that matter. Both of which are false."

My embarrassment that Dad heard me runs hot over my entire body. Phin pokes his head out from under the covers, but says nothing.

"No matter what happens between your mother and me, I never ever want either of you thinking we don't love you. Or that we didn't want you, because trust me, we may have been scared out of our minds when we found out your mother was pregnant, but never, ever did we consider ending her pregnancy. You were very wanted and very loved from the moment we found out. And even more so when we found out we were having twins."

"Really?"

Phin slides up a bit on his pillow, wide eyed like he's five years old again and Dad's reading us a book before bed.

"Yes. Really. Again, once we got over the shock, we went out and bought tiny little matching onesies that said Thing One and Thing Two." Dad holds his hands close together like he's remembering the size. "And we went back to the furniture store and bought a matching crib to the one we already had and another bassinet and high chair. And we put the sonogram on our fridge and your mother would touch it every time she went for a snack...which was frequently."

He's smiling now, a great big grin, and it's like he's radiating warmth like the sun.

"And in those first few days after you were born, we used to just stare at you both for hours and pick out different features and match them to each other. Like, you both had her eyes, but my mouth and nose." He wrinkles his nose up and his whole face squooshes and we laugh.

But when the laughing subsides, Phin frowns again and asks the question that I most want to know, but haven't been able to ask yet.

"You love us, but did you love Mom?"

Dad closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, puckering his lips as he exhales and looks at us both.

"I loved your Mom so much. So very, very much."

My heart aches and I crawl over to Dad and put my hand on his arm. 

"Do you still? Love her, I mean."

I see tears glistening on Dad's lashes and he blinks them away.

"After everything that's happened between us, and everything said and done, I shouldn't…" He sighs and shakes his head. "But I still do. I think I'll love Veronica forever."

He takes my hand and kisses it and then sighs. "But that doesn't mean we should be together. It doesn't mean that your mother feels the same. It doesn't mean that the problems between us don't still exist."

Dad drops my hand and reaches out to Phin and he takes it, letting Dad peel him out of his blanket cocoon and pull him into a giant hug.

"You two are the greatest loves of my life and being your father has been the best job I've ever had."

I hear Phin sniffle and Dad closes his eyes and begins to rock him slowly, like he used to when we were young.

"Your mother deserves to be happy with whomever she chooses. And in this case, she chose Piz…" Dad opens his eyes and kisses the side of Phin's head. "If she wants to walk down the aisle to Citizen Dick's Greatest Hits, so be it."

I spit when I laugh and Phin starts to laugh too as Dad smiles at us.

"Maybe Uncle D will sing live at the wedding?" Phin says and pulls away from Dad, wiping his eyes.

Dad laughs and rubs the back of his neck, shaking his head. 

"I don't even want to imagine what that would sound like."

I think of Uncle D at the front of a big church, singing with all his might as Mom walks down the aisle with Stosh and I cringe for sooooo many reasons. So do Dad and Phin.

"Look, bottom line, you two…" Dad points at us, serious again. "No interference. This could be our new normal from now on at Christmas and I want to make sure we start things off on the right foot, okay?"

"Fine," we both mutter in unison, and Dad chuckles and stands.

"Good. Then it's time for bed." 

He walks over to the head of Phin's bed and I scoot off so he can tuck Phin in again. When Phin is all secure, he leans in and whispers something to him and kisses his head and Phin nods at him, sadly, so Dad gives him another kiss before walking over to me.

"Good night, Phineas," he says and turns out the light. "I love you, always."

"I love you too, Dad," Phin says in the darkness, and I walk into the hallway and wait for Dad to come out and close the door.

It's only a few steps to my room, but Dad still reaches for my hand while he walks me back and pulls back the covers so I can climb in. He tucks me in and kisses my cheek and as he turns out the lamp on my side table, I get my nerve to ask him one last thing.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Gracie?"

"Do you think Mom wore that bikini for _you_?"

I hear his breath hiccup in the dark and I see his teeth slowly emerge in a smile.

"Yeah. I do."

"Why?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Because once upon a time, Lilly used to torture us boys by wearing tiny bikinis. But never your Mom. She always wore more practical suits, until one day, she came out in the most beautiful turquoise bikini I had ever seen, bought by Lilly for her to wear." He stops and a wobbly smile appears on his face. "And I spent the rest of the day avoiding being around her."

"What? Why?"

"Because, I was worried I would give away how much I liked her, in some crazy teenage, hormone-induced way." Dad laughs. "And at the time, my best friend, Duncan wanted to date her so badly. And Bro-Code is, you never steal the girl your best friend is interested in."

"Did you want to steal her?"

"Oh yeah. Badly."

My heart is beating so fast and all I can imagine is Dad being like the hero, Westley, in _The Princess Bride,_ and just riding off with my Buttercup Mom on horseback into the sunset. 

"Stosh isn't your best friend though, right?"

Dad laughs and shakes his head as he walks away from me towards the door. "No. He's not. But I'm not doing that to _him_ either."

"Dad!" I call out and he stops in the doorway so I can see just the black shadow of him.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you change into the blue swim trunks?"

He pauses and then chuckles. "Fair play."

My face scrunches. I don't know what that means? Does it mean he did it to shock her too? Or so he could show off? Or something else?

"Good night, Gracie. I love you, always."

"Good night, Dad. I love you too."

When the door closes, I roll onto my back and stare up into the dark. Dad's words roll around in my head and Mom's actions do too. 

For a while, I can't get to sleep, thinking about it all, but then my brain lands on a thought about Michael, and if he's seen _The Princess Bride_ , and whether we should have him over to watch it, and I decide to think about him instead because it's so much easier than thinking about anything else right now.


	7. Chapter 7

This is the worst car ride since Stosh first drove us to Dad’s house. Even though Dad tried really hard to make today fun, you could just tell that there was something up with him. Phin too. Uncle D came over and we all went dirt biking along the paths in the woods behind the mansions, which usually makes everyone happy, but you could totally tell that our discussion last night was lodged in Phin’s brain. Whenever we stopped, he would immediately go to Dad’s side, and Dad spent a lot of time leaning over and whispering things to him. At one point, they went off on their own to throw rocks off a cliff into the ocean while Uncle D and I climbed a very gnarly tree. Then, when we got home, Dad left us with Uncle D to run an errand, which must have been important because he NEVER leaves Uncle D in charge of us. He once said Uncle D could’t take care of himself most days, there was no way he could be trusted with twins.

And now we’re driving in complete and total silence to Grandpa’s house and it just feels super awkward and terrible. Phin has his arms crossed and he won’t look at me, and Dad keeps checking on us in the rear view mirror like we’re babies and is super silent too. He changed three times before he decided to just wear his Christmas green waffle shirt and even then, I had to tell him we would be late and to just go with it.

Dad pulls up in front of the house, turns off the engine and looks at us, forcing a smile. 

“Now, both of you, I want you to be _kind_ tonight. Piz is going to be your step-dad eventually. I want you to show him the intelligent, loving children that I know you to be.” He turns to look at Phin directly. “I know you’re still processing everything we talked about and that it’s hard, but please, I want you to help make this a happy evening. We only get one night a year to celebrate something, all together. I want to make sure it remains a happy memory for the next year. Okay?”

Phin’s jaw twitches and he nods. “Okay, Dad.”

“Okay, Dad,” I agree.

With that, he unlocks the back doors to the Range Rover and we pile out onto the sidewalk while he walks around to the trunk. We wait as he retrieves two bags and let him lead us up the walk to Grandpa’s front door. He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath, like he’s steadying himself before he rings the bell. Mom must have been watching for us because a split second later, she opens it, a huge smile on her face. She's wearing a gorgeous red wrap dress and her hair done up in a high bun and the necklace that Lilly gave her around her neck, and she looks so beautiful that I kinda wish Dad would just sweep her off her feet and kiss her right there, like in some old movie.

“Merry Christmas! We were starting to worry.” 

She opens her arms wide in anticipation of a hug from us and Dad steps back, letting us get past. And for the first time in my life, I suddenly don’t want to. In fact, now knowing what I know about her and Dad, and how messed up Phin is over it, and how sad Dad is inside, I don’t really want to be anywhere near anyone right now and could easily run right back out that door. Phin must feel the same way because he’s frozen too. 

Mom looks between us, puzzled. But then Dad’s words, telling me to be _kind,_ remind my feet to move and I hug her quickly before stepping back and taking off my coat while Phin does the same. 

“Sorry we're a bit later than we planned. Had some problems getting out the door tonight.” Dad closes the front door and hands Mom the bags. “I realized that the cake I normally order may not be enough, with Piz joining us this year, so I ran out to Amy’s Ice Cream and supplemented the dessert.”

“Amy’s? Really?”

Juggling the bags a bit, Mom manages to open the one with the ice cream and pauses, a wobbly smile spreading on her face.

“I...I chose some sure bets…” he stammers and avoids Mom’s eyes.

“What flavours did he get, Mom?” Phin asks and comes to stand closer to her, peering in the bag.

“Pistachio Chunk, Rocky Road, and Turtle,” Mom replies like she’s sharing a secret and she smiles softly at us. “I used to send your Dad out for them when I was pregnant with you both. And instead of just one container he would bring me back half the store.” She sighs and her eyes get a little teary. " _For our babies_."

There’s an awkward silence and Mom looks up at Dad and then quickly looks away. When she talks about being pregnant with us, she rarely mentions Dad, usually focusing on us. But if they were both in love when they were pregnant with us, why wouldn’t she talk about it? I just don’t get it.

“The nuts in them are protein. The dairy is calcium. It’s the reason why you both turned out so healthy. Your mom sent me out for a supply every couple of days for months,” Dad explains with a smile. “I also got French Vanilla today, in case anyone wanted any with their cake. Although I personally feel like that would be a crime against that raspberry torte.”

“Oh! Wow! You got the raspberry one again?” Mom gasps with joy and her eyes roll back a bit. “It was _incredible_ last year.”

Chuckling, Dad turns towards the coat rack and pulls off his jacket. “I remembered how much you liked it so I asked the bakery to do a special order. Their Christmas torte this year is a orange-chocolate ganache which didn't sound as delicious as the raspberry one.”

Every year, Dad orders a special cake from a tiny bakery our Grandma Lynn used to use for her parties. The cakes aren’t big, but they taste amazing. And every year, we all watch Mom take the first bite and quite literally melt in her seat from the yumminess. Even though we all usually have only one piece, because it's so decadent, Mom has been known to lick the icing off the box with her finger afterwards, and apparently she eats the leftovers for breakfast on Christmas Day. 

“Well, this is great. Thank you for thinking of it.”

And right there, the completely genuine smile that Dad gives her makes my heart just melt.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for helping to make everything else.”

She opens her mouth to respond and Grandpa comes through the swinging door from the dining room wearing his “Kiss the Cook” apron.

“You’re all just in time! I carved the turkey and Piz is just transferring the candied yams he made to the serving dish.” Grandpa claps his hands together and rubs them with happiness. “Let’s eat!”

Mom gives Dad one last smile before she follows Grandpa through the door and Dad grabs it, letting Phin and I go through after her. We enter the dining room just as Stosh comes through the doorway from the kitchen and I stop in shock at the sight of him.

“Hey everyone! Merry Christmas!” he says and I try not to cringe as I look at his bruised face.

His nose is bright purple and a little puffy and dark circles of bruises are under his eyes and one eye has a broken blood vessel and he looks pretty disgusting to say the least. And he really shouldn't have worn a blue Polo shirt because it really calls attention to the fact that his face is the same colour.

Stosh puts the yams on the table and stands next to Mom, grinning, and I wonder if his face hurts as much as it looks like it hurts. 

“Heeeeyyyy Piz…” Dad walks around me and offers him his hand. “Merry Christmas to you. And I guess an ‘I’m sorry’ is in order too. Dick sometimes forgets that we're playing with kids and spikes it a bit too hard.”

“This?” Stosh points to his face and then reaches to shake Dad’s hand and chuckles. “ _Merely a flesh wound_. It’s fine. You and Dick took a few hard smacks to the head too.”

“True. But maybe inflating the balls with the tire compressor was overkill in hindsight.” Dad rubs the back of his neck and cringes.

“Whose idea was the compressor? Yours or Dick’s?” Mom snorts.

Dad wrinkles his nose and cringes. “Can’t really say. It was kind of a joint idea when we got sick of blowing them up ourselves. Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Mom rolls her eyes and sighs. “ _It seemed like a good idea at the time_...is going to be on Dick’s gravestone.”

Phin and I giggle and I walk around the table to stand next to Mom. That’s when I realize that Stosh is edging closer and closer to her. Next to her. Behind my chair!

Now, Grandpa's table is a big rectangle. Grandpa sits at the head, Mom and I sit on one side, Dad and Phin sit on the other side and no one sits at the other head. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!

Clearing his throat, Grandpa looks around at all of us.

"It would seem that we may need to change our seating arrangements this year." He gestures towards the other end of the table. "Logan, you have the longest legs here. Why don't you sit at the head so you're not kicking the table supports this year."

"Thank you, Keith." Dad nods and sits down. “And my ankles thank you too.”

Quick as a flash, I steal back my chair by sitting down in it before Stosh can, not only saving Dad from sitting next to Stosh but also reclaiming my position. Phin drops into the chair next to Dad and we all look at Mom and Stosh to choose their seats. Which isn’t much of a choice because there are only two chairs left, on either side of Grandpa.

“I guess I’ll sit across from you then,” Stosh mumbles and walks around us to get to the chair next to Phin.

When Stosh sits down, Phin glares at me and I smile. At least I don’t have to sit next to Stosh and his cheap cologne and his gross face. Which was gross to begin with, but now...ugh.

“A toast,” Grandpa says, and raises his water glass.

We all raise our water and smile at each other. This is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. 

“A toast to my wonderful family, gathered all together tonight. I look forward to this night all year, when I can have my daughter…” He raises his glass again to Mom. “...and my _son_ …” he raises his glass to Dad. “...here with me and their beautiful, smart, talented children.”

I look over at Dad to see his jaw twitch. Grandpa’s toasts are usually nice. This year's is downright painfully wonderful.

“Family is not just an important thing...it’s the _only_ thing and having you all here during the holidays fills this old man’s heart with enough love for ten men.” 

Are those some tears in Grandpa’s eyes?

“And now, we’ll be adding another member this year.” He raises his glass and nods to Stosh. “Piz, welcome to our family. I hope that you and Veronica have many happy years together.”

I don’t know why, but I have this weird feeling like Grandpa just said something that was supposed to sound happy but ended up sounding more...defeated. Maybe it’s just me because when I look at Piz, he’s grinning from ear to ear and now I'm wondering if it hurts for him to do that with his smushed face and all?

“Thank you, Keith. I’m pleased to be a part of this family, especially during the holidays.”

Ugh. Barf. Thankfully, I know enough to bite my tongue and check my face but, ugh, can’t we return the _gift of Stosh_ this year?? 

“Well then, to our ever-growing family.” Grandpa raises his glass. “Cheers all!”

I take a sip of water and as I do, the thought of an ever growing family rolls around in my head and oh my God, what if Stosh and Mom get married and have a BABY?

My water comes flying out of my mouth as I choke and Dad starts patting me on the back and so does Mom and their combined thwacking makes me cough more.

“Stop!” I gasp! “I’m fine!”

They both stop and pull back but Mom places her hand on my shoulder, just in case and watches as I catch my breath.

“Just a bit of water. You'll be fine, Gracie. Now let’s eat,” Grandpa states, already reaching for the turkey. “I’ve been cooking this thing all day and I want to know what it tastes like.”

Everything begins to return to normal as we pass around the dishes. The candied yams come past me and when I don’t take some, Mom gives me a look and scoops a spoonful onto my plate before taking the casserole dish from my spot. For a while, there’s silence as we all decided what to fill up on. Dad is all turkey and potatoes and green beans. Mom is a big helping of everything. I prefer just turkey and potatoes but Mom makes me put everything on my plate. And Phin always has extra turkey skin that Grandpa leaves for him on the side of the plate. Because my brother is gross like that.

“So! What did you guys do today?” Mom asks as she begins to dig into her meal.

“Dirt biking with Dad and Uncle D. It was fun." Phin replies then takes a large bite of food so he can’t talk anymore. 

“I climbed the coolest tree. It was off the beaten track a bit, but a totally wicked find!” I add.

“And what are the plans for tomorrow?”

I look up at Dad and he smiles back at me. “Oh, the usual,” he says. “Wake up at 5 a.m. Open whatever it is Santa gave us. Make pancakes and chill out watching movies and playing with all our toys. We make it a really relaxed, fun day.”

Yeah. Santa. I look at Phin and he looks at me in that way where we just know not to say anything. See, we haven't believed in Santa since we caught Dad and Uncle D setting up the Victorian Doll house he bought me when we were 8 years old. They didn't see us, so the next morning, we had to _act_ really surprised. When we got home, Phin and I figured we would keep acting surprised as long as we could, just to make Dad happy, because he loves our Santa mornings so much. He told us that a few times, when he was little, Santa forgot to visit his house, so he makes sure we are extra festive so we don't get missed. We kinda figured that for years, he pretended there was a Santa Claus for us, now we do it for him.

“Oh, so do you guys want us to join you then or…?"

Dad clears his throat and takes a sip of water, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. 

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, I think we need a break from the family-togetherness thing.” Dad says, shifting in his seat. “See, the thing is that while it’s been great having you guys around, this is the only chance I’ll get to see the kids until the summer and I’d like to spend the next few days with them, alone.”

My guts hurt. Like sharp stabbing hurt. If there was ever a chance for the plan to happen, it just completely got tossed out the window by Dad.

When I look over at Mom, she seems stunned for a second but recovers, forcing a smile.

“Yes, of course. I mean, technically it is _your_ time so whatever you want, Logan.”

Mom’s eyes look down at her plate, sadly, and I wonder if she’s lost her appetite like I have, too.

“But...you _are_ their mother…” Stosh begins and I look over at him as he pushes his shoulders back and looks Dad in the eye. “So if you want to see them then we should be able…”

I hear Dad chuckle this deep, deep chuckle that isn’t actually funny and I turn to him and a chill runs through me because the way he’s looking at Stosh, I think he may punch him.

“Piz. Let’s get one thing straight…" Dad's voice is soft and controlled in this kinda freaky way. "Veronica gets the kids for Thanksgiving and their birthday. She opens the door for the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny all the time. Hell, she even gets part of Christmas like tonight. And for one day of the year, I get to welcome Santa into my home to visit my children. One. Day.” He taps the table hard with his index finger and my water glass rattles. “And I’m going to take my one day and make the most of it. That all right with you?”

I can almost hear Stosh swallow from across the table and he nods in agreement, and I can’t help the smile that crosses my face and I reach out and take Dad’s hand and he looks down at me and smiles.

“Veronica, if you and Piz want to come over for New Year’s Eve, that’s another matter. I know that, Keith, you and Alicia have plans, but you're welcome to stop by too.” Dad grins up at Mom. Releasing my hand, he picks up his fork and knife and starts to cut up his turkey breast on his plate. “We usually order pizza for dinner and watch movies, the kids drink sparkling apple juice and we eat junk food. Then the neighbours a few doors down set off fireworks in their backyard at midnight. And you are welcome to come to that, if you’d like.”

"Thanks, Logan, Alicia and I will pass," Grandpa says. "But we're still on for our usual New Year's Dinner at your house."

"Sounds great, Keith."

Mom still looks a bit shell shocked from Dad verbally smacking Stosh, but she nods and paints on a smile for us.

“Thank you. We’d love to come for New Year's Eve.”

“Ummmm….actually….” Stosh mutters from across the table. “I kinda made us plans.”

“Plans?” She frowns. “To do what?”

“Well, Dick is playing this New Year’s Eve bonfire gig on the beach and I thought….”

“No,” Mom says firmly and quickly shoves a fork full of food in her mouth. I assume it’s to keep her from saying anything else.

“No, you see, I’m going to record it for that documentary I want to do about the band that I was telling you about last night and so…”

Mom shakes her head and swallows. “No. Absolutely not.”

I press my lips together, trying to contain my excitement. When I look over at Phin, he’s just sitting there, smirking at Stosh beside him.

“But this is for my _job_ , Veronica," Stosh says, exasperated.

“And _not_ going is for _my_ sanity.” Mom points her empty fork at her forehead. “And my hearing.”

This. Is. The. BEST! My stomach pains have been replaced by giddiness. I was hoping I could break them up with Dad, but if it has to be because of Uncle D’s music, so be it.

“Okay...what about this…” Stosh exclaims, raising his knife as if it’s a lightbulb near his head. “You go and have fun with your kids and I’ll meet you at midnight at Logan’s house.” He looks at Dad and nods. “Does that sound good?”

Mom looks at all of us at our end of the table, and we all look at each other, then at her, and then Dad shrugs.

“Fine by me.”

With a sigh of defeat, Mom shrugs as well. “Okay. We’ll do that.” Waving her fingers at Piz, Mom shakes her head. “You go and do your documentary about the worst band in show business, and I’ll be watching movies and eating popcorn until you arrive.”

“Unproblematic 80’s movies to be exact,” Dad states, raising a finger and twirling it in the air. “Ferris Buller’s Day Off. Ghostbusters. Goonies. The Breakfast Club. Gremlins. The Princess Bride….”

Mom arches her eyebrow at Dad. “I think one or two of those may be problematic for our ten-year-old-children.”

This time Dad rolls his eyes, and Mom smiles at him and laughs. 

“Fine. We’ll discuss it later,” he says in a begrudging voice. “I thought I was being a good parent by not showing them Sixteen Candles, but whatever.”

“What’s Sixteen Candles?” Phin asks and Mom scoffs.

"And why is it a problem?" I add.

“See what you’ve started.” Mom sighs.

Dad just shrugs and goes back to focusing on his food, that wobbly smile back on his face. “We’ll talk about it more later, Vee. I'm sure we can find some compromises.”

Mom's face twitches like she's holding back a smile, but her eyes are lit up and they give her away. She's happy again. I can tell. And it's Dad that's made her happy.

"I'm sure we can," she murmurs and starts loading her fork with more food.

And with that, we all refocus on our dinner. After a time, Grandpa starts a conversation with Stosh about his work, but I tune it out. Instead, I keep my parents in my peripheral vision, watching as they look back and forth at each other, and smile.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we all ready for our good, cathartic, Christmas Eve cry? I know I am. However, to balance it, I will be posting another chapter on Christmas Day, to bring some light into the darkness.
> 
> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to the best fandom ever!

Dinner is done, and all the presents have been opened. Dad sits on the floor beside me, stuffing wrapping paper into a big recycling bag, and chuckles. 

“Once again, months to plan…”

“...and they open it all in fifteen minutes.” Grandpa laughs from his chair. "It's the same thing every Christmas Eve."

I glance up at Dad and frown, momentarily distracted from organizing all my new nail polishes from him in the funky purple makeup box from Mom. Every year, Mom emails Dad a list of what we want, and he sets about getting it, dividing up the list between them. Which is cool because Dad can afford to get me 30 bottles of designer brand polish, but Mom can only afford the fancy box. But still, when they put their presents together, it works. The thing is, Phin and I don't care what the cost is or who got us what. I just always liked the idea that they figured it out together. It also saves Mom from hauling the stuff back and forth from New York. And some of our presents we keep at Dad’s anyway.

“We tried to be slower this year.”

He leans over and kisses the side of my head, then smiles. “That’s okay. The thrill of the moment is all that matters.”

“Thanks again for the LEGO Ferrari, Mom,” Phin says as he stares at the beautiful red car on the front of the box. “This is going to be so cool to build tomorrow.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I'm glad your father was able to find it.” She smiles at Dad. "It's a popular model this year."

Mom is sitting on the couch with Piz, and his arm is slung around her shoulders and has been since they sat down, and I’m just so grateful that my back has been to them the entire time.

“We can have a race, Phin,” I say. “Tomorrow, we can see if you can build your car before I finish building my Hogwarts tower.”

He scoffs at me and points to the box. “Mine is more pieces and more complicated. That’s not fair.”

“Fine. What if I do both Harry Potter sets—the one Mom got me too—then we’ll be more even?"

Phin crinkles his nose at me in his suspicious way. “Fine. But no cheating.”

“How am I going to cheat? It’s LEGO.” I gasp and roll my eyes, and Mom laughs behind me.

“Why do you two need to make this a competition anyway?”

Grandpa snorts and I hear him mutter, “Pot...kettle,” as we shrug in unison and look at Mom. 

“I dunno,” Phin answers. “More fun?”

“Well, your dad gets to referee this one, so whatever.” She laughs and tosses up her hands, ignoring Grandpa. “Go for it.”

“Thanks, Vee.” Dad sighs and begins to make piles of our presents under the tree again. 

“No problem,” Mom says with a giggle.

This Christmas has been nice. Less quiet. Usually, there are silences we fill with talk about our presents and Dad and Mom address each other kindly, but not often, focusing on us instead. Tonight though, there was conversation and laughter from both Mom and Dad. It was relaxed and easy in a way it hasn't been before. Before this year, I could never have imagined it could be like this because we were so used to the way it's always been. It was happy enough so we never thought it could be _happier_. At least our parents could be in the same room together while divorced—a lot of other kids in my school couldn't even have their parents in the same gym for our holiday pageant. But while there was nothing particularly wrong with our Christmases before, this one’s been so much better. 

Grandpa stands, chuckling and shaking his head. “I’m just glad everyone enjoyed their gifts. Now that you’re getting older, it’s getting harder and harder to buy for you guys.”

“I really like the set of original Nancy Drew books you got me, Grandpa.” I smile. “I’m going to take them home with me and read one on the plane.”

Ouch. Suddenly my heart hurts. I don’t want to think about going back home. I mean, I don’t normally like thinking about it, but this year, I REALLY don’t want to go home. With Mom. And Stosh.

“You are most welcome. Those books were a favourite of your Mom’s too when she was your age.” He winks at her.

“If everyone’s done giving their gifts, I still have one…” We all turn and look over at Stosh as he leans over and picks up a long red envelope with a bow on it from the side table. He hands it to Mom with a big grin. “This is for you, Veronica. Merry Christmas.”

She shakes her head and smiles. “I thought we weren’t buying each other gifts?”

“I had to. I mean, it’s not really romantic or anything, but it’s something I thought you could use. Something you needed.”

Mom frowns a bit. She never needs anything. Trust me. If something comes up, Mom handles it. That’s how it works. 

She sighs and opens the envelope, pulling out what looks like a long coupon for something, and she looks at it, puzzled.

“You’re always talking about how the hardest part of your day is making dinner for you and the kids because you're tired from work and don't particularly _like_ to cook….” Stosh quickly explains. “This is two months of a meal plan delivery service. Everything you need for eight weeks of dinners brought to your door. So you don’t have to think about it.”

And that’s when Mom smiles and presses the paper to her chest like he gave her an entire box of diamonds. Leaning over, she gives him a small kiss on the cheek, and I cringe as his blue and purple face smiles back at her.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me," Mom murmurs, and he takes her hand.

"You're welcome. And in March, when my lease is up and I move in, we can share the work."

For a split second, I feel guilty. Maybe Phin was right. Maybe Mom was feeling alone and needed someone. That's why she said yes to Stosh's proposal. But then the guilt is pushed aside by the sadness of having Stosh in my home, every day, for the rest of my life, and NOT my Dad.

I turn back to my pile of nail-polish to find Dad quietly sliding them into place in the box, and my heart hurts more, seeing him avoid looking at Mom. Reaching over, I pull the sparkly black one out of the case and force a smile.

"This one's my favourite, Dad. Thanks for picking it."

"I would say, no problem, but the fact that my only daughter is old enough to want makeup and nail polish did make me a little melancholy about where the time has gone."

I put the polish back and crawl over to him, and he opens his arms when I put myself in his lap. Dad wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead, and instantly my hurting heart stops hurting.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll still be your little girl for a while. I'm not going to stop asking for LEGO until I'm at least sixteen."

"Yeah, but you definitely won't fit on my lap then." Dad laughs and begins to rock me, pressing his forehead to mine. "And Uncle Dick just spent over a thousand dollars on LEGO for himself this year when we went shopping for you guys, so I think you're good to ask for that as a gift for a while, too."

"Speaking of children…" Grandpa laughs.

He lifts two shoeboxes off the top of his low bookshelves, walks carefully back through the chaos of the floor, and crouches, placing the boxes on the coffee table. I crawl off Dad's lap and scoot over to Grandpa, and Phin joins him on his other side.

"What are those, Grandpa?" Phin asks.

"These?" Grandpa looks between us and grins. "These are a historical record of your lives."

"In shoeboxes?" Phin laughs.

Grandpa lifts the lid to one, and we see a picture of ourselves, when we were little, at the zoo. Phin is in an orange shirt with bright orange shorts, and I'm in a hot-pink dress and bright pink sneakers. Dad is in between us, smiling for the camera in front of the monkey exhibit.

"It's us!" I cry and grab the picture from the top.

I can't take my eyes off us. I remember exactly when this was. We were five, and it was the summer, and the same year Dad taught us to ride our bikes, with Uncle D in the driveway, and you can see my scraped knees from when I wiped out.

Grandpa takes out a small stack of pictures and starts to fan them out on the coffee table, and Mom moves away from Stosh, closer to the coffee table to see them.

"After we visited the zoo this year, I went through my boxes and found all the pictures of the outfits your Dad dressed you in over the years." Grandpa reaches behind me, and hands the picture to Dad. "You were always colourful kids. And this proves it."

Mom turns some of the pictures towards her and frowns at them in this weird way, like she's upset, but I can't understand why. I see Grandpa look at her, but he ignores her discomfort and starts pulling out even more pictures of us at the zoo.

"This is my favourite," he says and holds it up so Phin and I can see.

It's a picture of Dad and Grandpa. I'm in Dad’s arms, and Phin is in Grandpa's. We look super young, and Dad has stubble on his face and looks so tired, but he's grinning at the camera, and so is Grandpa. I'm in pink overalls, and Phin is in blue ones.

"That was the first summer your father had you out here by yourselves," Grandpa explains softly. "You were three years old. When he got off the plane from collecting you from New York, I was waiting for him, and I drove you to the house he was renting." He sighs and smiles. "And I decided to stay and help with you both. Well, you both put us through the wringer that night—crying because you missed your mother and everything was so new and strange—so I said the next morning, let's drive to the zoo. I thought that you would sleep on the drive and in the strollers while we walked. When we got there, you were so excited to see the animals you forgot all your sadness, and we just had fun all together." He passes the photo back to Dad. "See, son, I told you they'd grow out of it."

Dad nods at me and looks at the photo, shaking his head. "At the time, I was sure they wouldn't —that you guys would cry and cry the entire summer, and I would end up doing the same."

"But you adapted." Grandpa glances at Mom and then down at the shoe box. "We all adapted."

I can't stop looking at Mom. Her face has gone blank, frozen as if all her emotions have left her, and she's just staring at the photos on the table like they're her work and not pictures of us.

"What's in this one, Grandpa?" Phin asks and pulls the top off the other box.

"Ah. Those are special ones. They're your baby pictures."

I scoot around Grandpa and get on the other side of Phin, my eyes wide as I look down into the box, seeing for the first time what life was like before New York. Phin pulls out the first picture from the top, and I'm mesmerized at the sight of Mom and Dad, each of them holding one of us, smiling like idiots at each other, on the front steps of some house.

And I can't help myself—I grab the box and dump it over the coffee table, spreading our lives out for us to see...for _all_ of us to see. 

There's a picture of Mom, big and round, with Dad's hand on her belly while he kisses the side of her head. Then, there's one of Dad, sleeping on the couch, with one of us on his chest. And one of Mom in a hospital bed, with both of us, and Dad sitting next to her, smiling down at us. And Dad on a blanket with Mom and us on the beach, and another of us all in the ocean, and then there's one of us in front of Amy's, and it's all so overwhelming to see all at once. It's crazy. Like looking into some else's life. But I know it's me. It's us. 

Up until now, the few pictures Mom has of us as babies are just of us. Dad is gone. Edited from our lives. The ones he has of us never show Mom. But here, with Grandpa, we're all back together. 

We're a family. 

I look up at Mom as she looks down at our lives, spread out in front of her. Evidence. She's a lawyer. This is our evidence. She's smiling in the pictures. So is Dad. They were happy. Once upon a time, they were happy, and this is the evidence in front of the judge. She cannot deny it.

Mom pushes a few around, her eyes skimming them as they move until she lands on one and pulls it from the bottom of the pile, scattering the rest. And as she raises it, she laughs this weird little laugh and bites her lip.

"We were so young. Babies having babies," she whispers, and I see her blink back tears before steadying herself again and flips the picture towards us. "Your first Christmas…."

Mom and Dad are sitting in this very living room, on the floor by the tree. I'm in a little Santa dress on Dad's lap, and Phin is in a Santa suit on Mom's lap. There's wrapping paper all around us, and Mom and Dad are raising our arms up high over our heads, and we're laughing, and they're laughing.

But she's right. They look like babies themselves. Dad's cheeks are rounder than they are now, and his hair is thicker, and Mom's skin is smoother and pinker, and they look like they could only be a few years older than us. My brain does the math and I realize they must have been only nine years older than us now in the photo.

Grandpa gently takes the picture and nods. "You were, but you were both such natural parents. So quick to love your children with all your heart." Grandpa turns and hands the photo to Dad, who hesitates for a second before reaching for it. "Still are."

That's when Mom's attention turns towards Dad as he stares at our picture. When he realizes she's looking at him, he looks back, and his jaw twitches and his eyes get so….intense...and when I look at Mom, it's like she's about to burst into tears, right then and there. But instead, she stands and brushes past Stosh's legs, knocking some of the photos to the ground as she moves.

"I'll go set out dessert," she mutters before quickly disappearing through the dining-room door.

We're all frozen, staring at each other, not sure what to do when Stosh rises and nods to us.

"I'd better help her. Nice pictures." 

It may sound nice, but the look he gives us is not nice. At all. In fact, he looks downright ticked off as he leaves.

My cheeks get hot, and I look back down at the happy pictures in front of us. Grandpa sighs, loud and long.

"It seems that I may have upset some people."

"You didn't upset us, Grandpa," Phin says. He's still pushing his hand through the pictures and doesn't even raise his head to look at us.

"Well, that's good," Grandpa chuckles and wraps his arm around Phin's shoulders, giving him a squeeze.

"You didn't upset me either," I lie, just a bit.

That's when I look back at Dad, still holding the pictures Grandpa handed him, and the look on his face makes it seem like he's been up all night for days, kind of like some of the pictures.

"Why'd you pull these out tonight, Keith?"

We're all quiet, and I can hear the small clinking of plates from the other room as Mom sets the table for dessert.

"To remind Veronica, if she's looking for a family, that she already has a perfect one, right here."

I mean, Grandpa isn't wrong. And if anything, he would know best what Mom's like, since he raised her.

Dad presses his lips together and shakes his head. "That's not fair, Keith."

"None of this is fair, Logan. Veronica leaving wasn't fair. And her showing up with a fiance that neither of us knew about wasn't fair either," Grandpa says, very calmly. Almost too calmly. "But you know Veronica, when it comes to dealing with her emotions, sometimes she likes to run away, rather than deal. I'm just reminding her that life wasn't always as terrible as she makes it out to be."

Oh. My. Gosh!!! Grandpa doesn't want Mom to marry Stosh either! This is big. Huge! Grandpa is Team "The Plan," and he doesn't even know about it!!! My insides want to jump out of my body and do a little dance on the floor. I'm so excited...but I have to hold it in.

Dad groans and reaches over, dropping the pictures on the table with the rest. "I made my peace with it. You should too."

"I can't, Logan." Grandpa looks at me and gives me a tight smile. "You have children. You know. Sometimes we need to protect them from their own worst enemy...themselves."

Okay. I don't get that. How is Mom her own worst enemy? That doesn't make any sense. Does that mean marrying Stosh may hurt her? Or she may hurt herself? I am legit so confused by all of this now.

He begins to collect up the photos, and Phin puts his hand down on them, stopping his cleaning. "Grandpa? Can we look through them some more? Please?"

"Tell you what...give me a chance to organize them better, and when I come over to your house on New Year's Day, I'll bring them with me. Okay?"

Phin is holding a photo in his hand, and he nods sadly at it. "Can I keep one right now, though?"

"Which one, Phin?" Dad asks, and Phin turns it around to show us.

It's a picture of all of us. Dad holds me on one hip and Phin on the other, and we're under the apple tree in Grandpa's back yard, and Mom is smiling at us, and her arm's around Dad's back and Phin and I are laughing, and we all look just so happy.

We could have been this. This is how our lives could have been. Could have stayed. If Mom didn't run away.

"Sure. You can keep that one," Grandpa says.

And I feel my lip start to quiver, and I bite it, hard, so it stops, and I snatch the first picture from the top of the pile, and I don't even know what it is, but I take it and stand. 

"I want this one," I state and turn. "Gotta go to the bathroom. Save me cake!"

I hear Dad call my name as I run up the stairs to the second floor. My heart is pounding in my ears when I get to the bathroom, turn on the light, and lock the door behind me. I catch my breath as I stare at myself in the mirror, wide-eyed, trying not to cry. 

That's when I look down at the picture I grabbed. It's of Mom and me, in matching blue sundresses, sitting on a blanket on the beach, playing. And she's so happy, and I'm so happy, and suddenly I'm glad and sad and mad all at the exact same time. Because I hate that she took us, and I hate that we were all happy, but I love her so much, and I know she loves me.

And then I go numb. Suddenly, I don't want to cry anymore. I'm not angry, either. It's like my brain is overloaded, and some sort of switch flipped, and I feel nothing at all.

I walk over to the toilet and flush it, then walk to the sink and run it, pretending to wash my hands. I get myself together. Shove the picture in my back pocket, and walk out of the bathroom, to go and have a piece of cake with my family.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Day!! If you haven't already, make sure you check the Chapter 8 update I posted yesterday before diving into this one.

I can hear Phin's door open in the quiet of the house, and a few seconds later, he knocks softly, and I leap out of bed. It's 5:26 a.m., and we are officially late to wake up Dad. 

I pull open the door and hiss at him. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry! I slept in!" he whispers back. 

We both shuffle down the hall to Dad's door and pause. My hand grips the knob, and I nod to Phin. He nods back, and slowly, I turn the handle, opening it carefully. Both of us start creeping towards Dad in the middle of his big bed, stretched out and sleeping on his stomach under the covers. It's obvious Dad’s awake and just pretending some Christmas mornings, but this year, he is out like a light and snoring a bit. Phin walks around one side, and I walk around the other, and my stomach starts to tickle, staring down at him, knowing what's coming next. Phin counts down with his fingers so I can see, and when they disappear, we both jump into the bed, landing right next to Dad and scream.

"Merry Christmas, Dad!"

He lurches awake and shakes his head, shocked at first but then he chuckles, collapsing back down on the pillow.

"You guys got me this year." He yawns and scratches his stubbly face. "Merry Christmas."

He rolls onto his back, and we scramble under the covers to hug him, one on each side. I put my head on his chest, and I can hear his heart pounding hard from our wake-up call in my ear. He always wears the same thing to bed, sweatpants and no shirt, except on Christmas when he wears pajamas that match ours. Today we’re all in green-plaid, and it feels cozy and fun to be dressed for the occasion, even if it’s so early in the morning.

We both squeeze him until he gasps, laughing. "Okay! Stop! I'm going to be like a toothpaste tube, and my guts will pop out the top of my head."

I giggle and relax my grip. When we were little, we would crawl into bed with Dad a lot, especially Phin, but we grew out of it. Now, we just like waking him up. He says we're his "adventure alarm clock"—when we wake him, he knows that it's time to get up and have fun.

I'm content to cuddle with him right now while he yawns and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Even in the low light, I can see he has deep circles under his eyes, and I wonder how much sleep he got last night. After the whirlwind of emotions we all had, I wouldn't be surprised if he was up all night.

Dessert could have been awkward last night at Grandpa's, but Mom went into her full fake perky mode, covering the fact that she was upset by keeping the conversation going. We always know when she has a bad day at work because she does this at dinner, suddenly becoming crazy interested in every second we spent at school. The only time she stopped was when she had that first bite of cake, and she seemed completely satisfied for the moment, and I looked over at Dad to see him smirking, as if proud of himself for bringing her that much joy, in cake form. When she took a massive scoop of Pistachio ice cream after, she looked the same, and it made my heart happy, knowing that she could also be thinking about how Dad used to buy it for her when she was pregnant. Grandpa was game to talk with Stosh again, but for the most part, Stosh seemed to avoid conversation with Dad and vice versa.

But then, at the door—where Dad and Mom usually talk about picking us up, and Dad gives her a kiss on the cheek—this year, Dad loaded our presents into the car and Mom stayed back in the living room with Stosh. Dad just gave her a quick wave from the doorway and said he would see her on New Year's Eve around 6ish, and that was that. When Dad spoke to her, Stosh wrapped his arm around Mom’s waist, and she didn’t even attempt to move closer to Dad or us, forcing us to come to say good-bye to her (and him...ugh) as we left. And you could totally tell, when Dad got in the car, that he was sad about it. 

My memory is interrupted when Dad kisses me on the head, then Phin, and pats our shoulders. "You must be getting older. Usually, you've dragged me out of bed to see what Santa brought you by now."

I shift my head into the softness of his shoulder and close my eyes. It's funny, but until Grandpa mentioned it, I had forgotten about the first time we spent the summer with Dad. I mean, we were really young, but I remember how happy we were to see him at the airport, and how he lifted us both up in his arms when he saw us. I remember being scared of the plane ride and wondering why Mom wasn't sitting with us, and then seeing Grandpa and being happy, but when we got home, how sad I was that Mom had ‘disappeared’, and how I cried and Phin cried harder, and how Dad just held us in his big arms and rocked us until we stopped. How we all slept in the same big bed, so when we woke up crying, Dad could do it all again. And again.

Squeezing him again, I hold back my tears. "It's just cozy, Dad. That's all."

"I didn't sleep very well," Phin says sadly from the other side.

I open my eyes to see Dad kiss Phin on the forehead again, and he sighs. "Me either. You should have come down and done some laps in the pool with me."

"I will next time, Dad."

"Just don't do it alone. If I'm not still awake, come and wake me up and I'll join you, okay Phin?"

"Okay. Sure."

We all lay together for another minute or so before Dad groans and sits up, and we're forced to get up with him.

"Come on. _I_ want to see what Santa got you guys. Those were some awfully heavy presents," he says, and we scoot off the bed. "Had to help him pull them out of his sleigh. Good thing I work out all year, just for this moment.”

I giggle and hand him his black robe from the foot of the bed, and he throws it on. 

"Did he like the scotch you left for him?"

Dad wiggles his hand back and forth, his lip curling. "Eh. He thought it was a bit peaty for his taste, but he enjoyed it better than the milk he got next door. Especially with the butter tarts, I picked out from the bakery. He said it paired really nicely."

I take Dad's hand, and Phin takes his other one as I lead us out of the room, down the hallway and the stairs. The lights are still on leading to the kitchen and living room, and I get a tickle of excitement in my belly. Really, it's one huge room anyway, so as soon as we hit the kitchen, we can see all the white lights on the tree still lit, reflecting off the silver and gold balls, and I hurry past the big dining room table. When I come around the big leather couch, I gasp at the sight of two massive boxes and one smaller one, set apart from our already opened presents and wrapped up in the red and gold paper. Our red knit stockings are hung from the mantle, and all three are stuffed so full they are stretching.

Phin rushes past me to the box with his name on it and crouches, waiting with wide eyes, until I kneel next to mine.

Dad sits on the ground near us and nods. "Alright. Let's see how Santa spoiled you both this year."

With that, Phin and I rip the paper off our presents, only for us to find two unmarked brown boxes underneath. I frown and pull the tape off that one, pull back the flaps and reach inside to pull out the movie theatre LEGO set, and I'm so surprised and excited that I'm speechless. But it's not the only thing in there, and I pull out another box with the shopping mall, then the bookshop, and finally the diner. 

"I got the Lego Death Star!" Phin yells, nearly falling over as he pulls out the massive box. With a grunt, he drops it to the ground and looks inside again. "And the Ewok Village!!!! Wow!!!"

"I think these are all the ones I need to finish my Lego City!" I say and line them up on the coffee table to look at them better. "Santa rocks!"

Phin yanks the second Lego set out of the box, then looks at the ceiling and yells, "THANK YOU, SANTA!!" 

I cover my ears and shake my head as Dad laughs. "That definitely made it to the North Pole, Phin."

He reaches for the box with his name on it and lifts it, shaking it in the air. It’s smaller than our presents, but it still sounds like the same thing. And when Dad rips the paper off it, Phin and I start to laugh.

“Santa brought me the Lego Millenium Falcon!” Dad exclaims with all the excitement of a small child. “This is AWESOME! I always wanted this!”

“Lemme see,” Phin says and crawls over me to get to Dad as I shriek and swat his butt when he goes by.

Dad presses the huge box to his chest and shakes his head. “No! This one is all for me! All for meeeeee!” He laughs, and I burst out laughing too as Phin swipes at it. 

“I thought you were on the naughty list this year?”

“Nope! Worked my way off! And now I get this!”

Dodging him, Dad drops the box with a thud and yanks Phin onto his lap as Phin laughs and laughs. I crawl away from my presents towards Dad, and he leans over to grab me too, and suddenly we’re a big pile of giggling mess on the ground. 

"But you're a grown-up!" Phin laughs.

"Says who?" Dad exclaims, and he gets us in a tight grip while we scream and wiggle.

He kisses my head, then Phin’s, before releasing us, and we wobble to our feet and get our stockings while he rights himself again.

I grab my stocking off the hook, and Phin grabs his and Dad’s, and we bring them back to where Dad is sitting, and we join him again. Phin hands Dad his stocking, and Dad smiles, waiting until we’re ready before he starts to pull things from his.

“One. Two…” Phin starts.

“Three!” I end, and we both dump our stockings on the ground.

Dad just chuckles as the contents land in a pile in front of each of us, continuing to pull out things like colourful socks and ties from his.

“More makeup!” I squeal and pull out the compact from its box, with the big YSL logo on the front. It’s filled with small circles of sparkling eye shadows, and I’m dazzled by how beautiful they are. “Stella and I are going to have so much fun with this.”

“Well, if this is the direction things are going…” Dad states with a heavy sigh. “I’ll talk to your Mom, and maybe she’ll let me take you to see Grandma Lynn’s old makeup artist in L.A. this summer, once you turn 11. She can teach you everything you need to know about the stuff because I sure can’t.”

“Oh my gosh! That would be the best!” I clasp my hands together as my stomach does happy flip flops. “Thank you! I mean, Stella and I have been figuring it out, but Mom’s not too big on _fun_ makeup, you know? So that would be so cool.”

Dad laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t think your Mom can go to court with electric blue eye shadow on. It may be distracting for the jury.”

“True.” I wrinkle my nose at the thought. “But it would leave an impression.”

“This is such a cool nano-drone! It even has a camera.” 

I look over at Phin to see him pull a small flying saucer-like thing out of a box, along with a little remote control.

“That’s pretty awesome,” Dad states. “But I think that it may have to stay here, and we can use it on the grounds. Wouldn’t want you to get arrested for taking pictures of people in Central Park.”

Phin shrugs. “I’m okay with that. Maybe I can figure out how to fly it through the house too.”

“That would be super cool, Phin. And I think, if Gracie looks through her pile a bit more, she’ll find that she has one too.” Dad winks.

I push aside the funky socks and velvet hair scrunchies to find a box with a picture of a drone on it too, and smile.

“This is awesome. Santa picked some amazing stuff this year.”

Dad pulls a small box of cologne from his stocking and puts it up to his nose, taking a deep sniff, and grins. “Santa knows what we like. He’s good that way.”

There’s a loud beep from the kitchen, and I smell the coffee start to waft through to where we are. Both Dad and Mom have the same coffee maker, timed to almost the same times each day, and now I wonder if they had one when they were together, and that’s why they still make coffee that way.

“That’s my cue to start making breakfast.” Scooping up his treasures, Dad rises and looks over the chaos of the room. “If you want, we can eat breakfast at the counter, and you guys can set yourselves up at the table to start doing your Lego. I didn’t really make plans for the next few days, other than us all hanging out together and the inevitable visits from Uncle Dick at random times, so you’ll probably be able to finish before you head back to New York.”

And just like that, my heart hurts again. I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna go I don’t wanna go….

“Do we have to?” Phin says quietly, and I look over at him, horrified that he was in my brain.

“What do you mean, Phin? Do you have to do your Lego? Or do you have to go back to New York?” Dad bends and places his presents on the coffee table, then sits down across from us on the couch, frowning.

“Do we have to go back to New York with Mom?”

Dad scratches his stubble and sighs. “Yes, Phin, you do.”

“Why?” 

This time, Dad rubs his face with his palms, and I feel so bad for Dad that I wanna tell Phin to shut up, but I’m also kinda in awe of the fact that he had the guts to ask in the first place.

“Because that’s the arrangement I agreed to when your mother and I got divorced.” 

He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, cradling his face as he looks between us. He looks so exhausted by everything that now I think it’s best if we all just go and leave him alone to recover from us. And by _us_ , I mean Mom and Stosh more than Phin and me.

“Don’t you want to go back to your school, Phineus? To your friends? To swimming lessons and running club and soccer practice?”

Phin just looks down and shakes his head. “I want to stay here with you. Can’t you talk to Mom and try and get her to change her mind? Maybe Gracie can go back, and I can…”

“Hey!” I yelp. “Do you think _I_ want to go back with Mom and Stosh? No way! If you stay, then I stay.”

“As much as I hate to say it...no one is staying,” Dad states, firmly but gently, in that way he has. “Look, one of the reasons why you like it here so much is I get to be the _fun parent._ I don’t have to make you make your bed, don’t have to make you get up to go to school, don’t have to get on you about homework and things.” Crossing his arms, Dad shakes his head. “For better or worse, your Mom has that role. It’s a role she chose for herself a long time ago, and frankly, she’s perfect for it. I am not.”

Phin pulls his knees up to his chin and wraps his arms around his legs, watching Dad but not saying a word.

“From what I’ve seen over the past few days, both Piz and your mother are exactly the people to manage your normal lives. Look, Piz even gave your mom a gift that would help her feed you guys!” Dad laughs. “If she complained to me about making dinners, I would have just given her gift cards for pizza and Italian restaurants around town and hoped for the best.”

I can’t help but snicker, and that even makes Phin snort, then try to hide his smile.

“And maybe I like being _the fun one_.” Dad shrugs. “I like being the one who does Lego with you and takes you dirt biking. Or build a climbing wall for you guys in my house, but then end up using it for myself.” He sighs again, standing and shaking his head. “And that’s not to say that I wouldn’t absolutely love to have you with me 100% of the time. But your mother is making sure you guys are turning out so well. Not me. She’s the one enrolling you in the best private schools, and caring about your grades, and getting you to volunteer for school functions and things. I wouldn’t know the first thing about that stuff.”

He turns and starts to walk back towards the kitchen but stops by the table and turns, throwing us a wink.

“Besides, you would get sick of my pancakes if you had them every day.”

“No, we wouldn’t, Dad.” I know that he’s trying to be funny and cute, but I really need to say it. "We wouldn't get sick of you at all."

A wobbly smile crosses his face, and he nods. “I’ll take that as a huge compliment on my cooking skills.”

Dad returns to his mission of finding himself a coffee and making us breakfast, and I turn back to Phin, who is sitting stone still, just staring into the distance. This can’t be good. He has this look on his face like he’s plotting wild ideas. When we were little, he would get this look before creating massive Hot Wheels tracks that snaked through our apartment from one end to the other. Or there was the time he built a skyscraper on our kitchen table with blocks and tried to reach the ceiling. Grandpa always says that Phin looks like Dad and has Dad’s emotions, but his brain is all Mom. I know for a fact because Mom gets the exact same look when she's working in her office on a big case.

Then, he suddenly just snaps out of it, shaking his head. He looks at me and just smiles.

"Come on. Let's go start our Lego." 

And with that, he jumps to his feet and picks up the box for the Death Star. Grunting, he lugs it over to the table and places it at the head, grinning at the box.

I scoop up the diner set from the coffee table and walk over to the table with a sigh. Whatever _thing_ Phin has concocted will have to wait, for now.


	10. Chapter 10

Soft Christmas music plays through the speakers in the house even though it's the day after Christmas, and around the long dining room table, everything is calm and bright. We're still in our jammies and haven't even brushed our teeth today. Dad is back in his sweats, an old Citizen Dick t-shirt, and he hasn't shaved in two days. Even though it's well into the afternoon, no one is particularly concerned by our general lack of motivation today.

Dad’s tongue is slowly making its way out between his lips and I can’t help but giggle at his concentration as he puts a stroke of icy blue nailpolish on my thumb. He looks up at me and frowns.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I shrug. “You’re doing great, Dad.”

He raises my completed hand in his and smiles to himself, obviously proud of his work.

“So, give this a few minutes and we’ll put on a topcoat of the clear sealer,” he says and screws the brush back onto the bottle.

I fan out all my fingers on both hands to look at how pretty they are and sigh. 

“Wow. You didn’t get any on my cuticles. You’re officially better than Stella at this.”

Dad takes the shimmery purple nailpolish I wanted from my case and gives it a shake. Holding out his hand to me, I take his signal to raise my foot to him and he places it gently on his knee, frowning at my nails.

“Thank you. I accept tips in the form of hugs, but don't try that with any other esthetician," he teases. "Your toenails are much smaller, so I can’t promise the perfection I managed with your hands.” Unscrewing the top of the nailpolish, Dad slowly removes the brush and dabs off some excess paint. “Side note...I think I may be starting to need glasses. Although the last time I did this, the toes I was painting were slightly bigger."

"Mom's?"

Dad snorts and shakes his head, lowering his head closer to my foot. "No. Lilly's. When we were dating she used to make me paint her toenails pink."

"Ew! Why would you _do_ that?" Phin looks around his partially completed Death Star from the other side of the dining room table and wrinkles his nose at us.

My foot bounces as Dad laughs and he drops a bit of polish on my big toenail before spreading it with the brush.

"Because, Phin, sometimes when you're young and have a girlfriend, you'll do anything they ask of you. Even if it's painting their toenails. We boys are stupid that way."

"Have you done a lot of stupid things for girls, Dad?" I ask.

He presses his lips together like he's holding back a grin and just nods his response, carefully moving the brush to the next toe.

"Like what?" Phin asks, momentarily distracted from his serious Lego work.

Dad’s whole body shakes this time as he chuckles, deep and long. He picks up my foot in the palm of his big hand and I slide in the chair when he raises it up a little closer to his face for him to see.

“I have done many, many, many stupid things for girls in my time. Most of the things I’ll need to wait to tell you about until you turn 16...at least.”

“Have you done any stupid things for Mom?” I can barely keep the excitement out of my words when I ask.

The nail brush hovers for a split second over my toe and a wicked grin spreads across Dad’s face. He looks up at me and arches his eyebrow at me and laughs again.

“Lately or in general?”

“Either,” Phin says with a grin. He stands and walks away from his project to join us at the other end of the table, taking the chair just behind me.

Finishing the final toes on my foot, Dad lets me go and I trade feet while he reloads the polish on the brush. When he’s done, he lets out a deep sigh and continues to paint as he speaks.

“I once punched a federal agent for her. Does that count as stupid?”

“WHAAATT?!” we both gasp in unison.

A smug look of satisfaction crosses Dad’s face, but he shrugs nonchalantly, like he didn’t just drop this massive life bomb on us.

“The guy was undercover at our high school and your mom got mixed up in one of his investigations. I happened to be talking to her on her cell phone when he jumped in her car and kind of...well...I thought he kidnapped her…”

“WHAAAATTT?” we both yell again and Dad carries on like we didn’t just freak out inches away from his face.

“...but he was just taking her to his motel room to get information from her about a case she was working. Except she didn't know it at the time...and neither did I. So I headed there, cut them off at the pass, and sucker punched him a few times.”

So. Many. Questions. It feels like my head may explode just trying to pick one from my brain!

“Wait! Stop! What did Mom do when you punched him?” Phin jumps in, leaning closer to us.

“Well, at first she didn’t do anything, but his badge fell out of his pocket and she realized he was with the ATF and stopped me from knocking all his teeth loose.”

“You could have totally gone to prison,” I murmur in shock and Dad nods.

“True. Thankfully, he and your mom had a nice conversation and exchanged information and I didn’t have to.”

He looks up at us with a wobbly smile and places my foot down on his knee, returning the brush to the polish. There’s something in the twinkle in his eye, though, that tells me he isn’t quite done with the story.

“Then what happened?” My heart is pounding with excitement as I ask.

Dad looks between us and his cheeks go a little pink and deep dimples appear from his smile. “Then, as we left, she stopped me and gave me a small kiss, to thank me for showing up and protecting her.”

We both gasp and Phin nearly climbs onto the table to get closer to us. “ _Then_ what happened?”

"Then…." He pauses a beat and I hold my breath, waiting for Dad to reply, softly. “...I kissed her back, but much harder and much longer than she kissed me. And it was game over.”

My breath starts back up with a sigh and I clutch my heart. “That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Oh no, it isn’t.” Dad shakes his finger at Phin first. “No punching people to impress girls…” then he points at me. “...no kissing boys who punch people for you.”

Phin snorts and retreats back to his chair, folding his arms in front of his chest and shaking his head.

“Like anyone’s going to want to kiss Gracie anyway.”

“Shut up!” I whip around and swat in Phin’s direction but he’s way too far away and just laughs at me.

“Dear Lord…” Dad rubs his scruffy face with his palm and sighs. “Phin, be nice to your sister, please. Apologize, right now.”

Phin rolls his eyes and squishes up his nose at me. “Fine. I’m sorry Gracie. Someone will kiss you...eventually...I’m sure.”

I growl in frustration and Dad shakes his head. “That’s not a very good apology.”

“Fine!!! I’m _sorry_ , Gracie!” Phin stands up and stomps back over to his Death Star, dropping back in his chair with a huff.

Dad looks back at me and shrugs. “It was better than the first apology. I’d take it.”

“Apology accepted,” I snip back at Phin but he ignores me.

I take my foot off Dad’s knee and smile sweetly at him, hoping to get back to the original topic. “You said something about a _case she was working_ , Dad. What does that mean?”

His eyes narrow and Dad leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Your Mom never told you?”

“Told us what?”

“That she worked with your Grandpa at Mars Investigations?”

“Yeah, she told us she was his receptionist,” Phin interjects before I can say anything.

“She was more than just that,” Dad explained. “She did a lot of investigating herself.”

“She did?!”

“Yes, she did. But she didn’t end up taking a lot of cases after we got pregnant with you both.” Dad glances between us. “Being weighed down by twins was not conducive to lurking in cars outside seedy motels, tracking down strange people. You both were just so big, and she’s so tiny that it was too uncomfortable for her to take cases.”

My stomach tightens and I cringe and Dad must have seen because he quickly shakes his head.

“You guys did not take something away from her when she stopped investigating. Trust me. She always wanted to be a lawyer, ever since I met her—that was her goal—and she said in high school that her investigative skills would help her when she became one. It was something she was good at doing, and it helped pay the bills for her and Grandpa."

I nod my head, rolling around the idea of Mom as some secret investigator with a black trench coat, floppy black hat, and a magnifying glass, looking for clues in dark back alleys.

“That’s pretty cool,” I murmur, mainly to myself, but Dad nods his agreement.

“It’s pretty bad-ass. But that’s your Mom in general.”

Dad’s eyes shift past me, as if lost in a thought and my heart aches for him. This Christmas, I keep imagining things Phin and I lost from a life we never lived—one in Neptune with Mom and Dad together. But the fact is that I don’t know what it would have been like because I don’t even remember a time when they were together. Then I remind myself that what Dad lost was actually so much more. He was there. He had to live it. He remembers what it was like when we were a family. And just even trying to imagine that time, from the pictures and stories, makes me sad for him and so very angry, deep down inside, at my Mom that I have to stop myself from doing it.

The front door slams and bangs through the entryway and down the hallway and I jump in my chair, almost falling off, so Dad has to grab me.

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Uncle D calls out and it echoes through the house. “Where you all at??? Helloooooo!!!”

“In here, Dick!” Dad calls back and stands, walking past me to wave down the hall to him.

“Merry Christmas, Echolls Family!” I turn around to see Uncle D in a red t-shirt, red jeans, and a Santa hat saunter into the room, grinning from ear to ear. He raises his hands in the air and yells again. “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

“You know it’s Echolls/Mars, Dick,” Dad sighs as he walks up to him and Uncle D drops his arms to give him a big hug. “But Merry Christmas to you, too. Although you are a day late.”

Uncle D slaps Dad a few times on the back before they release and walk over to the table. I put up my fingers and wiggle them, showing off my nails.

“Merry Christmas, Uncle D! I just can’t hug you right now.”

He looks down at me, his mouth twisting as he laughs. “What’s that? Nail polish?! You’re way too young for that!”

“I’m 10 now, Uncle D! You know that,” I huff with annoyance and he just laughs and rubs my head like I’m some puppy dog.

“Oh yeah! Right.” He snaps and shakes his head. “Just watch out...first comes nail polish then you’re talking about boys and…”

“All right. That’s enough. Let her be 10 years old…” Dad smacks Uncle D across the shoulder. 

“We were just talking about stupid things boys do to impress girls they like!” Phin pipes up, jumping from his chair to come closer to the conversation. “Have you done anything dumb for a girl, Uncle D?”

Just as Uncle D opens his mouth, Dad comes up behind him and covers his lips with his hand so all that we hear is the muffled sound of Uncle D talking into his palm.

“We don’t need to hear any of those stories today, Phin,” Dad states and frowns at Uncle D.

For a second, they exchange looks and Uncle D nods, and Dad lets go of his mouth.

“Right. Those stories aren’t for today.” Uncle D winks and chuckles. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out his wallet. “I just came over to see what you guys were doing and drop off my gifts for you both…”

He pulls out two $100 bills from his leather wallet and hands one to Phin and then one to me. He’s done this the last few years and says the same thing every time…

“Kids gotta have pocket money for comics and bubble gum and stuff. Just don’t spend it on drugs, okay?”

“Thanks Uncle D!” I say as Dad rolls his eyes and sighs. “We won’t.”

“Thanks Uncle D!” Phin follows up. “Last year, I took my buddies down to the bodega near the school at lunch and we spent it all on chocolate bars. It was pretty sweet.”

“I bet!” Uncle D laughs and stuffs his wallet back in his pocket. “But if you get caught, don’t tell your mom I gave you the money…” He jerks his thumb at Dad. “..tell her your Dad did it.”

“Always got my back, don’t you?” Dad grips Uncle D’s shoulders and gives him a little shake and I can see that Dad may try and look annoyed, but his eyes are smiling at the back of Uncle D’s head.

“Hey man, I’m going on a ‘date’ with your ex-wife’s new fiance….” He spins around to face Dad, pulls out his cell phone and holds it up to Dad’s nose. “I mean, Piz has great taste in music, but he won’t stop texting me questions. It’s weird, man. I think he may like me more than he likes her.”

Phin and I start giggling and Dad shoves the phone from his face. “Well, he's coming alone to your New Year’s Eve gig, so if he suggests running away together, do us all a favour and say, ‘yes’ okay?”

“Ronnie isn’t coming?” Uncle D shoves the phone back in his pocket and struts past Dad towards the kitchen. “That’s a shame. I was going to dedicate my song ‘Heartless’ to her and everything.”

Dad groans and looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head. He does this a lot when Uncle D is around. Apparently, now that we’ve figured out that Uncle D doesn’t exactly like Mom, it seems that he’s stopped filtering himself. Or maybe that we finally understand that it wasn’t good natured teasing, and a little more harsh…

“No. Veronica is spending the evening with me and the kids. Piz is supposed to show up around midnight. Apparently an awkward evening with her ex-husband was the better choice when faced with listening to your music.”

Uncle D grabs a beer from the fridge, but Dad shakes his head at him and Uncle D looks at us, groans, puts it back, and grabs a Coke instead. Dad continues to walk towards him and we stay put at the table, watching them as they continue to bicker like a couple of cranky old ladies on the street. They do this a lot. It’s no wonder Dad is still single, if this is what happens when we’re not here. I can’t imagine any good girlfriend sticking around after listening to them snip at each other all day.

“Hey, this could be my big break, man. NPR! _National_ Public Radio! That’s all across the country at the exact same time. Don’t go breaking my buzz on this, dude, just because Piz’s gonna marry your baby-mama. He also may make me a household name.”

“The only way you’re going to be a household name is if they rename toilets, ‘The Casablancas,’” Dad shoots back and Phin and I explode with laughter.

“Har, har, har…” Uncle D mutters and takes a swig of his Coke.

Dad turns back to us, a smug look of satisfaction on his face and walks back towards me. I pull my feet up onto my chair as he sits down across from me and turns to focus on finding the clear coat in my nail polish case. Frowning for a second, he jerks his chin at me.

“You’d better put that $100 in a safe place. You don’t want to lose it on the way back to New York.”

“Oh! Right!” I look down at the money balled in my hand and stuff it in an empty spot in my case. “I’ll put it in a safe place in my backpack when I take this upstairs.”

I hold out my hand and Dad lifts it, kissing the back and I giggle when he winks at me. “For the record, I’m okay with whomever you choose to date. Boy. Girl. Just don’t come home with anyone named ‘Dick’, okay?”

“Enough already!” Uncle D moans as he walks towards Phin and drops into the chair nearest him. “Seriously reconsidering your status as my best friend right now, Logan.”

“I thought I was your _only_ friend,” Dad shoots back and I giggle again.

“I’m your friend,” Phin says and smiles at Uncle D.

“So am I,” I concur and Dad gives me another wink of approval as he begins to apply the top-coat to my nails.

Uncle D gets a crooked little smile on his face and looks down at the Lego spread over the table. Picking up the tiny Darth Vader, he begins to walk it over the half-built Death Star as Phin laughs.

“Knew I could count on you, little dudes.”

And my heart swells. Dad said that one of the reasons he’s friends with Uncle D is that they both had pretty terrible childhoods. The only difference was Dad had us while Uncle D only had Dad and his therapist. Sometimes, I forget that Uncle D isn’t actually part of our family, he’s just so much a part of who we are when we’re here at Dad’s.

Uncle D leans in and gives Phin a kiss on the head and Phin grins at him. “Wanna help me, Uncle D?”

Uncle D wiggles Darth Vader in Phin’s face and starts to breath heavy like he's the minifigure come alive. “Sure thing, Darth Dudious.”

As Dad continues to polish my nails, I keep looking around at all of us together and get all warm inside. Maybe this is why I never really thought that Mom and Dad belonged together before Stosh showed up. In Neptune I’ve always felt loved by my family here, and in New York, Mom makes us feel safe and cared for all the time. And we talk on the phone with Dad nearly every day and Grandpa visits now and then, when he can get away from work, and it all feels so normal, even though it may not seem that way to other people, like Stosh, but it’s been working for us. Or at least I thought it was. But now I want Mom here, to see _this_. To see us all together, being happy. And I want Dad to see that too, back in New York.

But I guess we’ll get that soon. For one night. On New Year’s Eve, Mom will be here all night and we’ll be able to show her what things could have been like….could still be like...if we stayed. And suddenly, I can hardly wait.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all for your comments!! They are truly appreciated. Haven't been logging in much during the holidays but I'll answer them all...eventually...when I can get back to my computer.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (almost) New Year! I'll be posting another chapter on New Year's Eve day, so you won't have to wait long to find out what happens after this. Midnight is by no means the conclusion, so definitely stay tuned.

New Year's Eve Day, and here I am, hanging off a wall. According to Dad, Phin and I were already _bouncing off the walls today_ anyhow, so he figured that rock climbing was the perfect activity for us. 

Phin is already most of the way to the top of the tallest wall, but I'm stuck about half-way up, trying to figure out the best way to go. Did I mention that he's totally better at this than me?

"You got this, Gracie," Dad calls from below me on the mats. "Just focus on finding your next grip."

My arms feel like they’re burning, and so do my legs, and when the doorbell rings, I gasp in surprise and grip the wall harder.

"The belay rope has you!" Dad yells, and I can see him out of the corner of my eye scrambling for the door.

I see a red grip with a good lip to my left and decide to work that way a bit instead. I stretch and grab it, looking down at a foothold and hanging on with all my finger strength, I move my foot to that rock.

"Oh, my God!" I hear Mom gasp and quickly shift my other leg to a closer rock, so I don't feel so much like a starfish slapped against a wall.

"Veronica, they're fine. Look. See. Helmets. Harnesses. Ropes. Mats. Safe."

"Yes, I know that, Logan, but it's still startling to see our son and daughter actually climbing the walls above my head."

I twist a bit to see Mom and Stosh, standing next to Dad as he grins up at me, obviously amused by Mom flipping out. She's early. What's up with that? I really hope it's because she wanted to be with Dad and us sooner.

"Hey, Mom!" Phin calls. "Watch this!" 

I look over to see Phin scramble like freaking Spider-man to the top of the tallest wall and slap the glass window of the skylight.

"Great job, Phin! You did that climb in record time today!" Dad calls. "Now come on down! You too, Gracie."

I grab the rope and lean back a bit to start my rappel down, and I hear Mom gasp again as I literally bounce back down the wall backwards, but I can't turn around to see her face. I'm kinda actually glad to be coming down because my arms are feeling like jello. Even though we've been practicing a little every day, I don't have the arm strength that Phin has. Yet.

As soon as I hit the mats with my feet, Dad is beside me, unscrewing the carabiner lock from my harness and locking it to the loop on the wall. He kisses my forehead and smiles down at me. "You did great today."

"Thanks, Dad." I smile. 

I start to walk towards Mom, and my knees wobble a bit. Damn it! This happened yesterday too.

Mom quickly steps over to me, and I grab her arm as she looks at me with concern. 

"I'm fine. Sometimes it just takes a second to get used to flat ground."

"I bet." 

She forces her best smile, but I can still see her concern. We move to the big black bin of gear sitting the middle of the room, and I grab my water bottle off the ground before taking a long sip, as I look between Stosh and Mom staring at me.

"Well, I should go pick up the recording equipment," Stosh says and steps over to Mom. He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before retreating. "I'll be back before midnight for a better kiss."

I legit feel some barf in my throat, and I quickly take another sip of water to wash it away. I make eye contact with Stosh and realize that he's wearing make-up to cover whatever bruises are left, and I try not to laugh because I'll spit out my water.

"I'll be here. Waiting..." Mom replies, and I realize her voice is cold. "Have a good time tonight."

Stosh seems to ignore Mom's shortness and instead, forces a smile at me.

"Good climbing there, Gracie," he says. "Maybe we can hit a rock wall when we're back home."

Nooooo! He's trying to be all Dad-like. I don't want this at all! But I swallow quickly and nod. "Yeah. Maybe."

"Veronica showed you the code to the front gate?" Dad asks Stosh as he and Phin join us.

"Yeah. She did. Thanks." Stosh nods at Dad before walking towards the front door. "Guess I'll see everyone later."

Mom gives him a short wave back but doesn't say a word. I can feel how tense she is next to me. I mean, of course, she is. Who wouldn't be? Stosh chose Uncle D and his terrible music over his own fiancee on New Year’s Eve, the most romantic night of the entire year! Well, except Valentine’s Day,of course, but I mean, seriously….what's wrong with him?

"Have fun! We'll see you later..." Dad calls in a voice that sounds a little too happy to see him go. He gives a quick wave and Stosh nods at Dad as he pulls open the door.

For a second, he pauses and looks us all over with a weird expression that I can't place. It's not really upset, but it isn't happy either.

"Thanks. See you, Veronica," Stosh mutters and slips out the door, closing it behind him before Mom can say a word.

We all stand in the awkward silence left behind as if no one has the guts to speak up after witnessing Mom’s fiance walk out the door on us.

"Hope his hearing survives," Dad whispers, and I snort when I giggle.

Mom folds her arms across her chest and rolls her eyes. "He's doing this for work."

"Sure, he is." Dad snickers and bends down to grab his water bottle from the ground. "You keep telling yourself that, Vee. Don't think about when those Citizen Dick CDs get moved into your home, permanently."

Mom scowls at Dad as he takes a long sip of water, fighting the obvious grin that's trying to overtake his face.

"You're early," Phin mumbles in a way that doesn't show that he's happy at all to see her.

"I am. Sorry. I didn't think I would be interrupting anything." Mom looks confused, glancing between Phin and me and Dad like she's out of place with her own family. “Piz wanted to drop me off so he could get the audio recording equipment from the store before it closed.”

"No problem. We were just burning off some extra energy before you, and the pizza, arrived." Dad grabs the harness around his waist and gives it a little tug. "Want to try? We still have plenty of time."

Mom's mouth opens slightly as she looks Dad up and down. He's in his tight, bright orange climbing pants and a black athletic t-shirt and the straps of the harness are wrapped around his waist and legs.

"Depends…" A crooked smile crosses Mom's lips. "Are the ugly pants part of the equipment?"

Dad looks down at himself, and Phin and I can't help but snicker. 

"Hey, these are expensive climbing pants."

"Of course they are." Mom drops her big purse on the ground and puts her hands on her hips. "Okay. If I don't need to wear any orange clown pants, I'm game."

"Gee. Thanks." Dad takes his turn, looking Mom up and down, then shakes his head. "At least you wore your sneakers. The kids and I use climbing shoes, but those will have to do since I don’t think you’ll fit into mine or the kids’. I may have to give you one of my t-shirts though, since you may get too hot in that sweater."

Mom drops her jacket on top of her purse and frowns down at her grey, cozy sweater over her black tights, then looks up and gives Dad a knowing smirk. "Oh, I can take care of that."

She grabs her sweater and pulls it over her head in a flash, revealing a tight black tank top underneath.

For a second, Dad blinks in shock at Mom, once again, taking her clothes off in front of him. I mean, seriously...what is with her and that??

“Okay then…” Dad gulps and walks over to the gear bin. “Kids, why don’t you get yourselves out of your harnesses while I help your mom into one.”

I start to focus on loosening the straps to mine, but out of the corner of my eye, I see him pull out the purple one Uncle D usually uses from the container. Walking back to Mom, he unbuckles the waistband, kneels on one knee and holds the harness out in front of himself for her.

“So, slip one leg into the leg-band and then the other. This is usually Dick’s, so the harness is sized pretty big right now, but I’ll adjust everything once you’re in.”

Mom hesitates before giving a little cough and steps closer to him. For a second, she bites her lip, trying to figure out how to do it, but then finally settles on grabbing Dad’s shoulder and stepping high into the leg bands, one leg at a time. Dad buckles the waistband around her and frowns.

“I’m going to have to tighten this a lot. Hang on.” 

With that, Dad starts yanking on the side straps around Mom’s waist as she pitches back and forth against the force. She grabs his other shoulder and lets out a squeak as he pulls everything tighter.

“Too tight?” he asks, looking up at her.

“No. Not too tight. Just right.”

Dad slips his fingers between Mom and the waistband and gives her a little shake to test if it’s tight enough to her body, but not so tight that she can’t breathe or move.

“Good. Wouldn’t want you wiggling out of your _restraints_.”

And that’s when Dad winks at her, and Mom blushes over her whole body so it looks like she’s been out in the sun for hours, and I’m so confused why that would make her blush. But it has, and it’s so weird.

Phin walks near them, dropping his harness into the bin, and Mom clears her throat as Dad refocuses on tightening the straps around her thigh, this weird smile on his face.

“I bet you say that to all the girls you have over here,” Mom snips and puts her hands on her waist, trying not to move against Dad’s pushing and pulling of the harness.

“Bold of you to think any of my dates make it back here,” Dad mutters and moves on to the other leg.

“Oh, come on, don’t act like you live like some sort of hermit in this giant man-cave.” Flicking her hand towards the sky, Mom scoffs. “I’m sure you’ve had at least one or two girlfriends in this same position.”

My heart clenches. They’re fighting. I can tell by Mom’s tone. This was not what I imagined at all. But now it makes sense why they barely talk with us around, if this is what happens when they’re around each other, without anyone else to see, like Stosh and Grandpa at the zoo. Now, they’re being themselves. And it kinda sucks.

Dad groans as he stands, but as he rises, he keeps his head in line with Mom’s so his eyes are level with hers.

“Funny thing…when you’re a rich, eligible man with kids, women either want no part of whatever drama comes with having kids or want to become your next baby-mama. Or at least that describes the ones I seem to meet, so I tend to make sure none of them get too close to the kids, or me for that matter…” He purses his lips, and I see his jaw twitch as Mom’s eyes get wider. “...and I most definitely would not bring any of them to Christmas.”

Mom swallows so loud that I can hear it, and she opens her mouth to say something, but then looks over at me and then Phin and closes her mouth, nodding to Dad.

“Fine. Now I know.”

Dad straightens and nods back at her. “Now you know.” With a wave of his hand, he starts towards the wall. “Come on. Let’s get you climbing.”

Mom follows him across the room and I quickly slip out of my harness and drop it in with the rest of the gear. Phin frowns at me, and I glare back. Clearly, he is not happy about the little chat about Dad’s love life either. I take off my helmet and toss it onto the bin, and Phin does the same before we head over to Dad and Mom at the wall. Dad has bouldered up a little way on the wall with one hand and one foot up on the rocks, and he’s looking down at Mom as he hangs there, like some overgrown chimp showing off.

“Just go slow. Think of it as a huge puzzle you have to figure out. Focus on finding your next move before you grab a rock—climb with your eyes. Straight arms are good arms. Try and hug the wall. If you get stuck, I’ll come up on the other line and help you out.”

Mom nods. “Okay. I’ve got this.”

“You’ve totally got this, Mom!” I say from the edge of the mat.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Mom says as she puts her foot up onto a rock, testing its secureness before pushing off and grabbing a rock with a good lip just a bit higher.

Dad jumps down onto the mat and steps back from the wall to give her some space. “Just imagine we’re back in high school, and this is someone’s house you’re breaking into.” He laughs and Mom glares at him.

“Whaaattt?” Phin and I exclaim.

“Logan!”

“Don’t worry, Vee. I told them all about your exploits as an investigator...it's all good. They get it.”

“What???” Mom screeches at him and finds another place to secure her loose leg and she narrows her gaze at Dad, now securely on the wall. "For the record, I never broke into anyone's homes...this way…"

“Oh, it’s fine.” He waves his hand at her and scoffs. “Now show them what you’ve got. We’ll tell them more stories about your cases when you get down.”

“I’m going to kill you when I get down,” Mom mutters and starts looking for her next rock as Dad just laughs.

“You can’t try and kill me until you make it to the top and back. That's a house rule.”

With that, Mom scampers to her next position, and I have to admit, she has a natural talent for climbing. Up and up, she climbs, and Dad stands on the mats at the bottom near the wall, smiling up at her with what looks like pride in his eyes.

“Do you believe she’ll actually kill him?” Phin whispers in my ear, and I wrinkle my nose at him.

“No. I don’t. Not one bit.”

I keep my eyes on Mom as she climbs higher and higher, and I can see her muscles flexing and pushing against her skin, and it’s not really until this moment that I realize how physically strong she is. I mean, I know that she’s super smart and she just keeps going every day, no matter what’s happening in her life, but this is a whole new level of strength that I’ve never seen. Soon enough, she’s at the ceiling to the second floor, and she slaps it, looking down with a satisfied grin on her face, and we all break into applause. 

“Way to go, Mom!” I yell.

“Wow! That was amazing!” Phin calls and hoots and hollers some more.

“Knew you had it in you still, Vee!” Dad says from below her. “Now brace yourself with your feet and hold on to the rope, just like you saw Gracie do it a few minutes ago, then bend your legs and push yourself gently back and forth from the wall. The belay rope will start to lower you.”

“Okay.” Mom nods down to Dad and begins to move into position. 

Slowly, she begins her choppy descent, and Dad comes to stand directly under her, his arms up, just in case. When she reaches his hands, he holds her waist and steps back, guiding her back to stand on the ground. 

She spins around, and her face is flushed with sweat and her eyes wide from the adrenaline rush.

“I can’t believe I did that,” she gasps and turns around in Dad’s grasp.

“Always good to learn a new skill,” he laughs. "Although I think they frown on District Attorneys scaling buildings and breaking into places for evidence."

Mom just rolls her eyes at Dad and presses her hand to her cheek, grinning wildly. "Oh my God, I haven't felt this exhilarated in a long time."

Dad gives her a playful wink and grins back. "I won't tell Piz you said that."

Mom puts her hand over her mouth to suppress the sharp gasp that escapes her, and Dad averts his eyes, his smile turning somewhat wicked.

As she takes a step away from him, Mom's knees buckle a bit, and Dad lurches, grabbing her to keep her upright. We step onto the mats, but stop when we realize Dad has her. Mom grips his t-shirt, breathing hard as he holds her steady.

“That happens sometimes,” he says with a chuckle. “Muscles you haven’t used in a while often get angry when you use them again. Probably should have had you warm up a bit first.”

Mom closes her eyes for a second, and Dad shifts his hands to press against her back. And that’s when time stands still. I blink, and my brain captures the image of my Mom in my Dad’s arms, and it looks so natural and...personal...that I kind of makes me think I shouldn't be watching. But then it all starts back up again, and Mom wriggles a bit, and Dad lets her go.

“I could use some water,” she whispers, and Phin jumps beside me.

“I’ll get it!” he says and hurries back to grab his water bottle from our pile.

She steps back to the wall and holds on to the rocks; her eyes fixed on Dad in this way that I can’t quite place. They’re softer, kinder than they’ve been. And Dad’s looking back at her...like...gosh, like some guy in a movie who is about to kiss the woman he loves.

“Here!” Phin shoves the water bottle at Mom, and Dad steps back a bit, and the spell is broken.

“Thank you, Phin.” Mom takes the bottle and lifts it to her lips, taking a long, long sip.

“Phin, why don’t you and your sister start putting away the mats while I help your Mom out of the harness.” He looks back at me and jerks his chin towards the ground. “Then you guys can take a quick shower and get into your pajamas for pizza and movies. Pizza should be here by the time you get back.”

“Okay, Dad,” I say, and he nods at me before refocusing on Mom.

I step back off the mat and start to walk to the one beside it, but I can’t pull my eyes away from Dad as he drops back down to one knee and gently begins to unlock Mom’s carabiner from the rope.

And that’s when I see it. I catch her. When he’s not looking up, her hand moves like it’s about to touch Dad's hair, but she stops herself and grabs the rope between them instead, gripping it for dear life.

She wants to touch him.

She wants to touch him in a way I’ve never seen her touch anyone before.

Again, I blush, like I just saw something...something... _intimate_...at least that’s what I think is the word from Stella’s romance novels.

Mom looks over at me, and I jump inside and turn away, hurrying back to my duties, putting away the mats. I thought tonight would be about our family and us. Clearly, I was wrong. Something is happening with Mom and Dad—something I couldn’t even imagine.

In fact, it’s better than I could have ever dreamed.  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!! In honour of the rollercoaster that was 2020, I give to you an offering of LoVe. May 2021 be a kinder year to us all.

"Oh, come on, you are totally Ferris. The attitude. The swagger. The penchant for skipping classes. The hair…"

Dad lifts his finger at Mom and tries to suppress his smile. "Okay...for one...I have never sung on a parade float in the middle of a major metropolitan city…"

"Yet!" Phin laughs, and I start giggling.

We are coming to the end credits of Ferris Buller's Day Off, and Mom and Dad have not stopped talking through the entire movie. Like, I doubt they even saw much of it because I know they were busy looking at each other. And it would have been totally annoying if it wasn't so cute.

After Dad had a quick shower and changed into jeans and another blue waffle shirt, we ate our pizza while we started our New Year's Eve movie night with The Goonies in the screening room. There was some snipping between them about which movies would be appropriate for us, but in the end, Goonies and Ferris Bueller won out mainly because Mom couldn't remember the storylines, so she figured they couldn't be too bad. Mom originally sat in a big chair by herself while we cuddled next to Dad under a blanket on the couch. She came over to join us, near the end of the first movie, sitting on the other side of me, and although she said it was for better access to the snacks on the coffee table, I could see in her eyes that it was because she was feeling left out. Then Dad decided to bring out the champagne early, saying that she was leaving at midnight, and had a lift home, so the grown-ups might as well make it a bit of a party. 

Now, Mom sits on the other side of the couch with us between her and Dad, her cheeks pink from the alcohol and her eyes sparkling as they continue to banter, the way they've been doing all through the movie.

"Yes, but you had an expensive car, so that makes you Ferris."

Dad jerks his head back and waves towards the screen. "That was Cameron who had the car! Ferris just bummed lifts from him and forced Cameron to let him drive. We just watched it. How could you have missed that?"

"Oh. Right. I think I was distracted by our conversation and zoned out on the movie. Plus, it's been forever since I saw it…." Mom turns to the screen and frowns while I laugh. “Then I admit I'm wrong. You're Cameron. Clearly."

"I'm the manic depressive rich boy who has issues with his father?" We all go silent for a second, and Dad shrugs. "Okay, well, that's fair."

Mom lets out another high laugh, and I shake my head. I have never seen my Mom drink more than one glass of anything, never mind get _drunk_. Same with Dad. But here we are, and here they are, clearly feeling very relaxed.

"I'm sorry." Mom cringes. "I think I went on a tangent."

"You did, but it was a funny one." Dad laughs and takes a long sip of his champagne. "I forgot how funny it is when you're drunk."

Mom gasps and clutches her chest, and Phin and I look between Mom and Dad, completely amused by their back and forth.

"I am _not_ drunk! I'm...happy!"

Dad leans slightly over us towards her, squishing me a bit as I’m next to him, and grins.

"Then I'm happy that you're happy. Even if this is the second bottle of expensive champagne I've opened for you this visit."

"You can afford it." Mom smirks at him.

"True. Very true." Dad drags his teeth over his bottom lip like he's going to say something else but stops himself, choosing to take another sip of champagne instead.

"Tell us another story from when you were an investigator," Phin jumps into the conversation, obviously enjoying the fact that Mom has been having a case of loose lips. "Especially if it involves Dad."

Mom looks between us, her eyes widening with giddy excitement. So far, she's told us a story about a dog-napping (no Dad) and a Christmas poker game (with Dad), and it's quite obvious we enjoy the ones with him in them.

"Okay. This one is from before your Dad and I were dating…"

Dad drops his head against the back of the couch and groans to the ceiling. "Oh, no. Which one?"

"So I was dating this boy named Troy…" Mom starts, and Dad groans louder like he's in agony, and we all laugh at him. "...Ignore him…" Mom waves her hand and continues. "Anyway, Troy calls me and says that he's stranded at a truck stop just across the Tijuana border. Someone stole his father's car. Can I come and pick him and his buddies up? I say, of course, I will, and lo and behold, who is with him but…” She points at Dad. He points at himself, causing her to chuckle. “...your dad. So I end up driving them all back to Neptune with your dad snipping at me and making all these comments the whole way. I just kept throwing them back at him…" Her voice trails off and she bites her lip, lost in thought for a second. "...and when I dropped your dad and their other buddy, Luke, off, your dad got all flirty with me…”

“And you threatened to run me over!” Dad gasps, and I start to laugh.

“Okay, yes, he walked in front of my car, and I revved my engine like I could have run him over, but don’t let him fool you because he was smiling and being all cute the whole time.” Her eyes narrow at him as she smiles. “Oh, and then I solved the mystery of the stolen car. Troy had set it all up to steal some drugs so he could run off with the secret girlfriend he had on the side. But I fooled him, did the old switcheroo, and that was that. The end.”

My mouth drops open in shock and horror, and I look from Mom to Phin to Dad, only to find Dad smirking over at Mom.

“Your Mom has great taste in boyfriends.”

Mom snorts and takes another sip of her drink, finishing the glass. “I’m sorry, but do we need to tell the kids about Caitlyn Ford or…”

“Aaaannnd on that note….” Dad leans over and grabs the remote, standing to aim it at the projector behind us, and the screen goes dark, just as Ferris finishes telling us to go home. “We have just enough time to clean up and get ourselves outside for the fireworks.”

“Is it that late already?” Mom asks and stands, stretching and yawning.

“Yep. Piz should be here soon to collect on his midnight kiss,” Dad states as he looks at his watch. “It’s eleven-thirty.”

The whole room goes silent, and the smile drops from Mom’s face. “Oh, right. Of course.”

Ugh. Just the mention of Stosh's name is such a mood killer. Grudgingly, I pick up two mostly-eaten bowls of chips and start to shuffle out of the room. Phin follows with more stuff, and we head down the hall, through the entryway, and into the kitchen in silence. Looking back, I realize that only Phin is following me, and I put the bowls on the counter and gesture for him to come over to me near the windows. He gives me a frown and follows, glancing quickly over his shoulder.

“Look, this is it. Our last chance to get Mom and Dad back together,” I whisper, keeping an eye out for them as I talk. “We need to make sure they hug at midnight.”

“What? Why?” Phin hisses, glancing back nervously.

“Because, have you seen how Mom reacts when Dad touches her? It’s like she’s about to faint or burst into flames or something. So we need to distract Stosh and get them to hug...” I hear their voices coming down the hall, and I slap Phin on the shoulder as he cringes at me. “Just follow my lead later, okay?”

“Fine. Whatever,” he mutters just as Mom appears around the corner, carrying a bunch of dishes with empty cans of soda piled high in one of the bowls.

Dad follows, carrying the empty bottle of champagne and the glasses, along with a few stray bowls. The merriment seems to have left with the mention of Stosh, and I glance nervously at the clock above the entryway to the kitchen. Mom puts her armload down on the counter and turns to me with a small smile.

“You know, I’ve been here for hours, and I still have not seen your rooms. Would you mind showing me before the fireworks?”

“Um, mine is sort of a mess right now,” Phin stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. “But you can peek inside if you want, from the doorway”

“Why should this house be any different from ours,” Mom teases him softly. “Fine. Phin obviously doesn’t want me in his boy-cave. How about you, Gracie? Care to show me your room?”

“Yes!” 

My heart leaps with excitement. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I talk about my room all the time to her, and I always feel like I don’t do it justice. Now I can show her.

She reaches out her hand, and I come around and take it, grinning like an idiot at her as I do. Dad smiles at me and gives me a wink. “Have fun. Don’t spend too long up there, or you’ll miss the show.”

“We won’t!” I say and practically pull Mom out of the kitchen and up the stairs up to my room.

When we get there, I pause at the closed door, and she looks down the hallway. “So, Phin is next door…”

“Yep. And our bathroom is beside his room. Dad’s bedroom is the door at the end of the hall, and he has a massive bathroom attached to his room. Honestly, you could have a party in there.” I open my door and flip on the lights. “Voila!” I state as I walk into the room, doing a little spin as I enter. “Here’s my bed…” I point like she couldn’t figure it out. “...and there’s my dressing table with all my makeup and my dressers for my clothes…” I point across towards my closet with the other furniture there. “That’s my Victorian Dollhouse…” I stride to the massive toy just under my window and pull back the drapes. “And this is my view of the pool. See! The fireworks usually happen in that direction.”

Mom comes over and stands next to me, glancing out the window, and I can see her smile in the reflection of the glass.

“Your father’s room in the old Echolls mansion had the same view,” she says. “I was in it a few times with Lilly, and I would keep watch on the boys by the pool so she could ransack his room for notes from other girls.”

“What? Dad cheated on her?”

“Lilly and your dad had a complicated relationship. Let's just leave it at that.” 

Mom sighs and steps away, walking over to my bed. She sits down and spreads her hands over my duvet, running them back and forth. 

"What were _you_ like back then?"

Mom shrugs. "At first, I was really naive and stupid about life. But then Lilly died, and all of it just...changed. My mom left us, and things happened, and everything felt out of control until, well, you guys came along."

"Us?"

"Yes, you. And Phin." She gives a little laugh and shakes her head. "It was so strange, but when you guys were born, it made me so focused. I wanted my career and to be a good mother to you both, and everything that happened before that just seemed to just...fall away somehow. I knew who I was and what I wanted, and nothing was going to stand in my way."

"What about Dad? What was he like?"

Mom's eyelashes flutter, and she sighs, and I catch her looking at her small engagement ring.

"Your Dad was funny and strong and smart and...loving…" She swallows after her words as if they almost hurt to say. "I know he's told you he didn't have the happiest childhood, and it didn't help _him_ when he was a teenager, or _us_." She looks up at me with glassy eyes and smiles. "But he loves you both so much. From the moment we found out we were going to have you, he set about reading every baby book he could get his hands on. And when you were born, it was like a part of him just miraculously healed the minute they put you both in his arms."

She blinks back her tears, and my heart feels like it's growing bigger and bigger, just talking to her about this.

“And what about now, Mom?”

“What am _I_ now, or what are your father and I now?”

I shrug and come and sit at the head of the bed, pulling my legs up under me. “Both? All of it?”

She frowns for a second, like she's gathering her words before speaking.

“I thought I knew who I was when I stepped off that plane in Neptune…a successful lawyer...a mother to two amazing children...” she begins, looking down at the floor as she talks, “but now, I don’t know. Sometimes, when I come home to California, I still feel inside like I’m that naive girl who had a pink room…” She looks up and around at my room and smiles weakly. “Most of the time, I’m just trying to take each day as it comes, with work, and with you and Phin. That's all I can do right now."

A weird silence comes between us, and I don't quite get what she's saying, but it feels like it makes her sad.

“Can I ask you something else, Mom?”

She reaches towards me, and I scoot closer so I can take her hand. “You can ask me anything, Gracie.”

I steady my nerves and gather my courage to ask her the one thing that I just want to know for sure.

“Mom? Are you happy? Like really, truly, happy?"

Her lip quivers a bit, and for a second, I think she might burst into tears, but she pulls herself together and smiles the biggest, warmest smile at me.

“I can honestly say, Gracie, that tonight, I am happier than I have been in quite some time. This Christmas, spending time with you and your brother and Grandpa and…” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “...and your father as well has made all the work and stress of day-to-day life just fall away, even if it’s just for a short time.”

My heart flutters in my chest. Just hearing her say that spending time with Dad has made her feel good makes me so happy. But then, I start to rewind her words, and I realize she forgot something really, really important. Someone. Someone I need to point out to her.

“Mom, you forgot about…”

“Hey!” Dad says and pokes his head into the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt girl time, but the fireworks are going to start soon. We’d better get downstairs.”

“Yes, of course…” Mom jumps up and runs her hands over her sweater. “Can I just pop my head in and see if Phin’s room is as much of a disaster here as it is at home?”

Dad gestures down the hall. “Sure. I'll show you. It's probably not as bad as your place because I make him clean a clear line in the toys and clothes to his bed, so if I come and check on him at night, I don’t trip and break my neck on something.”

Moving beside him, Mom looks up and smiles. “You still check on him?”

“Pft. Of course, I do. I know that the kids are ten years old in here…” Dad pokes his forehead and grins. “But in here…” He pokes at his heart. “They’re still our babies.”

Nodding, Mom glances back at me and then to Dad. “I know. I’m not sure where the time went.”

“Having a child is a poor man’s time machine to the future.” Dad chuckles, beginning to walk down the hall. “A rich one’s too.”

Mom laughs as she follows him, and when they are gone, I slip out of my room and downstairs. Phin is getting on his shoes and jacket in the entryway, and I grab mine from the closet and pull it on.

“You know, Stosh isn’t here yet,” Phin states with a grin. “Mom’s going to be mad if he doesn’t make it by midnight.”

“Wouldn’t that be terrible.” I kneel and start to tie up my Keds, grinning back at him. “Maybe the universe is on our side too.”

“Maybe he did run off with Uncle D.” Phin laughs, and I giggle just as Mom and Dad appear at the top of the stairs.

“What’s so funny?” Dad asks as they descend, and I shrug.

“Nothing. Come on, or we’ll miss the fireworks!”

Phin and I start through the hallway to the pool. At the door, we have to wait until Dad catches up with us, his shoes and jacket in hand, and punches in the code to unlock the French Doors. He said he used to worry that we would somehow get in and drown when he wasn’t looking, and he still won’t give us the code, even though we’re so much older now. As soon as he pulls open the door, we hurry through the room and push open the doors to the outside, cringing as the cool night air hits our faces.

“Is it time?” I ask and look back at Dad and Mom as they’re both still getting on their shoes and jackets.

“Almost.” Dad laughs. “And here I was, worried that you guys were going to outgrow the fireworks this year.”

I spin and face the clear, dark sky, in the direction that they usually start to appear. My heart is pounding in my ears. I’m so excited. At the stroke of midnight, all my dreams may just come true.

Mom and Dad finally join us, and I look back to see Dad looking at his watch. “Almost….,” he mutters and raises his finger to hold our excitement.

I glance at Mom, who is standing close to Dad, looking at his watch with the same wide-eyed happiness, and I start to dance on my toes, back and forth, to get rid of some energy before I burst.

“10!” Dad says, and we all start to count down together.

“9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2….1….HAPPY NEW YEAR!” we all yell together, and I launch myself into Dad’s arms.

“I love you, Grace,” Dad murmurs in my ear and kisses my head. “Happy New Year.”

The fireworks start to streak across the sky, and I see the first red and green ones explode in the reflection in the glass of the pool house.

“Happy New Year, Daddy.”

Dad hugs me tightly, and I see Phin do the same to Mom next to me. Dad releases me and opens his arms, and we trade, and it feels so good to hug Mom on New Year’s Eve while the sound of the fireworks ring in our ears. 

“Happy New Year, sweetheart. I love you so much,” she says as she rocks me in her arms, kissing the side of my head, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed.

“Happy New Year’s, Mom. I love you too.”

I step back towards the pool and open my arms, and Phin comes and hugs me. “Happy New Year’s, fart-breath.”

“Happy New Year’s, stink-face,” I reply and giggle as he lets go.

I look over at Mom and Dad watching us from a little ways away, and as I open my mouth to speak, Phin steps up and does it for me.

“You guys need to hug too. It’s New Year’s Eve. It’s the law.”

Dad turns and opens his arms to her and grins. “I guess one for old times’ sake.”

"I guess, just one…"

Mom hesitates for a split second before stepping into his arms, and her head presses to his chest, her hands tucking close to his body. His arms wrap around her tightly as he holds her close. As the fireworks go off above us, they stay locked together. Mom begins to move a bit...not like she's trying to get away, but like she's making herself more comfortable in his arms. She looks up at Dad, just as he lowers his head, and in an instant, she rises, and I think she's going to kiss him on the cheek, and instead, she brushes her lips against his. A shocked look spreads across Dad's face as he looks down at Mom, then his hand raises to gently cup her cheek, and it’s like Mom is caught in some sort of trance, looking deeply into Dad’s eyes. 

And my heart just stops.

That’s when he kisses her again, fully and completely, with purpose, filled with love and affection. And she responds by cradling his cheeks, too, so he doesn’t move as they continue to kiss.

I know I should look away, but I can't. The sight of my parents kissing as if they fell straight out of a romance novel is just too amazing to ignore. And I can feel it warm me all through my body —the love they share is just surrounding us now—and I never want this feeling to stop. 

Has this been going on for seconds or minutes or hours? My brain is stuck. I just don't know, but when they both finally let go of each other, Mom staggers back a bit from Dad, wiping her lips with her fingers as if in a state of shock at what’s happened even though she was _clearly_ involved with it.

I look at Phin, and he’s frozen to his spot, looking at Mom and Dad, and the fireworks are still going off, and everything just feels so crazy right now as my brain begins functioning again because OH MY GOD, MY PARENTS JUST KISSED, LIKE REAL KISSED, FOR REAL!

“Hey! There you guys are!”

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ohhhh…..nooooooo!!! Not him!!! Not now!!!

We all spin to see Stosh coming from around the front of the house, and now I can’t breathe because WHAT THE HELL?

Stosh walks past Dad and slaps him on the shoulder as he heads to Mom, who is still looking completely zombie-like after that kiss from Dad, and Stosh gives her a big hug as she grasps for words.

“You made it,” she mutters.

And as she’s about to say more, Stosh pulls her into a big old gross wet kiss. Her eyes go wide with horror as he kisses her, and I look over at Dad, who is in as much shock as we are, and silently pray that he uses some of that punching he talked about before, but on Stosh.

Stosh releases Mom, and I want to puke. Right there. I can taste the pizza again in my mouth. That was the most disgusting thing I will ever witness, EVER!

“Happy New Year, Veronica,” Stosh says and then turns to us, putting his arm around Mom’s shoulders. “Happy New Year, all!”

Dad finally snaps out of it and gives his head a shake. “Happy New Year, Piz. We had almost given up on you.”

“Yeah, well, I had trouble getting through traffic on the beach and then the gate, and I rang the doorbell, but you guys probably didn’t hear it…” He looks at Mom and smiles. “But I realized you guys must have been back here, so I just walked around. Glad I could get here in time!”

The fireworks end, and there’s nothing but the awkward silence between us all. Now, I focus on Mom. I hope she can read my mind because I would really like it if she could dump Piz right now, and we can all live happily ever after. She opens her mouth, and I hold my breath, hoping the words come out.

“We should go. It’s getting late, and the kids need to go to bed.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!! That’s not what I wanted her to say at all!!!

“Oh, well then, we’ll go.” Stosh nods at her and looks at all of us, gawking back at them.

“I need to grab my purse,” she says. “Let’s go through the house.”

And just like that, I see her lead Stosh to the pool room door, past Dad, away from us, and my mouth drops open in shock. I start to follow, and Dad quickly steps up to me, placing his hand on my shoulder and looking down at me with those eyes that just stop me dead.

“Don’t,” he whispers. “Not now.”

Mom pauses at the door and gives us a small wave. “Good night, everyone. Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year,” Phin mutters, and Stosh frowns at him before stepping into the pool room.

I watch through the glass as they move through the darkness, their silhouettes disappearing into the hallway through the open French doors. And that’s when I look back up at Dad to see the anguish in his eyes.

“What the _heck_ was that?” I hiss, gesturing towards the house.

Dad bites his lips for a second and shakes his head. “That was your mother, doing what she does best: running away from her feelings.”

“But...she can’t!” Phin gasps, coming over to us. “She can’t kiss you like that and just leave!”

Dad smirks and shakes his head. “Wanna bet? She has in the past, why should this time be any different?”

“But she’s coming back, right?” Phin grabs Dad’s arm in desperation. “She kissed you, which means she still loves you, and she’ll be back to clear all this up, won’t she, Dad?”

In one quick scoop, Dad sweeps us into his arms, kissing the top of our heads as we press against his chest.

“I don’t know. All I know is that she’s right, and you both need to go to bed right now.”

“What?!” I wiggle from his arms and step back, the anger now pushing aside any love I may have had. “That’s not fair! She loves you, not him! We saw it! We know!”

“Gracie, please, we can’t do this right now…”

Dad looks like he’s in pain. Deep, physical pain. And it’s all thanks to Mom. I want to kick something. Throw something. My anger at Mom is so strong and overpowering I just need to let it out.

“Fine! Then we won’t be a family again!” I scream and start towards the door. “I hate her! I hate her so much.”

“Gracie!” 

I hear Dad call for me, but I ignore it, breaking out into a run as I scramble through the pool room and on through to my room.

When I get there, I slam the door and pull off one of my shoes, throwing it at my closet. It lands with a crash, and the sound feels good that I do it with the other one too. Then I rip off my jacket and toss that across the room before I dive into bed, the sound of my breathing filling my ears.

And that’s when I finally start to cry. I cry, and I cry to get out the rest of the anger and pain. Until eventually, I fall asleep.

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please buckle up...our ride into 2021 is about to get a bit bumpy...

I'm shaking, and there are voices in the distance, and when I realize it's Phin shaking me, trying to wake me up, I gasp and kind of jump, but he puts his finger up to his mouth to shush me.

Frowning, I realize the voices are coming from outside my open door.

"Get up," Phin whispers. "Mom came back to talk to Dad, and now they're arguing downstairs."

Suddenly I'm fully awake. Scrambling out from under the covers, I see that it's 4:15 a.m., and I rub my eyes. Phin waves for me to follow him, and he crawls on the ground as he leaves my room. I follow, crawling on all fours, and find him sitting against the wall at the top of the stairs, close enough for us to hear but out of range for them to see us. 

Mom's voice echoes in the entryway, floating up to us, and I hear her growl in frustration. Laying flat on my stomach, I peek down to see her pacing past Dad. She's in a long coat, and her black sleep shorts and a t-shirt and flip flops, and Dad's in nothing but his sweats. 

I slide back to Phin and sit back up against the wall, just as Mom bursts out again.

"I feel like I'm losing my mind!"

"Maybe you are, Veronica. That's the only explanation for your behaviour…"

My whole body tenses, and I pull my legs up to my body. We've never heard our parents fight before. Or at least not that I can remember, and it scares me because I've seen Mom mad and I've seen Dad upset, but not together. This could be bad.

"Don't you dare!" she snaps. "You kissed me."

"No, once again, Veronica, you kissed me. I just kissed you back...better and more."

I can imagine Dad smirking at her when he says this like he was doing last night, and part of me wants to peek around the corner and risk being seen, just to see that.

"Why? Why would you kiss me like that? You hate me! Why on earth would you do that if you weren't trying to mess with my head…"

"Veronica! I'm not gaslighting you! And I don't hate you!"

"Yes, you do! You told me so! When I told you I was going to stay with the kids in New York without you. You told me that you hated me! That I was exactly like _my_ mother! You called me a coward and that you were a fool for loving me! I remember, Logan. I remember it all!"

"YOU TOOK MY CHILDREN!" Dad roars, and I grab Phin's arm, terrified by the anger. "You took my children and told me you could never forgive me for the one big mistake I made. One mistake! You told me you couldn't trust me to be a good husband or a good father! That I didn't support your career ambitions, which was totally false. So yeah, at the time, I did hate you, Veronica. I hated you for taking away the one true family I had ever known."

A loud sound rises, and at first, I don't know what it is, but then I realize it's a sob coming from Mom.

"I hated you, Veronica because you made it quite clear that you hated me for getting in the way of your perfect, normal _life_."

"I never hated you…"

"Then why did you take them?! If you loved me, why didn't you stay and find a way to make it work?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME AFTER US?!" Mom yells

I put my head on Phin's shoulder and close my eyes, listening to everything I ever worried about come out of my head but said by my parents. Why did Mom take us? Why didn't Dad come after us? Why did they do this to us? 

"If you were so upset I left…" Mom yells at Dad. "...then why didn't you come to New York and make it work?! Why didn't you come for us?"

There's a spooky silence that falls, and I wonder what's going on until I hear Dad's deep, sarcastic laugh drift up to us.

"You want to know why I didn't come after you, Veronica? Do you really want to know…" 

There's a long pause, and my stomach flips and flops, waiting for Dad's answer. Mom must have nodded or said something too low for us to hear because he continues.

"After that phone call, I was so upset that I started drinking. And I drank and drank and drank some more. I drank so much that I lost most of the week to a blackout. From what I was told when I woke up in a hospital bed, Dick finally got Keith to track me down. Your dad found me in a room at the Camelot, passed out on the bathroom floor. I’d been there for days and I don’t remember a single one of them."

Mom's sob rises again, and I can't help it. I need to see Dad, so I let go of Phin and drop down to my belly to look down the stairs, just hoping they don't see me. Dad is on his knees in front of Mom, his face in his hands while she stands over him, arms crossed as she cries.

"I was served with divorce papers in my hospital bed, Veronica! When they released me, Keith and Dick took turns sleeping on our couch to make sure I was okay, that I didn’t do anything even crazier. Your father arranged for Cliff to draft the counteroffer, giving you enough money to keep the kids comfortable. Since I knew you wouldn’t accept anything more." He raises his eyes to the ceiling and laughs again. "I felt so relieved you trusted me just enough to give me the kids for Christmas and the summer holidays that I didn't fight it. I thought if I argued with you, that you would drag me to court—bring up my parents and my childhood and tell them I couldn't be trusted to be a good father…"

"...Logan, I would never…"

"How did I know?! How did I know you wouldn't! You said that you couldn't trust me, but how could I trust you at that point, either?" Dad stands and towers over Mom. "I may have hated you then, Veronica, but I hated _myself_ even more."

Dad starts to pace around Mom, and I scoot back out of view so he can't see me.

"I didn't know…"

Dad scoffs and laughs again. "Of course you didn't know! I begged your Dad not to tell you! I thought you would keep the kids from me forever if you knew that I got blackout drunk when you stole my family…"

"Stop saying that!" she screams. "For the love of God, stop saying that I stole our children! I was the one who did everything! I nursed them and fed them and kept their schedules and made doctor's appointments and rearranged my school schedule and…"

"And you did it all because you're so goddamn stubborn you wouldn't let me help!" Dad cuts her off, and I imagine steam coming out of her ears, she's probably so mad. "I wanted to help, and even if that wasn’t enough, I could have paid for us to have a big house and a nanny and a cook and a housekeeper and everything we ever needed, but you said you didn't want to be an 09er! You wanted us to suffer—to break our backs with school and the kids and each other for what!? So you could be a martyr to no one? For some twisted pride that you did everything yourself? Alone? Because congratulations, Veronica...you did just that! And what did it prove?"

"What did it prove? It proved that I didn't need your money or your help! That I wouldn't turn out to be some bored, rich, drunk housewife to a husband that didn't care and two bratty kids that cared more about clothes and cars than other people!"

"That would never have happened, Veronica! That's just some lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about being a coward."

"I AM NOT A COWARD!"

"BULLSHIT! We could have worked things out if you had just stayed and tried. We could have gone to therapy together. Could have sat down and worked through our problems, but you didn't even try because you're a coward."

There's silence, and for a second, I wonder if Mom is going to run again.

"You're such a coward that you couldn't even tell Keith or me that you were engaged, and instead, you just decided to spring him on us without warning. We don't deserve that. Hell, not even Piz deserves that. But you don't even see it, do you?"

There's more silence, and now I'm getting worried because if Mom has stopped talking, it means she's REALLY mad. But Dad just keeps going.

"And it's really, really not fair to the kids, for them to see us all try and tap dance around your latest...well...I don't know what Piz is really, besides a terrible life decision."

"Don't you dare bring the kids into this!" She finally yells back, and I sit up again and grip Phin's arm. "I am a damn good mother…"

"A damn good mother wouldn't have taken them away from their family like you did."

"Like you're father of the year," Mom scoffs.

"No. I'm not. But I'm trying, Veronica! You know what I did after I signed the divorce papers? I started seeing a therapist—Dick of all people helped me find one. She said I was so bad off that she wanted to see me every second day and call into the office on days that I didn't have an appointment, just to check-in. I did that for a year. And then, I felt myself getting stronger, healthier, better prepared to raise _our_ children. And if you were here, you could have done it too. With me. For you. For OUR family."

"So what I'm seeing is the great reformation of Logan Echolls then? I would like to point out if you're trying to sell me on believing you're a grown-up, you shouldn't be doing it in a room you transformed into a rock climbing wall on a whim."

"You don't have to tear me down, Veronica, to make yourself look better. I've never done that to you, ever. And I would kindly ask that you don't do it to me."

"You don't tear me down? This whole conversation has been tearing me down."

"Not _tearing_ at you, Veronica...just peeling back the layers to try and get inside, to try and understand why you still hate me so much."

"I don't hate you, Logan!" she gasps. "I tried and I tried to hate you, but it was too hard! I would see you at the airport with the kids, and my heart would break all over again! I would sit across from you at Christmas, just hoping you would make some joke or rude remark that would tell me that you still thought of me as anything other than just the person who bore your children! I would re-read your emails about the kids, looking for some clue or a secret message in them, telling me you cared!"

The silence is like a vacuum, and I feel like I'm getting sucked into it as I close my eyes, laying my head on Phin's shoulder again, and imagine them down there together.

"So then, Veronica, what was this all for? Why did you put all of us through this pain?"

"I...I don't know..."

My head jostles, and I open my eyes to see Phin rising to his feet, then standing on the edge of the stairs, looking down at them.

"Phin!" I hiss. "Get down, or they'll see you."

But he just throws me this look, and I see the hurt and pain in his eyes, but before I can stand and comfort him, he takes off down the stairs, and I have to scramble to keep up.

When he gets halfway down, Mom and Dad both turn, horror on their faces at the sight of him there, and I freeze a couple of steps up.

"You don't know?" Phin whispers at Mom, and his body begins to shake. "You broke up our family, and you don't know why?"

She takes a tentative step, holding her hand out to him, and I see the fear in her face. "Phineus, sweetheart, I…"

"Do you remember how I used to cry when we left here, Mom?" Phin's voice is low and shaky. "Because I do. I remember all of it. Dad thinks I was crying that first summer because I missed you, but I was scared that you would come and take him away from me again!"

I watch Mom close her eyes at Phin's words, and she grasps her heart, and right then, I feel mine breaking into a million little pieces inside my body.

"And you tried to make us feel like all of this was _normal_ when it wasn't. It was all just a cover for the fact that you're the worst mom there ever was!"

"Phineus!" Dad barks, and I jump, and so does Phin as we look past Mom to Dad, his eyes hard and firm. "That's enough."

"It's true! And I hate her!" Phin snaps and then turns and runs past me up the stairs, stomping once he gets to the floor, all the way down the hall to his room where he slams his door so hard it's like he makes the entire house shake.

Left with Mom and Dad, I don't know what else to do, so I follow Phin, running up the stairs as fast as I can, what's left of my heart pounding in my chest as I sprint into my room and slam my own door, quickly diving under the covers for safety. That's when I hear it. It's faint at first—a banging—and then I realize as the noises get louder that the sound is Phin, trashing his room. I hear Dad's racing footsteps outside my room just before a crashing of what was probably Phin's dresser, and I cower under the covers, hoping Dad can stop him before he gets hurt.

As fast as it starts, the sound ends, and in the silence, I hear a soft knocking on my door. It opens, and I hold my breath.

"Gracie…" Mom's voice is soft and warm, like when I'm sick, and I suddenly start crying under the covers.

The door closes, and my mattress moves behind me as Mom sits on my bed, then she lays down beside me, gently pulling the covers from my head. When I see her face, my crying turns to a sob, and she pulls the top half of me into her arms and starts rocking me like I'm a baby.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, and her tears hit my cheeks, merging with my own. "I'm so sorry I did this to you and your brother."

"How could you _not know_ …" I choke out the words and wipe my tears on the blanket. "Phin’s right. How could you _not know_ why you did this to our family?"

"It's not that I don't know, it's just… it's just that it's hard to explain. But I thought I was trying to save you both from what I went through."

"What? What does that even mean?" I gasp.

"It means that my mother was just pretending to be a good mother. She never really loved your Grandpa or me. I used to hear them arguing when I was growing up, but after dark, when they thought I was asleep, and then I would wake up the next morning, and they would pretend everything was fine, even though it wasn't. It was like that until, finally, my mother left us. She left us when we both needed her most. And I didn't want you and Phin to watch what I had to watch—my family completely fall apart, but slowly, drawn out for years, one argument at a time."

"That didn't have to happen to you and Dad."

"Maybe. Maybe not. But Gracie, you need to understand, we were both so young. We knew how to care for you and Phin on pure instinct and luck. But we had no clue on how to care for each other. I always wanted to do things for myself, and your dad, well, he tried, but it was hard because neither of us knew what a good, healthy family looked like."

"You could have tried harder."

"We did try. And we failed. Or maybe I just failed. Considering your brother and father are currently locked in another room, sharing their mutual disdain for me, I'm thinking I'm definitely the one who failed."

"Dad doesn't hate you, Mom. I know. When he told me he loves you, I knew that it was true."

"And what about my son? Does he hate me?"

I can't help but cringe. "Maybe a bit, but I think it may be a normal amount and won't last forever."

"Great. Thanks." Mom lets out a little snort of laughter and wipes her eyes. "And what about you? Do you hate me?"

I give her arm a tug, and she cuddles around me, trapping me under the covers. She's shed her coat somewhere, and I can feel her shiver against me as she holds me close.

"I don't hate you, Mom. Not really. But I'm kinda still really, really mad too."

She kisses my head, and lays her head back down beside me on my pillow and sighs. "I can work with _mad_ . _Hate_ is a little more complicated. Hate gets in your soul."

For a minute or two, we lay there in silence, snuggled close together and the warmth from her body, and the sound of her breathing next to me is soothing. But there's still something tickling inside my brain—something I need to ask.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Gracie?"

"Why did you kiss Dad?"

Her breath hiccups, and she wriggles on the other side of me like I asked the one question she didn't want to answer tonight.

"Because I forgot to keep my distance tonight. There's something about when your Dad and I are together and just...ourselves...I can't explain it. It's like this invisible pull, and when I'm around him, I just lose all rational control."

"In a bad way?"

"No. In a good way. In a warm and tender, and loving way. In a way that brought about you and Phineus. In a way that keeps me still in love with him, even after all this time."

And just like that, some of the little shattered pieces of my heart begin to come back together, and I start to feel a little more whole.

"But no more questions, Gracie. You should go back to sleep. I'm so sorry that you had to wake up to this mess."

I can't help but yawn, and I close my eyes, thinking about Phin and Dad in the other room. I want to say something to comfort Mom, but I know that Phin will be upset for a while, and my stomach turns and churns just thinking about the pain my brother is in.

"Will you stay?" I ask quietly. 

"If you need me to, I will," she whispers.

"I need you to."

"Then, I'll stay." She kisses my head one more time and sighs. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night, Mom."

I suck in a sharp breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm my stomach. It's all so much. So very, very much to think about now. My mind is racing, but I'm exhausted as well. Maybe, if I sleep, when I wake up, tomorrow will be better.


	14. Chapter 14

“Veronica!”

Mom moves on the bed behind me and I open one eye to look at the clock. 10:27 a.m. Ugh. Why does it still feel like 4:15?

“VERONICA!”

“What the…” Mom shuffles, half-asleep, to the open bedroom door and walks through.

As I slide out of bed, I see Dad meet her, looking just as rough as she looks, rubbing his eyes and yawning. They nod to each other and continue on down the hall to see who’s calling her.

When I get to the bedroom doorway, they are standing together at the top of the stairs, looking down into the entryway and I suddenly realize who it is yelling for Mom.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake the lovebirds?” His voice echoes clear and loud upstairs and I sigh.

Ugh. STOSH. Why is he here????

“Excuse me?!” Mom starts to walk downstairs and Dad waits a second for her to go first before he follows. “What exactly are you insinuating, Piz?”

I’m so tired that I just naturally follow them down, a little ways behind Dad. Stosh is standing in the middle of the entryway, dressed in khakis and a Polo shirt and Grandpa is just inside the front door, dressed for the day as well, his arms crossed, shaking his head at Stosh. Grandpa must have been the one who let him in, since he has a key and knows all the codes to the mansion.

Stosh's arms flail in our direction and his purple and blue face is accentuated with the deep red of anger. I stop near the bottom of the stairs, but Mom charges across the room to him. Dad hangs back at the foot of the stairs, scratching at his stubble and yawning.

“I’m not insinuating! I’m  _ calling out _ the fact that you came over here in the middle of the night to sleep with your ex-husband!”

I gasp and then quickly bite my lip, looking between Mom and Dad. Okay...I mean...in Stosh's defence, Dad  _ is _ kinda standing there half naked, unshaven, looking like he hasn’t slept all night, in only his sweatpants. And Mom is about the same in her little shorts, t-shirt, and crazy bed-head hair.

“What?!” Mom yells. “I didn’t sleep with Logan last night! I was with my children! So was he!”

“So you’re telling me, you left our bed in the middle of the night, without telling me, to come over here and deal with your ten-year-old kids???” Stosh points at me and I feel my whole body go red with embarrassment.

“I came here to deal with my  _ family _ !” she yells back.

I glance at Dad and he has a look on his face like he’s trying not to smile. He scratches his abs and yawns again, as if he’s enjoying watching Mom yell at someone other than him.

“Oh, and what lies did your children tell you last night to get you to come over here?” Stosh hisses and my mouth drops open in shock.

“What?” Mom roars at him.

“Come on, Veronica! You can’t really be so blind that you can’t see what’s been going on.” Stosh walks past her toward me and I freeze in horror. “How your kids have concocted some  _ plan _ to get you and Logan back together.”

Oh. Shit.

I glance up the stairs, hoping to see Phin there, but when I don't see him, I silently curse my brother. He probably heard the accusations and is already hiding, leaving me to take the fall. Damn him.

“Plan?” I stammer. “What plan?”

“Piz, there is no  _ plan _ !” Mom gasps, exasperated. 

I look past Mom to Grandpa and he looks away, as if he’s being accused too. When I look at Dad, his face is neutral, like he’s trying not to give me away. 

Stosh pivots away from me and back to Mom, scoffing at her.

“Are you kidding me, Veronica? Are you really that blind to your own children's behavior that you can’t see it?”

Mom folds her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes at him, raising one eyebrow and pushing her hip to one side ever so slightly, and my heart stops because I’ve seen that look before. It’s the look she gives a person before she goes nuclear on them. I saw it when she took out Doreen Schultz’s mom.

“How am I  _ blind to my own children _ , Piz? Please. Enlighten me. Enlighten us all."

I shiver. Now she has “the tone.” I look over at Dad and his jaw is twitching because he’s trying so hard to hold back a smile.

“You haven’t noticed how your children ignored me the entire flight across the country, but then, when we get here…” He gestures at Dad and that’s when Dad’s smirk breaks through. “...they suddenly want us all to spend time together like one big happy family?”

Mom looks up at me quickly and my heart stops. Busted. But to my surprise, she just looks back to Stosh without saying a word.

“And at the zoo...with them trying to get in between us the entire time. And then at the pool party, when your ex-husband changed into that….well...obscene swimsuit, which was clearly to provoke some sort of reaction from you, because your eyes nearly fell out of your head when he did it.”

“Point of order, your honour...” Dad raises his finger to get their attention and points to his obviously flexing chest muscles. “I don’t work out every day to keep this under wraps.”

I stifle a guffaw. Stosh opens his mouth to say something but Mom beats him to it.

“Not helping, Logan.”

“Okay then…” Dad shuffles over to lean against the stairwell post, crossing his arms. “Continue.”

Stosh seems to take that as his cue and begins laying into Mom again, oblivious to the fact that he should have taken his own and just shut up.

“And then Christmas Eve, when they so obviously convinced your father to take that trip down memory lane.” He points at Grandpa and Grandpa just stares at him, dead in the eye, but makes no move to give away his hand. “I mean, God knows what happened while you were here on New Year’s Eve while I was working…”

“That’s enough!” Mom yells and raises her finger to Stosh. “First, there is no ‘plan’ Piz. Everyone has just tried to be welcoming to you — including my ex-husband — in an attempt to be supportive of me."

She pauses long enough to take a breath and Stosh opens his mouth to interrupt but she raises another finger, closer to his face, and he zips his lips pretty quick. "Second, you were the one who chose, at the pool party, to spend most of your time fawning over — Lord help me — Dick Casablancas of all people, and ignoring me. Until I had to drag you away to introduce you to my other friends.” 

Stosh starts to sputter at the mention of Uncle D, but when Mom raises one more finger at him he shuts up again. "Third, this is everyone just being themselves, that is it. My dad is a doting grandfather who loves his grandkids, my kids are caring and inclusive, and yes, even Logan is sometimes too nice for his own good, even if you don't see it as such."

Another finger goes up and at least Stosh knows not to interrupt her this time. "Fourth, if my father wants to show everyone pictures of my children from when they were little, so  _ you _ can get to know them better as well, in his own home — a home that he welcomed you into, I might add — then he has every right.” 

Mom steps right up to Piz and my heart kicks into high gear because I know she’s about to take the kill-shot. “And finally, you are the one who left  _ me _ on New Year's Eve to follow your little bro-mance to the beach, so don’t you dare accuse me of anything that did or did not happen while you weren’t around.”

Damn, she’s a good lawyer.

“She really is a good lawyer, isn’t she?” Dad whispers, a little too loudly, up to me and I can’t help but giggle.

Stosh whips around to Dad, turning his back on Mom and now I think, from the way she looks at the back of his head, that she may physically hurt him.

“And what about last night? What was so important with the kids that you needed to sneak out of bed, take my rental car, and drive over here while I was asleep?”

Dad stands straight and puffs up his chest, crossing his arms over it. “Phin was upset about something. I texted Veronica to come and help me calm him down. She happened to be awake so she came over.”

Oh my God! Dad’s covering for her! And she covered for him! This is huge!

Stosh turns back to Mom. “And after you calmed him down? How did you  _ calm down _ , Veronica?”

The sound of Mom’s hand slapping Stosh’s cheek reverberates in the space and I cringe, recoiling a bit at the imagined sensation of being struck. I look over at Dad and he’s cringing as well. I don't know what Stosh meant, but whatever it was, it wasn't good.

Stosh groans in agony, gripping his cheek, and Mom glares up at him, beyond angry. “How dare you show up here, and accuse me of sleeping with Logan while I'm engaged to you!”

In a quick motion, Mom pulls off her engagement ring, grabs Stosh's wrist and shoves the ring into his grasp. “There. Now we’re not engaged. Does that work for you instead?”

Wait? But she did kiss Dad. Or Dad kissed her. Okay, both. But it’s not like they did anything  _ more _ ….right?? I mean,  _ that  _ wouldn’t have happened in the house if Phin and I were here…because...ewww….

Stosh straightens. “Veronica, be reasonable…”

Storming away from Stosh, Mom runs past Dad, up the stairs past me and disappears into my room. There’s an awkward silence and we all look at each other, confused as to what Mom is doing and not quite sure what to do about Stosh. Mercifully, she quickly appears again, in her flipflops and coat, her hands shoved in the pockets. She hurries past me and Dad, heading back to Stosh, holding out a set of keys.

“Here are the keys to the rental car. Take them and get out.”

Stosh scoffs, shaking his head as he takes them from her. “Fine. Fine, Veronica.” Walking towards the door, he continues to shake his head, as if he can’t believe this is happening to him. “Have a good life.” At the door, he turns and looks at us all and sighs. “Enjoy your messed up little family.”

Dad steps away from the stairs, like he’s going to come after Stosh, but Mom puts her hand out and blocks him with a hand against his stomach, stopping him in his tracks.

“Don’t,” she murmurs. “Just let him go.”

We all watch Stosh slink away and I frown. Okay, he may have had a point about the messed up part, right now, but he really didn’t have to say it out loud. 

We’re all still frozen, no one knowing quite what to say until Dad pats Mom’s hand, still on his stomach, and chuckles.

“I smell that the coffee brewed this morning while we were asleep. Who wants a cup?”

Grandpa raises his hand and chuckles. “I would like one, please.”

Mom slowly pulls her hand away from under Dad’s, rubs her face and sighs. “Can I just put a straw in the pot?”

Dad pats her again, on the shoulder this time, and smiles. “I have extra large mugs for mornings like this.”

“You have many mornings like this, do you?”

“Well, maybe not like this exactly.” Dad smirks as he turns to me. “Gracie, can you go find your brother, please? I’ll pour you guys a bowl of cereal and we can all talk.”

“Okay Dad!” I jump with excitement and scamper upstairs to find Phin.

Running past my room, I head to his and stop at the door. It is trashed. The Death Star is smashed, and his dresser is on the floor. There are toys and clothes everywhere and I wonder how much of it was already like this and how much he destroyed with his freak-out last night? There’s a lump in the bed and it looks like Dad slept next to him last night like Mom did with me, because the covers on the other side are pressed down. But he can’t be asleep still, can he? How did he sleep through that? I carefully step through the rubble to the lump and shake it.

“Phin?”

When he doesn’t respond, I pull back the covers to find a pillow and a bunch of clothes stuffed under, like he made a lump to resemble himself underneath. My body goes cold and I glance around the room, looking for signs of him.

“Phin?”

Crashing through the stuff, I head back out the door, towards the bathroom, and quickly knock before opening it. “Phin?”

He’s not in there, so I run to Dad’s room. Maybe he crawled into Dad’s bed? But when I get there, the room is empty. Now, my hands start to shake. If he was hiding in the house, he wouldn’t have made it look like he was still in bed. He must have done that when Dad was still asleep in there with him this morning.

Looking around the room, I groan in agony. “Ugh. Phin, you dummy. What did you do??”

My body feels heavy as I drag myself downstairs. When we find him, I’m going to kill him for leaving me to tell Mom and Dad he’s missing. I’m going to kill him for not telling me where he was going. I’m going to kill him just on principle for being such a dumbass.

I get to the kitchen and stop in the doorway, looking at Grandpa and Mom, sitting across the island from Dad as they drink their coffee and Dad pours milk into three huge bowls of cereal. Mom reaches across and pulls one towards her and nods to Dad in thanks.

Dad turns and smiles at me on his way back to the fridge. “Breakfast is ready. Where’s Phin.”

My mouth opens but I can’t get the words out. Dad must sense or see something is wrong in my face because he leaves the door of the fridge open and races to me.

“Gracie, what’s wrong?”

“He’s gone,” I croak as Dad crouches in front of me, gripping my shoulders. “He’s gone.”

In a flash, Mom is at my side, kneeling next to Dad, and her hand takes mine. “What do you mean, he’s gone? Gone where?”

“I...I don’t know…” I gasp.

Dad cringes and takes a deep breath before speaking, slowly. “Gracie. Please don’t tell me this was part of your plan.”

“NO! It wasn’t! Honest, Dad!” I look over at Mom and see her cheeks flush red as she realizes that Stosh may have been right about what we were up to.

“We believe you, Gracie,” Mom says with surprising calmness. “How do you know he’s gone and not just hiding? Did he leave a note?”

“A note?” That little fart-breath, stupid-head. He could have at least left me a note!! “No. I went to find him and he stuffed his bed to look like he was sleeping next to Dad. He must have slipped out while Dad was asleep.”

Dad releases me and falls back, sitting on the ground in shock. “I...I was so tired...I didn’t sleep last night and then you showed up, Veronica, and then calming him down and I must have…”

Mom shifts her attention to Dad, her hand moving to his shoulder. “It’s okay, Logan. I once slept straight through Phin barfing his guts out a few feet away from me. You were exhausted…”

“Yeah, but I should have felt him move or heard him…”

“Gracie, is anything taken from his room?” Grandpa asks from beside me and I shrug.

“I dunno. It’s crazy in there right now. I would have to look.”

“Oh God...what if…” Dad suddenly rises and starts to stagger past me. “What if he couldn’t sleep. What if he went for a swim by himself and…”

Grandpa catches him, gripping his shoulders. “Don’t think that way, Logan. We’ll check the pool room, but you have locks and security and…”

But Dad keeps going, racing towards the room as we follow, down the hallway to the French Doors. His hands are shaking as he punches in the numbers and pulls open the door, yelling into the big, empty room.

“PHIN!”

Mom is at his side and they step hesitantly to the pool together and I freeze, watching in horror as it all plays out. He can't be in the pool. That's not possible. He's a dumbass, but he's smarter than that...I know he is. I just know.

Their eyes skim the pool and Dad clutches his heart. “He’s not here. He’s not here. Oh, thank God...he’s not here.”

Mom grabs his arm and Dad pulls her into a hug and I hear her gasp, holding back tears as Dad rocks her, his eyes still on the water.

"He's okay, Logan. He's somewhere and he's okay. We just have to find him," Mom says.

I breathe a giant sigh of relief, and so does Grandpa beside me. He puts his arm around my shoulders and I lean against him, shaking a bit from the adrenaline rush of fear. Mom is still in Dad's arms, by edge of the water, talking in low voices.

"Don't worry, Gracie," Grandpa says, kissing my head. "We'll find your brother. It's going to be okay."

"Yeah. I know, Grandpa," I mutter back.

Yep. I’m definitely going to kill my brother. When we find him, that is.

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

I lead Mom and Grandpa upstairs to look for clues about where Phin could have run away to, replaying the events that led us to this point over and over in my brain in slow motion, like some bad dream on a loop. 

Once we searched and everyone agreed that he wasn't hiding in the house, Dad went through the outside security camera footage. It caught Phin leaving the garage, on his mountain bike with a backpack on, just after 7:00 a.m. It showed him going in the direction of the back gate, probably following our dirt bike tracks through the trees, while the sun was just rising. Dad decided to get dressed and jump on his dirt bike, hoping Phin was somewhere along our usual route through the woods, hiding out. Mom pointed out that Phin had a good four hours on us by this time, so he could almost be anywhere, but Dad said he had to follow that lead, even if it went cold. They decided not to call the police — apparently, no one had confidence in whoever this Sheriff Lamb was — and to handle it  _ ourselves _ , as Grandpa said.

Mom texted everyone we knew — Grandpa even gave her Uncle D's number — but one by one, they all replied that they hadn't seen or heard from Phin, but they would keep an eye out or join the search if needed. Uncle D actually called Mom when he got her text, and she had to leave the room when he started yelling in her ear. I assume she went somewhere to privately yell back at him because she came back into the room, flustered, saying she couldn't take just waiting around for Dad to get back and that we needed to get to the bottom of things now.

We stop at the open door to Phin's room, and Mom covers her mouth with her hand, gazing on the destruction.

"Oh my God…"

"What happened here, Gracie?" Grandpa asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I look back at him and sigh. "Phin and I heard Mom and Dad arguing downstairs last night. It upset Phin so badly that he came up here and trashed his room. Dad had to stop him."

Grandpa frowns down at me and nods. "I'm sorry you had to hear your parents argue, Gracie…" Grandpa glances quickly at Mom, and she avoids his eyes. "I know how hard that can be on kids. But I'm glad your dad helped calm Phin down. It looks like he could have hurt himself." 

Grandpa walks past me into the room, trying to avoid stepping on anything, and scratches his bald head as he looks around. I follow him in and look behind me to see Mom hanging out by the door, as if too afraid to see the full power of Phin's anger towards her unleashed. Her coat is now done up, so it looks like a long black dress over her pajamas, and she shoves her hands deep in the pockets.

"I know it's hard, Gracie," Grandpa asks quietly. "But did you notice anything different when you came in here before? Anything new or missing?"

I turn in my spot, looking around the room, and shrug. "I dunno. It's really hard to tell."

"Let's think of this another way…" Mom begins, venturing a little way into the room. "If he was running away, what would he need?" She starts to move towards the closet, avoiding the chaos of the overturned dresser as she walks. "He had his backpack, but if we knew what was inside, it could give us a clue. "

"I dunno. Clothes? Maybe a blanket?" I walk to the bed and hop on like it's an island. "Or sleeping bags! Dad bought us some a few years ago when we camped out in the back yard with him and Uncle D. Phin's should be in his closet. That's where mine is — in the bottom of my closet. It's blue."

"Looks like someone was in here…" Mom looks down, and I see that the door to the closet is open a bit already. "See how the stuff on the floor has been pushed back? It was opened after the destruction." She pulls it all the way open, pushing more junk on the floor and flicks on the light switch. She drops and crawls around on the bottom of the space. "I don't see a sleeping bag in here. That means, wherever he's going, he plans to stay gone for a while. At least overnight."

"If he was going somewhere for a while, he would need food," Grandpa says. "If Logan doesn't find him in the woods, we'll get him to check his pantry for any food that may be missing. Granola bars. Soda. Chips. Chocolate..."

Chocolate? Chocolate!

"Uncle D gave us money!" I exclaim with excitement. "Phin said he used it last year to buy all his buddies chocolate when we got home. He probably took it with him."

Mom frowns as she stands and puts her hands on her hips. "How much money?"

I shrug. "The usual…$100."

"Together?" Mom gasps.

"Each." I cringe, giving away our secret. "Uncle D gives us each a $100 bill for 'pocket money' every year and tells us not to buy drugs with it. We usually just spend it on stuff like magazines and comics and junk food during lunch hour at school."

Mom rolls her eyes to the ceiling and groans. "For the love of God…"

Grandpa holds up his hand to Mom. "No. This is good. It means he can keep himself  _ well _ fed. For a few days, if needed."

"Or he can get robbed for it," Mom snips. "Who gives a child a hundred dollars in cash?"

"Apparently Dick does." Grandpa chuckles. "And maybe that's not a bad thing right now. Gracie, is there any special restaurant in Neptune where Phin likes to eat? Or a particular place he likes to go when you're in town?"

I shrug again. "The boardwalk? The amusement park? The arcade? There's also that hot dog place near the beach that makes a taco-smokey-dog that he loves."

"Ugly Joe's," Mom mutters. "It's been there since I was your age."

She starts walking through the rubble again, headed towards the door, frowning like she's lost in thought as she moves.

"And he didn't give you any inkling that he was going to do this," Grandpa asks gently, coming to sit on the bed next to me.

I grit my teeth and cringe as my stomach turns at the memory of Phin's face on Christmas morning.

"Maybe? But I didn't know then."

"What is it, Gracie? What did he do or say?" Grandpa reaches out and takes my hand. "No one will be mad, I promise."

Not mad. Hurt. I know that what I'm about to say is going to hurt Mom. A lot. But they need to know what happened and how Phin felt if we're ever going to find him.

"On Christmas Day, Phin asked Dad if he could live with him, instead of going back to New York with Mom and me," I whisper. Looking up, I catch the pain that crosses Mom's face, and I look away towards Grandpa again. "Dad said that he couldn't — that Mom was the better every-day-parent and we belonged with her — and Phin was sad at first, but then he got this look in his eye like he was plotting something. But he didn't tell me about it, so I thought he just decided against whatever it was."

"Our plane leaves in forty-eight hours. He probably ran away, thinking he could stay in Neptune if he missed our flight home — " Mom crosses her arms over her chest and sighs, long and loud, staring at the ground. " — so he didn't have to come home with me."

"So if he's been planning this for a few days, he may have been prepared with the backpack…" Grandpa murmurs. "He could have been thinking about running away the night before you guys left. Maybe to avoid saying goodbye to Logan? Or to force  _ your _ hand and let him stay here? But then he heard you and Logan arguing and just decided to bolt sooner?"

"Did he really think I would leave without him? That I would leave my baby boy and go back to New York without a care?" Mom blurts, her hands shaking as she runs them through her hair. "Is that what we've come to? That he thinks I don't love him?"

Grandpa rises from the bed and makes his way over to Mom, opening his arms to wrap around her. Her head falls to his shoulder as she hugs him.

"I messed up everything, Dad," I hear her whisper. "I messed everything up so badly that my own son can't even stand to be around me anymore."

“We’ll find him, Veronica, safe and sound. There isn’t a parent alive that doesn’t regret something they did at some point. Or a child who never hated their parent, at least once in their lives,” Grandpa says, patting her back before releasing her.

Mom wipes her eyes and chuckles, shaking her head. “I never hated you, Dad. Ever.”

He squeezes her shoulder with a smile. “We still have time for that then.”

Mom gives a little snort-laugh and shakes her head again as she leans against the door frame. “Just try not to see that as a life goal, Dad.”

I jump off the bed and come over to Grandpa, and he takes my hand and looks down at me, smiling warmly. “Now, both of you, think back...is there anything out of the ordinary that you remember from this morning? Something that wasn’t there before in the house when we searched it? Or anything missing, Gracie?”

My heart starts to race even faster than it's been. The pressure of looking for him and hoping and then not finding him. It's like my brain is short-circuiting. 

"I don't know…"

“Close your eyes, sweetheart, and breathe,” Mom instructs, gently placing her hands on my shoulders. “Think back all the way to the beginning of today, when we woke up, and walk yourself through everything that's happened already. What do you remember seeing or hearing?”

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and exhale slowly, trying to focus. “I...I woke up when I heard Stosh yelling your name. I looked at the clock. I heard Stosh again. You got out of my bed and went to the open door. I got up and saw Dad outside the door…”

“The open door!” Mom gasps, and I open my eyes. “It wasn’t open when we went to sleep. I closed it behind me when I came in, to give us some privacy while we talked.”

“Could Phin have come into your room before he left? Maybe to hide a note for you to find later?” Grandpa asks.

But before I can answer, Mom is already hurrying back to my room, pushing the door all the way open and turning on the lights. We follow behind her as she continues in, freezing as she looks around the room.

“Is there anything different in  _ here _ , Gracie?” she asks.

Cautiously, I walk into the room, glancing around. Everything seems normal. No drawers open. Nothing moved—nothing out of place. Slowly, I make my way around the perimeter, looking over my toys, my dresser with a couple of pictures and some Legos on top. My dressing table with my makeup and nail-case open on…

“Grrrrrrr!” I pull my nail case all the way open and find one very important slot empty. “He stole my money from Uncle D! That twerp!”

“Okay, so he has  _ a lot _ of money for food,” Grandpa mutters. “He’s set for a few days, if necessary.”

“Yes, but we’ll find him before then,” Mom says. “Good work, Gracie. Is there anything else?”

Well, now I’m really pissed off. He didn’t tell me. He made me worry. He made everyone worry. And now he stole from me. Definitely going to kill him. Opening the drawer on my dressing table, I don’t find anything unusual, so I slam it hard, making the mirror rattle.

“Gracie…” Mom puts her hand on my shoulder, and I slip away from her.

“My brother really sucks.” Walking over to my closet, I open it, look inside, then shove the door closed again. “Like he couldn’t have told me what he was doing or planning or anything? We tell each other everything! That’s what we do!!!”

I stomp to my side table and open it, finding nothing. I bang it shut again, and my lamp wobbles from side to side.. Mom steadies it as I crawl over my bed and open the other side table. I see nothing, and as I’m about to slam it, I realize….

“It’s gone!”

“What’s gone, Gracie?” Grandpa asks, stepping quickly across the room to me.

I peer into the empty drawer, feeling tears start to prick my eyes. “He took it from me. He took the picture of Mom and Dad at their wedding.”

Mom drops next to me on the bed and puts her hand on my shoulder. “What? Our wedding picture? How do you have….”

“Dad!” I gasp, unable to hold back my tears, and I have to explain as I sob. “Dad has it. He usually keeps it hidden in his side table, but he lets me keep it in my drawer when I come here. And Phin took it! He took it from me, and it’s the only one!”

I fall back a bit, and Mom guides me into her arms as I cover my face and cry. 

“It’s not the only one. I promise you, it's not the only picture,” she whispers as she rocks me. “And we’ll get that one back when we find your brother. It’s okay, Gracie. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

When Grandpa sits near us, I open my eyes and sniffle, and he looks at me sadly. “Gracie, do you think that may be where Phin is hiding out? At the beach?”

“I dunno…” I shrug. “I mean, he could be. We’ve recognized the spot when we’ve been down to that area of the beach, and Dad even told us it was the spot.”

“And it happens to be about a block away from Ugly Joe’s Hot Dogs,” Mom states with a small smile. “The lifeguard tower would offer him some degree of ability to hide if he saw anyone out looking for him. Or he could blend in with the other kids that hang out on the beach and the boardwalk during the day.”

“With his bike, he could even come back to the woods behind our house to sleep and feel safer near home,” Grandpa adds.

Mom shrugs. “It’s not a definite, but right now, it’s the only lead we have.”

Grandpa stands and pulls his phone out of his shirt pocket. “I’ll call Logan and see if he’s found anything. If not, you guys should head to the beach, just to check it out. I’ll go home and check for….” 

Grandpa frowns for a second at his phone and then rolls his eyes, holding it up towards Mom. 

“I was going to say I would go home and check for signs of Phin, but it seems as though I have to let your ex-fiance into my house to get his things. I forgot he has no keys.”

Mom squints at the phone, reading the text before Grandpa pulls it away while she cringes. “I’m so, so sorry, Dad.”

With a chuckle, Grandpa scratches his cheek and shakes his head. “Well, I already had to deal with him this morning when he got up and realized you weren’t there. Might as well continue the trend.”

“Oh God, Dad…”

Grandpa just holds his hand up to stop her. “Don’t worry, Veronica. After pulling out all those old photos in an attempt to tweak some emotions out of you, I feel like I deserve to be the one who handles Piz.”

Letting go of me, Mom stands and pulls Grandpa into a big hug, and I’m worried that she’s going to cry again.

“Thank you for the reminder of what I once had, Dad. I think I was beginning to forget.”

He pats her back, and I swear it looks like he’s the one who’s going to cry, which is about to make me cry more. But he pulls it together and smiles at Mom.

“We all need second chances in life, Veronica. Whether we feel we deserve them or not. And you are most deserving of another chance at happiness. So is Logan."

Stepping away from Mom, Grandpa nods at me and walks to the door, texting Stosh as he goes.

For a second, Mom and I just take in the silence. I hope Phin is there. I hope he’s all right. I hope we all get our second chance.

My thoughts are broken by Mom, turning to me with a small smile on her face. “Get dressed, Gracie. We need to bring your brother home.”


	16. Chapter 16

Dad pulls the SUV to a stop and puts it in park on a side street near the boardwalk, and Mom turns to him and frowns.

“Why are we stopping here?”

“We’ll walk the rest of the way, just in case he's watching the parking lot. If he is around this area, I don’t want to spook him into running again. I mean, I chose the least flashy car in the garage, but still, he’d recognize the Range Rover if he saw it.”

Mom sighs as she undoes her seatbelt and opens the front door. I undo mine and scamper from the back seat, meeting her on the sidewalk as she stops to tighten Dad’s huge sweat pants around her tiny waist. Mom's also wearing one of his big sweatshirts underneath her coat, still in her flip-flops, because Dad forced her to wear something other than just her pajamas and a coat to the chilly beach. She tried to tame her crazy hair into a ponytail on the drive, but she still looks exhausted, even if she does have less bed-head. She ties the belt to her coat just as Dad joins us on the sidewalk. He reaches his hand out to me, and I take it with a small smile.

“Okay, let’s find him,” Mom says and walks in front of us, starting down the sidewalk in the direction of the beach, and we continue after her, scanning everyone and everything as we pass.

For New Year’s Day, it’s surprisingly busy, probably with tourists. As I walk, my eyes snoop through the windows of the shops we walk by, hoping to see Phin inside, and every time I don't find him, my heart falls a little.

When we approach Ugly Joe’s Hot Dogs, Mom quickens her pace, and we follow behind. Mom almost races in when she reaches the doors, and even though there's a line, she goes straight past everyone to the counter.

“Excuse me!” she says to the three teenage boys at the register, not waiting for an answer before talking to the older man behind the counter. “Have you served a young boy today? He would have been on his own. About yay high…” She puts her hand up to her shoulders. “Had on a dark blue backpack…” She turns towards Dad as we stand behind her and jerks her thumb at him. “Kinda looks like him, but much younger, and with blue eyes. Probably paid with cash.”

The man looks from Dad to Mom with a confused frown before he nods. “Could have been the kid who was waiting outside when I opened up. He was my first customer. Came in and ordered three taco-dogs with the works and three Skist. I remember because I had to give him a lot of twenties from my fresh till because he paid with a hundred dollar bill. I just figured his parents sent him in with it.”

Dad smiles and rests his hand on Mom’s shoulder. “That would be him. He has his mother’s eyes and her appetite.”

I stifle a giggle, which Mom ignores, leaning closer to the man across the counter. “What time was that?”

“One-o’clock. We opened late because it’s New Year’s Day.”

“He didn’t by any chance say where he was going with those dogs, did he?”

“He said he was spending the day at the beach with his family, and then he left. I figured he would be meeting...well...I guess it would be you guys if you’re looking for him.”

Mom nods and backs away from the counter. “Yes. It is. Thanks so much.”

As Mom walks quickly to the door, Dad steps up to the counter and smiles at the teenagers Mom cut in front of. Pulling out his wallet, he drops a fifty on the counter and nods to the man. “This is for whatever these dudes want. On me.” 

With that, he catches my hand again and we start to walk away, but I peek over my shoulder to watch the boys behind us.

“Hey, man! That’s awesome!!” one says and smiles at me. He’s kinda tall and skinny with red hair and freckles, and I feel my heart flutter just a bit.

“Thanks, old man. I hope you find your kid!” another one calls out, and I feel Dad jerk to a stop at the door and frown at Mom. She just rolls her eyes at him and smirks before pushing the door open for all of us.

“Old man?” Dad mutters under his breath as we continue down the sidewalk.

Mom adjusts her big purse higher on her shoulder and shakes her head. “Are you going to obsess?”

“We haven’t even cracked thirty yet. How am I now an ‘old man’?’”

With a little snort, Mom throws a look over her shoulder at Dad and sighs. “We thought this was old when we were teenagers too.”

“No. Can’t be. Everyone was much older when we were that age.”

“Did you know, Miss Phelps, our seventh grade English teacher, was younger than we are now? She was twenty-five.” Mom stops at the crosswalk and turns towards the beach, waiting patiently for the cars to pass. “I know because I overheard Dad talking to my mother one morning about seeing her that night at some beach kegger he shut down one night.”

“Okay, well, that I can see. All of us boys had a crush on her. Especially Dick. She was definitely the cool teacher."

"And now we have two kids that are coming up on that age…"

Dad pretends to gag, and Mom giggles at him. "Don't remind me. I really don't like the thought of them crushing on their older teachers."

I can’t help but smile at the banter between my parents. Even with everything going on, after their fight and the kiss and Phin, they've fallen into this...thing...like they've been best friends forever. Like when Stella and I are together in school. It just feels good and right to be by their side.

The cars clear, and Mom takes my free hand as we start to cross the street to the beach. Even with the drama of the morning, as I walk between them, my heart swells. I've never had this. Never had one on each hand. And it feels so amazing that I want to find Phin just so he can feel as good as I do right now.

We stop near a bench at the edge of the sand and look across the beach. It's not too busy, but enough people are milling about — walking dogs, sitting on blankets and talking, a couple of crazy surfers near the cold ocean water — to keep us from having a clear view of everyone. I look across to the big, white lifeguard tower close to the water, and Mom squeezes my hand, her breath hiccuping as she points at the building.

There's the shape of a person, tucked in near one of the tower's legs, on the other side of the ramp. From here, I can't tell if it's Phin or not, and Dad’s grip tightens on my hand. Then, I see it...a small drone appears from around the building, zips through the air and flies a little way before turning and heading back to the person controlling it. I gasp, about to scream with excitement, but manage to hold it in. 

"It's him…" Dad murmurs.

"How do you know?" Mom asks. "I can't tell from here."

"I bou….SANTA brought…" Dad coughs as he corrects himself. "...the kids mini-drones. Phin and Gracie have been using them in the gardens."

I watch in shock as the drone rises again, and suddenly, Mom drops my hand and begins marching across the sand. Dad steps away from me and grabs her shoulder, and she stops.

"Veronica. Don't. We don't want to scare him."

"Logan, I…"

"Please, Veronica…" Dad takes Mom's hand in his and squeezes it. "We'll go together. Calmly. Quietly."

And that's when she inhales, deeply, calmly, and when she exhales, it's like she just gives in completely. 

"You're right. I was just so…"

"...I know. I feel it too. But let's get him together."

Mom nods, then turns back towards the tower, still holding Dad's hand tightly as they walk, and I follow behind, watching their arms swing slightly together as they move.

As we get closer, I hear her say softly to Dad, "It looks just the same."

He squeezes her hand, and she moves even closer to him as he smiles at her. "It only feels like a lifetime ago since we were here."

When we get close to the tower, Dad leads us wide around the back of it to approach Phin from the side. The drone goes up, and Phin quickly stands, oblivious that his family is just a couple of yards behind him. For a moment, we stop and watch as he flies it straight up and then down to land on his hand.

That's when Mom lets go of Dad's hand and steps toward him, but Phin suddenly turns, realizing he has company. For a second, from the look of fear in his eyes, I worry he's going to run, but Mom stops, as if not to corner him more.

"Hey," she says, quietly.

"Hey," Phin mutters back.

"You picked a good spot to run away to…" Mom continues, glancing around. "It's beautiful here."

Phin looks down at his drone and shrugs. "It's okay."

"Okay?" Mom scoffs and stuffs her hands in her pockets. "It has everything, the gorgeous view of the ocean, the sand, the cool tower. The proximity to Ugly Joe's."

Phin nods but doesn't look up, and Mom takes a hesitant step towards him. I reach out and take Dad's hand, but we both keep our eyes on Phin. I wonder if Dad is planning on tackling him if he runs? Because if he doesn't, I will.

"You know...you have a special connection to that hot dog stand," Mom says, trying to sound casual, but I know she's upset inside. "Did your Dad tell you?"

Phin looks up at her finally and frowns. "Tell me what?"

Mom presses her hands to her belly, and she takes another small step towards him. "When we got married, your dad wanted to take all of our friends out for a very fancy dinner. So he booked a private room at Chez Monique for later that day, except by the time the ceremony was over, I was nauseous from morning sickness and lack of food." She looks back over her shoulder at Dad and smiles, and that's when I see the tears in her eyes. "So we all went to Ugly Joe's for hot dogs first." 

Turning back to Phin, she laughs a little. "I got the chili dog with pickles. It's amazing that way, let me say. Anyway, Aunty Mac was so worried I'd ruin my dress before we got to the fancy restaurant that she draped me in napkins. We all sat on the boardwalk, eating hot dogs as our informal wedding reception. It was the first of many chili dogs I ate while I was pregnant with you and your sister. And that's why you like the dogs there so much….Ugly Joe's is in your blood!"

I can tell Phin is trying to hold back a smile as he looks between Mom and Dad, and he drops his head to look down at the sand, to hide it.

"I didn't know that," he mutters.

"There's a lot you don't know, Phin. And that's okay. I take the blame." Her breath is shaky, but she carries on. "It's hard to understand, but sometimes, when something is over, the memory of it still hurts our heart — even if it was a good memory. It makes us sad because it's over. And that's why I never talked about those good times with your Dad. Because when I remembered them, my heart broke all over again."

I go closer to Dad and wrap myself around his arm, watching Mom and Phin try to come to some peace.

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" Phin mutters, looking Mom straight in the eye. "If it hurt so much, why did you leave with us?"

"I was scared. That's the terrible truth. I could give you all the excuses in the world, Phin, but honestly, I was terrified. I was so terrified of everything at that time. I didn't know how to make my marriage work, and I thought my dreams were slipping from me. And I had two beautiful babies that I just wanted the best for, but had no idea how to do that, so I ran from everything so I could try again. I took you two because I was selfish, and I needed you both with me. I needed to still love you every day and feel that love come back to me." 

Mom raises her eyes to the sky and sighs before looking back at Phin. "And I denied that to your father, and your grandfather, because of my anger and fear and sadness, and that was so wrong."

"But, you said you still love Dad…" Phin's voice rises a bit when he looks at Dad and me, then back to Mom. "And he still loves you. So why did you do it, if you both love each other? I just don't understand."

"Because Phin, sometimes love is complicated. But what's not complicated is my love for you and your sister. It's a love like I never even imagined it could be."

"So you love Gracie and me. And you also love Dad. What about Piz? Why did you say you would marry him, if you love Dad?"

"That's just as complicated. But different complicated." Mom lets out a long sigh and shrugs. "On our first date, Piz was kind and funny and sweet and it was nice to have someone who genuinely wanted to talk about the same things I wanted to. And I didn't realize until then how much I missed having another adult to be with, to laugh with, to talk about you both with. And frankly, I care deeply about him, but I honestly can't say that I loved him. It sounds terrible, and I feel terrible saying it, but it's the truth."

"But, how can you marry him?" Phin gasps in shock.

"I'm not. I called things off after I started being honest about my feelings." Mom shakes her head, raising her left hand and pointing to her empty finger. "See, you run away, and you miss me breaking up with Piz."

"It was a real show!" I pipe up, seeing my chance and taking it. "Mom slapped him!"

"Gracie…" Dad sighs. "Not now."

Phin looks back between Mom and me, his mouth open in shock at my revelation, and I don't know if it's the idea of Mom slapping Stosh or the fact that he missed it that makes him look that way.

"Oh, and I know you took my stuff, and I want my hundred dollars and my picture back, fart-breath. With interest for torturing me like this!"

"Gracie!" Dad snaps. "Not the time, I said."

Phin scowls at me and kneels down next to his backpack, and sighs. 

"Fine. I didn't even use it." He unzips the front and stuffs the drone inside. Digging into another pocket, he pulls out the photo and the hundred dollar bill.

Mom puts her palm out, and Phin stands, grudgingly placing the photo in her hand and the money on top.

"Thank you, Phin," she says and opens her purse. 

Fishing out her long, red leather wallet, she opens it and puts the money inside. 

"Gracie, you said you were worried that this was the only copy of our wedding photo…" 

Mom unzips a compartment of her wallet and takes out a piece of folded paper before dropping the wallet back into her open purse, still holding the paper and the photo. Carefully, she unfolds the paper, so it's spread out on top of the picture, and I realize it's another picture. Holding one in each hand, she shows them to Phin before turning to me, and I gasp.

The deep crease in the photo runs between Mom and Dad, almost separating them with the cracks, the other crease cutting them off around the hips.

"There were two copies. We had one in our bedroom and one on the mantle in our house," Mom begins, quietly, her eyes focusing on Dad now. "The night I left, I took the picture from our bedroom. When we moved to New York, and I was unpacking, I pulled it out, and it was like it was taunting me, so I pulled out the picture and stuck in a new picture of you and Phin instead. But I didn't have the heart to throw out our only wedding picture, so I folded it up and put it in my wallet for safekeeping."

"Sometimes, I would remember it was in there and pull it out, and it would remind me of what we had, and I would get sad and happy at the same time, so I would put it in my wallet again." Her breath is shaky again when she pauses. "But I never threw it away. Every time I got a new wallet, I made sure it would fit, and I would transfer it in. It was the one memory that I couldn't bear to erase."

Dad steps closer to her, and I let go of his arm, watching him take the photos from Mom, looking down at her.

"All these years, you kept me with you?"

"Yes. Every day. You were always there. Always with me. And I'm sorry I made it so you couldn't be there, in person, but you were always there, in my heart, Logan."

My chest feels hard, and my eyes blur from tears that seem to come from nowhere. 

Dad offers Mom his hand, and she takes it. With a little tug, he starts to lead her off a little way, and I slowly walk up to Phin as we both watch them move. Dad suddenly stops and takes the pictures from Mom's other hand. He holds them up towards the tower and frowns a bit.

"I think this is the spot, give or take a few inches."

Mom covers her mouth as she lets out a nervous laugh, and I can see the tears starting to fall down her face.

Lowering the pictures, Dad looks down at Mom, and I grab Phin's arm, making sure he doesn't run while they're distracted. But the way he looks at me, I realize he won't, and he grabs my hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

"I don't know how it will work…" Dad begins slowly, still holding Mom's hand. "Or if it will work, but Veronica, I want us to try again. I want us to find out how we can make it work — go to counselling, read books, just...talk. Not for the kids, but for us. For ourselves. Because I still love you, and now that I know that you still love me, I think we owe it to ourselves to try again. Don't you?"

Mom sniffles and wipes her eyes. "I want that too. I'm so tired of trying to hide my feelings. So tired of running from them. So tired of everything."

Dad lets go of her hand and brings his to her cheek, and my heart starts skipping when she puts her hand over his and rises up on her toes to kiss him softly.

They continue to kiss, and I hear Phin sniffling next to me.

"Was this part of your plan?" I whisper.

"No. I just wanted to stay in Neptune," Phin whispers back, wiping his tears. "I think this may be better."

Mom wraps her arms around Dad's head, and they continue to kiss, completely oblivious to the fact that their children and like, the entire beach are watching them, and I cringe.

"Do ya think they'll always be like this?" I mutter.

"Ew. I hope not."

They must have heard Phin because they finally release each other, laughing, and Dad takes Mom's hand again as they walk back to us.

"Well, it seems that we have a lot to talk about…" Dad says with a grin. "But I think first things first. Phin, let's grab your bike from wherever you stashed it and throw it in the Rover. Then, we're going to head home, and everyone is going to take a very, very long nap." 

He reaches out and playfully rubs Phin's hair. "Then, when we all wake up, we’re going to talk. We're going to talk about why running away is never a good idea…" Dad gives Phin this look that says everything about how much trouble Phin is still in, and Phin lowers his head and nods. 

"...and why plotting against your family is also wrong…" He focuses on me with the same look he gave Phin, and my whole body goes hot with embarrassment. "...and just generally issue some blanket apologies for some of the stunts pulled this Christmas. Sound good?"

"I second everything your father said…" Mom interjects before we can respond. "...but I would like to add going back to Ugly Joe's for hot dogs on the way home because not only am I exhausted, I'm also starving."

"Good idea!" Phin exclaims. "I'm starving too."

"They told us you bought three taco dogs today!" I gasp in horror.

Phin shrugs. "I could eat again."

Stepping away from Dad, Mom walks over to Phin, opening her arms. He immediately lets go of my hand and walks into her arms, giving her a big hug in return. 

"Oh, Phin, I love you so very, very much." Mom's eyes get teary again, and she sighs as she opens her mouth to talk. "You may have my eyes and my stomach, but let's talk later about you  _ not _ inheriting my instinct to run away as well. Okay? Because it doesn't seem to make anyone happy, including ourselves."

"Okay, Mom," he says and puts his head against Mom's shoulder. "You're right. I was really scared."

"I know, sweetheart. It _ is _ scary. It's so scary, and it hurts so much. So let's not do it again. Let's talk about our feelings instead. Can we both learn to do that together?"

"Yeah. I think we can."

"Good." Mom lets go of Phin and stands, wiping her eyes. "I think that will help us a lot."

Dad comes over to Mom's side and wraps his arm around her waist, kissing the side of her head.

"Come on. Let's get everyone fed and home."

Phin nods and walks over to his backpack, zipping it up and grabbing his bike helmet beside it before tossing it over his shoulder. He comes back to Mom and takes her hand.

And as we all walk down the beach, together, hand in hand, my heart feels like it's about to fly right out of my body.


	17. Chapter 17

"Now...this one is a favourite…" Grandpa shows the picture to Alicia next to him at the table, and they both smile.

"Oh, I remember those days," Alicia sighs and puts her head on Grandpa's shoulder. "They were so tiny!"

"What is it, Grandpa?" Phin asks from across the table.

Grandpa flips the photo around towards us, and I lean in to see it. Alicia is sitting on Grandpa's couch, holding both of us up on her chest, one on each shoulder, and she's laughing at the camera. We are so tiny and both wrapped in matching blankets with only our little blond heads peeking out, so I can't tell which one of us is which.

Mom laughs and takes it, holding it so she and Dad can look at it better. Phin sits in the chair next to Dad, and I'm next to Mom, and we both lean in a bit to see it.

"You know, if it wasn't for you both, Alicia and Grandpa wouldn't have started dating again?" Mom says, looking between Phin and me.

"Really?" Phin says, turning towards Grandpa and Alicia. "You guys dated before?"

Grandpa wraps his arm around Alicia, and they nod at Phin. 

"We did. Once upon a time," Alicia explains. "And it didn't work out, so we went our separate ways. But when Wallace told me that Veronica was pregnant, I called Keith to see if he needed...well...a  _ woman _ around to help."

"Alicia and I started getting together for coffee, just to talk about things, while your mom was still pregnant. She recommended books, and I would buy them for your mom and dad. She was a person I could start to count on for a kind ear," Grandpa adds. 

"Then one day, after you were born, your Grandpa called me in a panic — he offered to watch you both so your parents could go on a little date, have some time to themselves, and, well, he was feeling  _ outnumbered _ …." Alicia laughs.

"And the rest, as they say, is history." Grandpa gives Alicia a quick kiss on the cheek, and she gasps.

"History! It took you almost six years of being friends for you to ask me out again!"

Grandpa rubs his bald head and chuckles. "I didn't think you wanted a relationship. I thought we were just going to be friends for the rest of our lives."

"We are," Alicia says. "We have a perfect relationship. You have your space, I have mine, we're friends, and we’re in love. What could be better than that?"

"You could get married?" I say, and they both laugh.

"We like this just fine right now, Gracie." Alicia winks at me. "We've both tried being married. It's not for us."

"Fun fact…" Dad interjects. "The reason Grandpa was babysitting was that I planned this romantic lunch at Mama Leone's for your mom and me that day…"

"But I fell asleep on the drive to the restaurant," Mom interjects with a sigh.

"So I left her sleeping in the car, ran in to get them to wrap up our food to go…"

"...and instead, we ended up renting a room at the Camelot hotel for the afternoon, devouring lunch while sitting on the bed, and taking a blissfully uninterrupted three-hour nap." Mom's eyelashes flutter at the memory. "It was the best nap of my life." Dad wraps his arm around Mom's shoulders, and she leans into him. "Although today's nap came a close second."

My stomach does little flips when Dad kisses the side of Mom's head, and she grins, a look of pure joy spread across her entire face. 

When we got home from the beach, Dad insisted that we were all going to cram ourselves into his bed for a nap once everyone took a shower and changed out of our sandy clothes. He said he just needed to know where everyone was, which considering what we just went through with Phin was completely fair. Mom agreed, and so we all climbed into his huge bed — Dad on one end, with Phin and me in the middle, and Mom (dressed in another pair of Dad's sweats and a fresh t-shirt) on the other — and settled in for a long nap. I was the first to get up, scooting carefully to the bottom of the bed to not disturb anyone else, but when I slowly opened Dad's door, he and Mom immediately woke up. I kinda felt bad because everyone had been sleeping so soundly, but then Phin woke up as they were talking, and we all ended up coming downstairs to ‘talk’. Dad poured coffee for he and Mom, then they both started to lecture me about how wrong my ‘plan’ was (even if it worked), and then Phin about running away (even though Mom did it too.) 

Grandpa and Alicia arrived with Chinese food for dinner, just as we were all at the hugging end of the conversation. Mom was very relieved that Grandpa also brought her a change of ‘real’ clothes from his house. After we ate, Grandpa pulled out his shoe-boxes of photos, and everyone started to weed through them, the grown-ups telling us stories from those times.

All throughout, Mom and Dad stayed close, sitting next to each other at the table. When she laughed, Mom's eyes would light up in a way I had never seen, and she would touch Dad's arm when she did. Dad barely took his eyes off her, wearing this twisty little grin on his face since the moment she came back downstairs — in black jeans and a black t-shirt — and sat down next to him. But while Mom had no problem touching him, Dad seemed to hesitate at first, keeping his hands near her, but never making contact, and it made me wonder why. But when the photos came out, he changed. Sharing his memories with us seemed to soften his heart even more.

"I didn't realize how amazing napping was until I became a parent," Dad says with a laugh. "Even when the kids aren't here, I have been known to take a spontaneous nap or two."

Ugh. We all go quiet. Just like that, the reality of us leaving comes crashing down on us.

"So…" Grandpa coughs, glancing between Mom and Dad. "Do you want me to drive you and the kids to the airport, Veronica, or is Logan going to drive you this year?"

"I...I don't know?" Mom stammers, looking at Dad, and then Grandpa. "Other than committing to try and work things out, Logan and I really haven't had time to talk about what that looks like going forward."

Phin and I look at each other and frown. If they're trying to work on things, how will us leaving town help?

"If I could point out…" Alicia starts, and she wrinkles her nose at Mom. "Piz will be on the same flight as you…"

Mom squeezes her eyes shut and groans, rubbing her face with her palms. "Sitting next to us. I didn't even consider that."

"Most awkward flight, ever," I mutter.

"Maybe I can switch the flight. I know it's a busy time, but maybe for a fee…" Mom starts, pulling her phone from her back pocket and punching in the code. "But we were flying out early in the morning because I have work the next day and the kids have school, and we'll be so jet-lagged..."

Dad reaches over and puts his hand on her wrist, gently coaxing her phone down from in front of her face.

"OR...maybe we can talk about chartering a private plane to take you back to New York?"

PRIVATE PLANE?! My mouth drops open. I know Dad is rich. I didn't think he was private plane rich.

"Logan, we don't need a private plane…" Mom starts. "I just need to see about changing our tickets, that's all."

Letting out a little huff of annoyance, Dad purses his lips for a second before continuing. 

"Veronica, part of  _ trying again _ is learning how to accept my help. This is me getting my family home, safe and sound, no matter the cost. Please. Let me help you solve this problem."

Mom bites her lip and nods. "Fine. You can look into it. But we really should talk more about what  _ trying again _ looks like."

"Then why don't you stay and help me tuck the kids in tonight, and we can talk about it after they go to sleep. I can call you an Uber later to take you back to Keith's, or you can crash in one of the guest rooms." Dad tilts his head to the side and gives her a small smile. "We can sit down and figure out a plan for  _ us _ , going forward."

"I think that's a good idea." Mom puts her phone down on the table and gently takes Dad's hand. "We only have tomorrow together. And the kids need to pack, and I need to pack…" Dad leans over and kisses her forehead, and little butterflies start dancing in my belly when she smiles at him. "Okay. I'll stay. And we'll start to figure things out together."

Grandpa sighs and pushes his chair back, scratching his cheek as he looks over the pictures spread across the table.

"Well then, if my chauffeur services are not needed…" He begins to slowly collect up the pictures, gently putting them back in the shoe box. "...then it may be time for Alicia and me to leave, so you can start to get the kids ready for bed. It's almost  _ my _ bedtime too."

Mom lets go of Dad's hand and stands, starting to round up the pictures on our side. We all follow their lead and start gathering the pictures in front of us.

Raising her head to look at Grandpa, Mom takes a long, slow breath, like she's gearing up to say something big.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for bringing these tonight. I'm glad that you've been such an important part of the kids' lives in Neptune."

"Of course I would be, Veronica. Just because you left didn't mean I would abandon the kids or Logan."

Placing the photos in her hand down, Mom starts to chew her nail — the signal that I know means she's confused about something. Right now, she looks more lost than anything.

"I...what I mean to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left the way I did. And I'm sorry that you didn't get to be part of the kids' lives every day like you were in the beginning."

As her hand skims the photos, focusing back on gathering them again, Grandpa reaches over and puts his hand over hers.

"And I'm sorry I didn't try harder to get you to come back, Veronica. I thought that I was being supportive by letting you go. Turns out, I was just complicit. And I should have tried harder."

When she raises her head, Mom blinks back tears. Pushing the chair back, she walks around the table, and Grandpa meets her, giving her a big hug.

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Veronica."

I scoot over Mom's chair to Dad and hug his arm, and he gives me a kiss on the head. It's good to know that my family will still always love me even when I mess up. Because let's be honest...Mom screwed up big time. But the people that love her still love her.

Quietly, Grandpa and Mom let go of each other and get back to the task of putting the pictures away.

Dad stands and starts to help, and so do we, watching our faces get stacked back up together. There were so many stories tonight. Some I had heard, some I hadn’t. But as everyone told them and shared them, it felt like my heart was healing from the last few days.

He stops for a second and pulls another picture from the pile, smiling down at it before lifting it up towards Grandpa.

"You mind if I keep this one for a while, Keith, so I can make a copy?"

Phin and I both pull ourselves up a bit on the table to see which picture Dad has. I recognize the deep green colour of Grandpa's back porch. Dad is sitting on the steps with me on his lap, and Mom is sitting with Phin on hers. And she has her head on Dad's shoulder, and her eyes are closed, but she has a soft smile like she's content. And then there's Dad, looking like he just won a lottery, and us laughing at the camera.

"How old were we?" I ask Dad, but Mom beats him to answer.

"You were two," she says, stopping what she's doing to look at us, with sadness in her eyes. "That photo was taken a few weeks before we left."

"It's the last time we were a family," Phin murmurs.

"All right. We need to change how we talk about this — all of us." Dad sighs. "We have  _ always _ been a family. We were a family when it was just your mom and me and your Grandpa. And then you guys were born, and we were a bigger family. But then, when we divorced, you and your mom were a family in New York, but that doesn't mean that Grandpa and I weren't still a part of your lives. And when you are here, we are a family, that includes Uncle Dick, and Alicia, and Uncle Wallace and Aunty Jackie, and Aunty Mac and Aunty Janet." Dad takes a deep breath and exhales. "It would have also included Piz if...you know...things turned out differently…" His lips twitched, and I know he's holding back a smile but keeps going. "Gracie and Phin, your mother and I want to try again, but nothing is for sure, and if it doesn't end up working out, you need to remember we have always been and always will be a family — we just don't look like the kind you see on TV or in movies. And that's okay too. Okay?"

Dad flips the photo towards me and then Phin. "The reason I wanted this picture is it's the last photo of your mother and me together." He looks over at Mom and nods. "I wanted it so I could look at it as a goal. For us to be happy together again. To work through the things that were happening behind the scenes of this photo. That's why I wanted it."

Mom puts down the photos and walks around to Dad, and he steps away from the table to meet her, wrapping her in his arms.

"I want that too," she whispers and rises to place a kiss on his lips.

"Ugh." Phin cringes and looks away, and I can't help but do the same. I mean, the kiss on New Year's Eve was one thing, but then there was their gross make-out at the beach, and now this...it's getting to be much.

"Are you guys going to be like this all the time?" I ask. 

In response, Dad lifts Mom off her feet and presses his lips on her harder as Mom giggles against his mouth. Grandpa and Alicia start to laugh, and I shiver and look away. 

"Get used to it, kids." Grandpa laughs. "I sure had to once upon a time."

Dad lowers Mom to the ground and chuckles. "You asked for this. You both wanted us together. And this is us. Together."

There's a tickle of excitement in my belly that mixes up the weird queasiness of seeing my parents kissing like they're teenagers making out on a bench in Central Park. They're together. Even though I'm not really sure what that means yet if we're headed back to New York.

"Both of you — say good-bye and good night to Grandpa and Alicia — then head upstairs to put on your pajamas and brush your teeth," Mom instructs like we're back at home. "You can read in bed until your Dad and I come and tuck you in."

"You make them read before bed?" Dad frowns down at Mom. "They never told me that."

Mom arches her eyebrow at us, stepping away from Dad and crossing her arms. "They told me that you do."

Busted! Backing away from the table, I cringe. "Really? Huh. I could have sworn you knew…"

Phin darts past them to Alicia and quickly hugs her. "Good night, Alicia. Happy New Year!"

Mom is giggling, and when I reach Grandpa, he just smirks before leaning in to give me a great big hug. "Good night, Gracie. I love you."

"Love you too, Grandpa."

He lets me go, and I smile, changing places with Phin to hug Alicia. "Good night, sweetheart. Sleep well." 

"Good night, Alicia."

When I leave her arms, I hurry to catch up with Phin as he leads the way upstairs. As we climb the stairs, I whack the back of his shoulder, and he scowls back at me.

"What?!"

"You realize that Mom and Dad are going to compare notes now?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So! We're gonna get busted on so many things."

"So?" Phin shrugs. "I'd rather get busted than have Piz as a step-father."

"True," I say as we approach my bedroom door. "I'd rather get busted than have Stosh telling me what to do for the rest of my life too."

"And I'd rather see Mom kiss Dad than kiss Piz."

I giggle and lean against my door frame. "Also true."

As Phin continues to walk toward his room, I watch him, thinking about how very glad I am that he didn't stay gone for long.

"Hey!" I call down the hall, and he stops and turns at his doorway. 

"What?"

"Don't do anything stupid like run away again." I try and keep things light-hearted, but the hurt in my heart breaks through. "It really sucked to be worried about you. A lot. And it sucked to watch Mom and Dad be worried too."

Phin hangs his head, kinda like he did when Mom and Dad talked to us both before dinner. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I won't do that again — to anyone."

"Good." I frown. "Love you, fart-breath."

His lip twitches like Dad's does, and he smiles. "Love you, stink-face."

I watch him go into his room and close the door, and wonder how many times Dad will check on him tonight. Poor Dad. He didn't deserve any of this. I mean, neither did Mom, but still, Dad has been through a lot. But the fact that he still loves Mom, after everything, almost feels like a miracle. Then again, that's kind of my Dad. He has a big heart like Phin. I still don't know about me. I should probably feel worse about what happened between Mom and Stosh. But I don't. Maybe that makes me more like Mom than I think.

Walking into my room, I close the door and start to get ready for bed. That's when the sadness starts to hit. The unknown. We're still planning on going back with Mom to New York. Does that mean that Dad's staying here? Are they going to try and fix things long-distance? Or is Phin going to get his wish and we'll move here, and I'll have to leave my friends and my school and everything? I mean, I get it...they want to talk without Phin and I getting involved. But it still sucks to be going to bed, again, with this feeling that things aren't normal anymore. Although we were never really  _ normal _ in the first place, it's strange to be happy about Mom and Dad and kinda scared about what that means too.

Hopefully, Mom and Dad will talk tonight, and in the morning, life will be a little clearer.    
  



	18. Chapter 18

I'm half asleep as I make my way downstairs for breakfast, but the smell of bacon is leading me on. Our last full day here, and Dad must be cooking up something special. I hear voices coming from the kitchen, and I slow my steps. It's Dad. And Mom! She must have stayed over in the guest room. My stomach starts to tickle, thinking about them talking all night. This is good. They obviously wanted to spend as much time together as possible before we leave, and now, we get to have breakfast with both Mom AND Dad!

I creep through the entryway on my way to the kitchen but try and keep out of sight, so I can hear what they’re saying. I can see Mom at the kitchen island. She’s wearing Dad’s black robe, and she’s putting fruit on a plate. I can’t see Dad, but I can smell his pancakes and my stomach grumbles.

“Bacon’s out of the oven,” Dad says, and he steps behind Mom and wraps his arms around her waist. He’s wearing his sweats and no shirt, but he has on his “Kiss the Cook” apron we sent him for Father’s Day a few years ago.

“If we eat it all before the kids wake up, they’ll never know about it,” Mom teases him, and he begins to rock them back and forth while she’s still trying to cut fruit.

“Good to know that there are some things about you that never change. I’ll add it to the list I started in my head last night….”

And then it happens, but like in slow motion. Dad pulls down the shoulder of Mom’s robe like he's a vampire, about to suck her blood, and starts kissing her neck as she giggles.

“Loogaaann…”

I scoot back out of range into the entryway and cringe, my hands flailing as I try and fling the image of my dad kissing my mom IN THAT WAY out of my head. 

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwwww. Why is he kissing her like that? 

Ugh. 

I know why. 

I’ve read some of those parts in Stella’s stolen romance books. They did IT. My stomach tosses again, but now I’m not hungry. Oh, my God! They did IT while we were in the house with them!

Ew. Ew. Ew.

I hear Phin coming down the stairs, and I race up to meet him, as he greets me with a yawn.

“What’s up with you?”

I put my finger in front of my mouth to shush him. “Mom stayed over. They’re making us breakfast,” I hiss.

“Cool. And?”

“And?! AND?!!!”

“And what? Dad said she may stay over in one of the guest rooms. Why are you being weird?”

I purse my lips at him and glance downstairs, just to make sure they haven’t figured out we’re awake. “They’re down there being all lovey-dovey with each other. And it’s kinda gross.”

“So. Like Grandpa said, get used to it.”

“Yeah, but I think they did…” I gather my courage to say it. “..IT!”

Phin shivers and sticks out his tongue, gagging. “Why did you have to tell me that? I don’t need to know.”

“But like, does that mean they want another baby?” I gasp in frustration. “Because I really think we should have been consulted before that happens.”

“I don’t think they care about what we think about that, Gracie,” Phin covers his face and groans. “Can we stop talking about this now? My stomach hurts, and I don’t know if it’s from what you just said, or I’m hungry, or both.”

“Okay. Fine. We’ll go downstairs and eat…” I say and turn to walk back down. “But start talking to me loudly, so they quit making out before we get there.”

“OKAY, GRACIE!” Phin yells, and I jump a bit. “SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!”

I roll my eyes and shake my head, waiting for him to catch up, ignoring the smirk on his face. “You suck,” I mutter.

“No, you suck,” he shoots back and laughs as we make our way towards the kitchen. 

When we get there, we both freeze in the hallway, watching as Dad and Mom hurry around, putting food on all the plates. Mom is beet red, and she's clutching Dad's robe closed near her neck. Dad has a funny smile on his face, and I’m glad we interrupted whatever they were doing because they both look guilty as heck about something.

“Hey! Good morning guys,” Dad says and points to the stools on the other side of the island. “Hop on a chair. A breakfast feast is served!”

“Better than any restaurant in Neptune,” Mom adds with a grin and pushes our plates in front of the seats. They are piled high with pancakes, bacon, and fruit. A glass of milk and a glass of Dad's signature pulpy fresh-squeezed orange juice sit at our places too.

“Smells great!” Phin says and hops up onto one stool, grabbing a piece of bacon and shoving it in his mouth before he’s even really settled.

“It was a team effort,” Mom says.

Dad places a plate with more bacon near Mom and lifts a piece up for her, waving it playfully in front of her nose with a wide grin before she playfully snatches it from his fingers.

“Aren’t you guys going to eat?” I ask, trying to distract myself from them by focusing on pouring maple syrup on my blueberry pancakes.

There’s a pause, and Dad arches his eyebrow and his mouth twists into a devil-like grin. Lifting his coffee mug to his lips, he chuckles. “I’ve already eaten today.”

And then Mom blushes again, and I have no idea why she’s blushing, but they really need to stop being weirdos because this is already getting annoying.

Mom clears her throat and picks up her coffee, taking a sip as she focuses on us eating our breakfast. 

“So, while you guys are eating, your Dad and I thought we could talk to you about the plans we made last night after you were in bed.”

“Our plans for the future,” Dad adds. He unties his apron and pulls it over his head, tossing it across the end of the counter and moves closer to Mom. He wraps one arm around her waist and kisses the side of her head. “ _ All _ of our future.”

Oh God. This is it. I stop eating and keep my eyes firmly focused on them. I hear Phin put his fork and knife down on his plate and quickly glance over to see the worried expression on his face too.

“Instead of flying out tomorrow morning, we’re all going to fly back to New York on a private plane tonight…” Mom takes a deep breath and nods to Dad.

All?

“Uncle Dick is letting us use his band’s touring plane,” Dad picks up. “So today is going to be a busy day, packing and cleaning up your rooms and making arrangements for us to leave.”

Us?

“Us?” Phin says out loud.

Mom and Dad look at each other and then back to us and nod. “Yes,  _ us, _ ” Mom explains. “Your Dad is going to come back to New York with us and stay for a week on the pull-out couch in my office that we use when Grandpa visits.”

“We’re going to move on, slowly, together,” Dad adds. “I have some meetings I have to come back to Neptune for the following week, but this will allow me to see what your daily life is like. Your schedule. Your mom’s schedule.”

My mouth is suddenly dry. This is happening. This is actually happening.

“Your father sent an email to his therapist and asked if she could recommend a couples counsellor for he and I to start seeing in New York…” Mom says, slowly. “And if she can recommend one for you both to see as well.”

“Why do we need to see a counsellor?” I ask, frowning at the _both_. “ _I’m_ perfectly fine.”

“You think you are...now…” Mom states with a heavy sigh. “But sweetheart, I used to think I was fine too when I was your age. And I wasn’t. So much happened to me when I was growing up, and I never talked to anyone about it, and it finally made it so I made some very, very bad decisions in my life. And I don’t want that for you and Phin.”

"The same goes for me," Dad says. "It wasn't until your mother left and I started talking with a therapist about my childhood and my parents and the choices I had made in life that I started to realize I needed to make some changes if I was going to be a good father to you both."

Mom places her hand on Dad's chest, her head on his shoulder, and he kisses her forehead.

"So Dad is just staying for a week?" Phin asks, and I can hear the sadness in his voice.

"I'll be back, Phin, I promise," Dad says and squeezes Mom against him. "You aren't going to be rid of me that quickly. I'm just going to have to commute a bit while I finish up some projects in California and start to pursue some opportunities in New York. And I'll need to find an office space in New York as well."

"I said you can use my office during the day while I'm at work," Mom says, and Dad chuckles.

"I've shared an office with you before. In college. And we fought about space all the time." Dad lets go of her and picks up another piece of bacon, pointing it at Mom. "I just think it's conducive to what we're trying to accomplish that I find some space of my own to work. Somewhere where someone doesn't always steal my expensive pens and either lose them or chew them."

Mom snatches the bacon from him, a smile on her lips as she bites into it.

"Fine. You realize you can fit our apartment in New York in one wing of this house, right? Are you going to be okay with the lack of space and privacy?"

"I'll be fine." He picks up another piece of bacon and takes a bite, shrugging at her. "However, maybe we need to talk about finding a bigger place in the future. Something that works for all of us."

"But what about this house?" I ask. "And Uncle D? And Grandpa?"

"Well, the house cannot come with us," Dad teases, and I roll my eyes. "But I'll keep it for when I'm in town on business and when we visit. And Uncle Dick and Grandpa are more than welcome to come and see us in New York — I can fly Grandpa out whenever he wants and put him up in a fancy hotel. And I'm sure Uncle Dick will take it upon himself to do the same."

"We usually go on vacation during spring break when I take time off," Mom adds. "Maybe we can all come back to Neptune that week instead? And just because I can't get a lot of time off in the summer doesn't mean you guys and Dad can't come back and visit everyone for a few weeks without me. It's fine."

"And we'll always have Christmas here…" Phin says. "Right?"

Mom adjusts Dad's robe and smiles. "Yes. We'll always have Christmas here."

"What about…." I take a deep breath and look between my parents accusingly. "...babies?"

"Babies?" Mom sputters and covers her mouth, turning beet red again.

"Babies," I repeat, narrowing my eyes. "Will there be babies with this deal?"

Dad snorts and shakes his head before breaking out into laughter, and Mom joins him, which kinda ticks me off because they're laughing while standing across from me, nearly naked, when they have clearly been TRYING...

"I am NOT babysitting," Phin states and crosses his arms.

"Oh, my God. Gracie. Phin. We haven't even discussed having more kids." Mom wipes the tears of laughter from her eyes.

"I mean, we're still figuring out how to parent you both," Dad adds. "More kids are definitely a discussion to be had in a year. Or more."

"And when you do, you'll talk to us about it first, right?" I say, crossing my arms and scowling. "Because I have some feelings."

"And we appreciate that, Gracie," Mom says, reaching across for my hand. "But for now, how about we just enjoy our family, as it is?"

"Tell you what, when the time comes, you will both be allowed to make presentations to the court — also known as Mom and me — about your feelings about the  _ possibility _ of siblings." Dad steps behind Mom and wraps his arms around her, kissing the back of her head. "But for now, just know that adding more sleepless nights to our lives is not on the table."

"Yet." Mom smirks and lets go of my hand to wrap her arms over Dad's.

"Yet?" Dad parrots, and Mom giggles.

"What? You make cute babies. Just look at these two…" She gestures at us, and I roll my eyes as Phin sits up straighter.

Dad sways Mom back and forth again and kisses her cheek as she laughs.

"Yet," he mutters to himself and grins.

"Any OTHER questions?" she sighs, glancing between us.

I look at Phin, and Phin looks at me, and we shrug. 

"Don't think so," I say.

"Not right now," Phin agrees.

"Fine. Great." Dad claps his hands together and rubs them quickly. "Then you both eat what you have there…" Leaning across Mom, Dad grabs a strawberry from a bowl and pops it in his mouth before retreating. "Mom and I will pick at what's left over."

Mom shakes her head and reaches for another piece of bacon. "And after that, we'll have to work really hard getting everyone packed and your bedrooms cleaned up. Our plane leaves at 11:00 p.m., and there is a lot we all have to accomplish before then."

I glance at Phin. We all know it's his room that took the biggest hit, but no one’s saying it.

The sound of the front door slamming makes me jump, and we all turn to see Uncle D saunter into the kitchen, in khaki shorts and a rumpled t-shirt, grinning at us all.

"Hey! Breakfast!"

"Good morning to you too, Dick." Dad chuckles and jerks his head at the cupboards. "Grab a plate. We made enough for an army."

"Well, don't mind if I do!" He takes a quick glance at Mom, frowns, then rolls his eyes. "Nice robe, Ronnie. Black is your colour."

Mom takes a sharp breath. "Good morning Dick," she manages, then clamps her lips shut.

As Uncle D passes to get a plate, Dad whacks his shoulder, and Uncle D frowns and whacks him back, and they exchange this funny look when Uncle D jerks his head towards Mom behind her back.

"Not now, Dick," Dad mutters.

Uncle D just shakes his head and turns his attention back to grabbing a plate from the cupboard. 

"Well, at least Ronnie breaking Piz's heart didn't stop his plan to bring glory to Citizen Dick," Uncle D says as he grabs a stack of pancakes and puts them on his plate. "He spent last night with the rest of the band and me getting interviews from the boys. I even let him crash at my place when he told me what happened. Just ripped his heart right out of his chest, still beating, didn't you, Ronnie?"

As Uncle D walks around to join us on the other side of the island, Mom raises her finger at him and opens her mouth to speak, but Dad beats her to it.

"Okay. Let's all agree that this didn't play out in the kindest way for Piz…." Dad looks at Mom and then tilts his head at us as if reminding her not to kill Uncle D in front of us kids. "Thanks for helping him out, Dick."

Mom presses her lips together for a second and then nods. "Yes. Thank you, Dick." She takes a deep breath and reaches for her coffee. "And thank you for the plane home. We appreciate it."

Uncle D looks at her, a little shocked, but then nods and smiles, taking a seat next to Phin. "Well, my pleasure. But with you guys going to New York, I may have to look at getting some permanent accommodations there. I mean, what with the exposure we're about to get...maybe it's time old Dick takes a bite out of the Big Apple's music scene, ya know?"

Mom nearly spits out her coffee, and Dad chuckles. Uncle D has a big grin on his face as he pours a ton of maple syrup on his pancakes, looking very proud of himself. 

"That'd be awesome, Uncle D!" Phin says. "We can show you and Dad around!! You can meet our friends!"

"Maybe you can come to my music class at school and bring your cool instruments, Uncle D," I add. "Ms. Phillips probably hasn't even thought about teaching us the theremin."

"Oh, Gracie…." Mom sighs.

"What?" Uncle D shrugs. "It's the instrument of the future. Get on board, Ronnie."

"Yeah," Dad smirks. "Get on board, Veronica."

Mom's eyes skim us all, and I can't help but giggle as she sighs at Dad. He takes a sip of his coffee and swallows, a wicked grin on his face.

"Love me, love my Dick." Dad wiggles his eyebrows at Mom, and both Phin and I make gagging sounds because we totally got that gross one.

"Logan!" Mom gasps.

"Ew. Not cool, Dad," I cringe and shake my head.

"I agree." Phin sticks out his tongue and shivers. "Over the line."

"What?! Uncle D and I are a matching set!" Dad gasps like he's shocked we could think he meant anything else. "You love me…" He points at Uncle D. "...you gotta love Uncle Dick as well."

Mom rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Does this mean we need to get him a little dog bed to sleep in on the living room floor?"

Uncle D opens his arms and grins. "Hey man, I've crashed in worse places. There was this hotel in Tijuana…"

"...aaaanddd we have officially scarred the children enough for today," Dad states. 

"Agreed," Mom says and then frowns at Uncle D. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Uncle D smiles at us. "Wanted one last visit with the little dudes. Figured I could help them pack and stuff. Logan also told me Phin did a real number on his room — thought he could use a hand cleaning it up." Phin looks down at his plate, turning red at the mention of his anger, and Uncle D puts his hand around his shoulders. "I know what it's like to be an angry kid. I felt the same way when my mom took off when I was about your age. So you know, if you ever need to run away again, you just call on your Uncle D, and you can crash at my pad. Way safer than the beach. Okay?"

Phin looks up at Uncle D and smiles. "Okay. Thanks."

"While I appreciate the offer, Dick," Mom says, "hopefully, no one will be running off anymore."

"Does that go for you too, Ronnie?" Uncle D snarks back at her, and Mom looks at him like she's hoping he'll burst into flames or something.

"Yes," she snaps. "That goes for us all."

"Good, because I'm not picking up the pieces for you again." Uncle D points his fork at Mom, and a shiver runs down my spine because I think Mom may smack him like she did to Piz.

But instead, she straightens her shoulders and nods at him. "You won't have to worry about that this time. We're committed to working this out."

"With some professional help. And time," Dad says and wraps his arm around Mom's waist again. "But we need the support of everyone to help us through it, Dick."

Uncle D scoffs. "Dude, of course, I'll be supportive. Why the hell do you think I'm here?"

I roll my eyes at the same time as Mom. Clearly, Uncle D's support comes with a heavy dose of guilt for Mom, which isn't all that supportive of her.

"Well then, Dick, I appreciate your help. And your support of us all." Mom is totally using her lawyer's voice like she's preparing for court, but Uncle D doesn't seem to notice and grins.

"Thanks, Ronnie. Anytime."

He dives back into his stack of pancakes, and Phin and I smile at him, looking totally like he belongs on the kids' side of the island with us, happily enjoying his breakfast. 

Mom puts her head on Dad's shoulder, and he whispers something into her hair, causing her to smile. She puts down her coffee and wraps both arms around him, and closes her eyes as his arms come around her, keeping her close.

I go back to eating the last little bit of my breakfast, content with my family.

  
  



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 billion thank you's to my friend and Beta, Irma66 for spending the holidays with me and this fic. You are the best.

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EPILOGUE 

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I've been up since 5 a.m., laying in bed, listening to Mom and Dad scurry around the apartment through the walls of my room. It's my birthday. Well, I guess it's OUR birthday, but really, it's mine first because I'm still forever five minutes older than Phin.

I wonder what they're doing out there? I bet it's big. This is Dad's first time celebrating with us in years, and he's been practically vibrating with excitement leading up to today. All I know for sure is that while we're at school today, he's picking Grandpa and Alicia up at the airport, and we’re going to spend the weekend doing cool stuff like going to the Bronx Zoo and things.

Uncle D called dibs on picking us up after school, and then we're all going to meet for a fancy-schmancy dinner at a restaurant near Mom's office. Mom and I even got gorgeous new dresses for the occasion. She’s taking hers with her to the office, so she doesn’t have to come home.

Stella likes when Uncle D sometimes picks us up because I let her fangirl over him. He was a bit weirded out by it at first, but once I explained that Stella's a bit boy-crazy, Uncle D was kind. He even gave her a pink Citizen Dick t-shirt, which Stella's mom was pretty upset about, but Mom calmly explained that it was the name of an actual band and Uncle D was not some pervy-weirdo, so Stella was allowed to keep it. 

The first time we came out of school to find Dad waiting for us across the street, leaning against his black rental car, Stella got all stupid and started blathering to him about how much she's wanted to meet him and looking up at him with big eyes like he was Justin Bieber or something. The next day, I told her she had to stop it because she was being a flake, and if she kept doing it, I would have to make Ginny Drake my new best friend because she could deal. She cut it out pretty quickly after that. Or at least she hides it better. I did warn Dad, though, that he should wear lots and lots of clothes when Stella sleeps over, and every time, he's managed to stay well covered in his Christmas pajamas and robe (just to be safe.)

Honestly, though, I can't believe it's been six months since Dad came back with us. It's been such a whirlwind. Not just because of Stella.

First off, let me just say...my parents are liars. 

They made this HUMONGOUS deal about the fact that Dad was going to sleep in the office on the pull-out couch, saying they were "taking things slow." They had been separated for eight years. There were things they still needed to work out. Personal space. Blah...blah...blah….

Yeah. No. 

There's a stack of blankets and pillows that Mom put out on the couch that hasn't moved in six months. I mean, I heard them talking through her bedroom walls and Mom giggling when I got up to the bathroom that first night! I had to flush the toilet before I used it, just so they knew I was there, just in case anything icky was going on. They heard, and they were dead quiet after that. Dad even tried to do this thing the next morning where he came out of the office, pretending he slept there like he thought we were idiots and would fall for that. I mean, they still make out all over the apartment! They kiss in the elevator! They hold hands everywhere we go. We're turning eleven years old today — we're not children anymore. We get what's going on.

Anyway, other than them being all stupid about where Dad sleeps, it's been going well. Mom was all uptight the first few weeks while they were figuring things out — where Dad would put his clothes, should he drive one of his cars back across the country for them to share, who got what time in the office — but things started to calm down when Dad took over making us all breakfast and taking us to school and picking us up too. And sometimes, if Uncle D is in town, Mom will even let  _ him _ pick us up and drop us off at Dad's office.

We used to have Mrs. Fernandez who looked after us after school at her apartment a few floors down, but now we just go over to her place on Wednesday nights when Mom and Dad go to therapy together, and when they go out on "date night" every Friday night, or if Dad's out of town on business. When Dad comes by to get us, she always says nice things to him in her thick Portuguese accent and pats his cheek like he's her son or grandson, and he always smiles and asks about her grandchildren and even brings her chocolates and stuff.

Weekends are for family, Mom and Dad decided, and so they both take us to our activities, then we all grab lunch together. Sometimes we'll split up, and Mom and I will go shopping or to the bookstore, and Dad and Phin will go to the arcade or the Lego Store, or sometimes we switch who goes with who, but we always end our day on the couch together in the evening, eating pizza and watching movies or playing Mario Kart or Monopoly or something. 

They still argue sometimes about silly things. Like last week, Mom was being weird about something that was happening at work that morning and she got mad at Dad for not taking out the garbage, complaining about how our apartment stunk like dead chicken when we all woke up. He started arguing back with her about making the chicken dinner in the first place and that she should have thrown it out when she cleaned up, so I just went and took the garbage out in front of them, and when I got back from dropping it down the chute at the end of the hallway, they had stopped arguing and were hugging instead. Sometimes it's just like that. Thankfully, it doesn't last long.

Phin and I go to a counsellor once a week on Monday after school. Phin goes to Dr. Hussain, and I go to Dr. Pascal, and Dad waits for us, and when we’re done, we go for ice cream. Afterwards, we do our homework, and Dad has dinner on the table by the time Mom gets home. The first time he did this, Mom was shocked at how good a cook he had become, and that's when he told her that he took private cooking classes when he had the house built, so he could feed us (and himself) with at least the minimum amount of healthy food on our plates.

The best thing, though, has been seeing how less stressed Mom is. How much she seems to enjoy everything now. She smiles almost all the time, like truly happy-in-her-heart smiles. And most of them happen when Dad is in the room. When he has to go back to California for work, Mom tries to be happy, but it's really not the same. The first week Dad was gone, after we came back from Christmas, it was like she was distracted the entire time he was away, and the minute he returned, she went back to being happy again. And there have been a few times when they come back from counselling that you can tell she's been crying. The morning after, though, Dad will bring her coffee and breakfast in bed, telling us that Mom just needs a little time to herself to figure things out. He says talking about the things that hurt us can hurt even more, and Mom just needed some extra love on those days.

Now, we're looking at houses. Like real houses, not just bigger apartments. Dad wants a Brownstone. Mom thinks they're outrageously expensive. We've gone to see two, one with six bedrooms and one with five, and I overheard Dad make a comment to Mom about room for one or two more kids. I'm mostly okay with that, just as long as I don't have to share my bedroom with anyone, especially Phin who is really turning into a stinky boy. Mom wants us to start with a dog, though, and see how that works for us first before they try for more babies, which I think is probably a good plan.

I dunno if they're going to get married, and really, I don't care. Maybe they'll be blissfully un-married forever. I'm totally okay with that, and so is Phin. Although going wedding dress shopping with Mom would be cool.

There's a knock at my door, and I shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. You gotta humour them sometimes, am I right?

The door opens, and I hear Dad whisper, "Grace Lillian Mars. It's time to wake up."

I open one eye and rub it and yawn, trying to make it look good.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Mom says. "Happy birthday."

I sit up and see them standing in the doorway. I can only see their outline, and when I look up, I realize they have pointy heads. I frown, and Dad turns on the light, and I cringe when I realize why they look like that. They’re both already dressed for the day, but they’re wearing sparkly party hats, then Dad throws something in the air, and suddenly there’s confetti and streamers and twinkly stuff raining down in my room.

“Surprise!” Dad says, and I look down over everything on my floor now covered in ‘party.’

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaim, and Phin steps from behind them, wearing a party hat, looking a little less than thrilled.

“Yeah. They did that to me too.”

Mom smiles at him, lifting a pink blow-tickler to her lips and blows. It knocks into Phin’s hat when the paper unravels and a high squawking sound echoes in the room.

“We were going to wake you guys up that way,” Dad says, “but your mom thought that was a bit on the mean side.”

Mom turns to me and blows it again, and I can’t help but giggle at the sight of her in her expensive grey suit and party gear. Dad soooooo obviously put her up to this.

Dad steps through my room and leans over, opening the elastic of another party hat. I gleefully put my face into it, letting him put it on my head.

“This is the best, Dad.”

“Thank you!” He bows, in his khakis and blue waffle shirt, and offers his hand to me. “Shall we get to your special birthday breakfast?”

I take his hand and slide out from under my covers, and my cheeks hurt, I’m smiling so hard. “We shall!”

Holding his hand, we walk together, past Mom and Phin, who clearly are still not as excited as Dad and I are to be up and partying at 6:00 a.m. We step out of the hallway and see that the living room is filled with, like, a gagillion rainbow balloons. In the middle floats a big foil “11” and I squeal.

“THIS IS EPIC!”

“It certainly is.” Mom sighs as she and Phin come up behind us.

“Woah! This is intense, Dad,” Phin gasps.

“Thank you!” Dad puffs up his chest. “Had them hiding all day yesterday in the office. You guys never suspected a thing.”

“You did?” I give him a wicked smile and arch my eyebrow at him and Mom. “Then how did you sleep on the pull-out?”

Mom snickers and gives Dad a playful shove on his shoulder. “Yeah. How did you manage that, Logan?”

Dad ignores us and leads me toward the kitchen, pushing open the swinging door and holding it so Phin and I can see inside, and I gasp.

There are two places set at our round table, one for me and one for Phin, with a giant stack of pancakes piled on each. On top of each stack are 11 tall, thin candles lit and twinkling in the morning light. A long banner screams HAPPY BIRTHDAY across the wall, and they've filled almost every extra surface with vases of colourful wildflowers. More confetti and sprinkles are scattered across the tabletop, and it looks both magnificent and overwhelming at the same time.

“It...it’s just beautiful,” I whisper as my heart catches in my throat and I blink back tears.

Stepping into the room, I walk over to the candles and stand over them, waiting for Phin.

“This is amazing, you guys,” Phin says as he steps to his stack of pancakes and stares down at the flickering flames with the same awe in his face that I’m feeling right now.

"Why, thank you," Dad replies. "We went with the theme of more-is-more."

Mom and Dad walk around us to the other side, and Mom pulls out her phone, getting it ready to take a picture.

“Okay, guys, on the count of three…” Dad says, “...make a wish. One...”

I close my eyes, but nothing comes to me.

“Two…”

I open my eyes again and see Dad and Mom smiling back at me, together.

“Three…”

I blow out the candles, even though all my wishes have already come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading. ❤ E.B.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my friend and Beta, Irma66 for giving me a hand with this fic.


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